Broken Chain - Legend of Korra, Season 2, Episode 13

Korra fails at keeping Unalaq from bonding with Vaatu, with disastrous consequences.  Tenzin succeeds, only to still not have his daughter.

Vaatu is free of the Tree of Time and just prancing around for a minute while Unalaq stares lovingly at the Spirit of Dark and Chaos.  Vaatu gets down to business and approaches Unalaq so they can bond. Korra hurls fire at them to stay separated, then uses Avatar power to grab Unalaq, and throw him right back through the South Pole Portal and out of the Spirit World.  She sends Bolin and Mako back through the portal to keep Unalaq out until she can re-imprison Vaatu.

You again?  

Team Tenzin is wandering the forest of the Spirit World, with no luck.  Bumi and Kya fight over what's more useless, trying to find Spirit footprints, or following spiritual energy in a world full of it.  They decide to ask a nearby, tree-dwelling spirit for help, but it turns out to be about as helpful as the rent-a-car clerk in Planes Trains and Automobiles, and they barely escape the scorpion-like spirit.  After wandering the forest some more, even a nearby spirit mushroom can tell they're lost.

The talking mushroom needs its own show!

They start to bicker again when Iroh shows up with his friendly spirit fox.  Iroh is willing to help them find the way out of the spirit world, but Tenzin tells Iroh that they've come to find his daughter, and won't return to the human world without her spirit.  Iroh wishes them the best, but warns them that eventually they'll be somewhere where only the lost can find them.  Only Tenzin figures out what that means, and marches right back to the scorpion spirit, blasting it with air so it will come out and capture them.

Vague hints are free!

Bolin and Mako stand vigil at the portal on the human side, and Unalaq's attack is icicle missiles, which Mako and Bolin block, pretty easily, with fire and earth.  The second season team has done an excellent job on Mako and Bolin's fight scenes, showing that together and alone, their time as professional benders has prepared them for this.  These last episodes of Bolin and Mako fighting together have been staged to demonstrate what a superior team they are, at least as long as Desna and Eska aren't around.

Korra and Vaatu duke it out on the Spirit World side, with Korra hitting Vaatu with fire, blasting a hole in him that heals and he captures her with vines that hold her still so she can't bend.  She struggles with them for a minute before head-butting fire to startle Vaatu and free herself.  She then turns on the Avatar power, and we hear Raava tell Vaatu that she's locking him up for another ten thousand years.  All four elements approach and circle Vaatu, capturing him.

Bolin and Mako are slightly bored waiting behind Bolin's makeshift cover when Eska appears suddenly, calling Bolin her turtle duck, and she and Desna knock the brothers unconscious.  Eska can really make a term of endearment sound ominous.  Unalaq returns, leaves his kids to guard Bolin and Mako, and goes right back through the portal.  Korra is just about to place Vaatu back in the Tree of Time, when Unalaq attacks and Vaatu breaks free.  Korra is a little dizzy from Unalaq's water knockout, and can't stop him from bonding with Vaatu this time.

Mako and Bolin race into the Spirit World.  Desna and Eska follow, trapping them both in ice blocks that prevent them from moving and bending.  They are helpless as Desna and Eska watch Unalaq and Vaatu become one.  Unalaq declares himself the new Avatar for a new age.  Korra calls bullshit on this.  Their fight takes them back into the human world through the portal.  Desna and Eska guard Bolin and Mako.

Korra and Unalaq battle it out as Avatars, even though Unalaq can still only bend water, and Korra has all four elements.  Korra has a great move where she bends rock to shoot out of the ground under her, propelling her into the air so she can hurl fire at Unalaq.  He gains an advantage over her and tries to kill her by crushing her in a crevice in the ice.  Raava rallies Korra, who turns on the Avatar power for another attack.  She uses water as a coil to trap Unalaq's arm, then turns the part on Unalaq into ice so that arm is immobilized.  When she tries the same trick on his other arm, he ends up using the water link between them to draw her in close.  Then Vaatu takes over.

Tenzin, Bumi, and Kya are dragged by the scorpion spirit to the Bog of Lost Souls, and Tenzin explains that the fog that looks harmless is actually a spirit that infects minds, inducing amnesia and madness.  When Kya asks just how long they could be trapped there, they see General Zhao from Aang's battle at the North Pole.  He is still obsessed with capturing Aang, and confuses Tenzin for Aang, until Bumi and Kya drive him away and they can escape.  Tenzin tries to delay the inevitable by tying them together, but Bumi and Kya eventually forget who they are, and untie themselves, running off into the fog.  Bumi is terrified of cannibals he sees; Kya thinks her own brothers are trying to kidnap her.  Tenzin is left alone, about to forget who he is.

Mako tries to reason with Desna, who briefly remembers that his own dad didn't care if he died.  Eska is resolute until Bolin breaks out in tears.  Eska tells him "explain yourself further",  and he "confesses" to Eska that he loves her and now, with the world ending in Vaatu's darkness,  the ember of their love will never be big hot love flames.  Eska, touched, passionately kisses Bolin, and frees him.  She warns Bolin that no one can defeat their father, but maybe they can get together if Bolin lives.  Bolin and Mako race back to the human world to help Korra.  Desna is sure they're goners.

Sure, I want my dad to kill you.  But that doesn't mean I don't love you.

Tenzin desperately reminds himself that he is the son of Aang, and all the responsibilities that come with being the son of the last Airbender, and how important it is to pass on his father's legacy, and please his father, long dead.  Tenzin starts tormenting himself with fear of failure, fear of disappointing his father, and starts to go mad, until Aang appears.

You could have done this a lot sooner.  Just sayin'.

Aang finally clears up all of Tenzin's daddy issues with "You are not me.  You should not be me.  You are Tenzin."  Tenzin clears the infection and the spirit by repeating his name, driving out his fears and self-imposed expectations for pleasing his father.  The air clears, and Tenzin can see Jinora, sitting on her knees, not really aware of anything around her. Tenzin gathers her up, finds Bumi and Kya, and takes them out of the valley.  As they reach the top of the hill, the others remember who they are, and regain consciousness.  With the mist cleared, it's obvious what a mental prison the place is, as lost souls simply stand or sit or kneel blankly, totally inert and some so close to the hill to just walk out.  Kya and Bumi follow Tenzin, realizing their big brother saved them as the mist regenerates and the prison is secure again.

Leaving the party early

Vaatu opens up Unalaq and releases a huge amount of energy, that Korra tries to rebuff too late.  Vaatu's energy draws Raava out of Korra.

Korra collapses on the ground, dazed and too weak to stop Unalaq as he whips water at Raava, each blow severing spiritual links with her past lives, starting with Aang and finally working back, as Raava is vanquished, to Wan, who disappears in a flash of light. Each disappearing Avatar hits Korra like a blow to the chest.

Ten thousand years of spirit power and knowledge, wiped out

Unalaq whips Raava again, and she dissolves into light particles that melt away like firecracker sparks.    Raava is gone.  The unbroken chain of Avatars is no more.  There is no one to stop Vaatu now.

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!

Team Tenzin is walking back to the portals, with spirit butterfly friends of Jinora to guide them, when Jinora stops, and informs them that something terrible has happened, and Jinora will have to leave them.    She hands her dad a spirit butterfly, tells him to find Korra, and disappears.  After all Tenzin and his siblings risked, Jinora isn't leaving the spirit world anytime soon.

Vaatu unleashes, and now we see the end of Unalaq.  Vaatu grows enormous, and Eska and Desna come through the portal to watch their father completely disappear into an enormous, black and red spirit giant.  Bolin and Mako reach Korra, and together they watch as Vaatu reaches up to the Aurora Borealis that extends all over the globe during Harmonic Convergence, and it sucks him from the ground.  He disappears into the Aurora, to create the world of darkness and chaos he's wanted for 10,000 years.

Well, at least Unalaq is gone

That's More Like It - Walking Dead, Season 4, Episode 7

So.... I guess he's the Governor again. Or at least a Scoutmaster.  Even that calming, soothing, speechifying voice is back, to go along perfectly with his homicidal mania.  There was a time, when I thought the destruction of his daughter brought about a psychotic episode that ended only when most of Woodbury was dead.  Now, I realize anything could bring out Phil's violence.  Kittens.  Untied shoes.  Phil spends the episode either being reminded of his past, or re-creating it.

We start with Megan and "Brian" being helped out of the walker pit by a very reluctant Martinez.  But what's Martinez supposed to do?  If Martinez kills Phil, he'd be responsible for Tara, Lily and Megan.  We find out later that Martinez just can't handle that responsibility again, not after losing his own family when the world turned.  Martinez fishing them out of the pit is juxtaposed with Phil dodging questions from Megan about his own father, who turns out was a total dick.  Martinez, on the other hand, pretty much rolls with it and makes a decent deal with Phil right at the edge of the pit: I'll call you "Brian" and won't tell them all about the town you destroyed, and you take orders from me.  Megan fears her dad was mean because she's bad.  Phil reassures her she is, in fact, good.  Too bad not everyone else is.

Totally sure everything will be okay

It's a good deal, with Phil, Lily and Megan sharing a camper with only one leak in the roof.  But Phil is actually ashamed that this is all he can offer his new family.  Is this what Phil was like before?  Always trying to provide more for his family than he actually could, and beating himself up for it?  Obsessing over whether he was correcting his own father's mistakes?  When his wife died of cancer, did Phil spend the 18 months before zombies re-examining every medical choice they made? Blame the insurance company for her death?  Since Phil loves Megan like he loved Penny, did this mean she was the only bright, good spot of his life?

Lily and Tara adjust well to the camp, with Lily providing the camp's only medical care, and Tara getting a girlfriend she can talk guns with (I'll take a .22 rifle by any reputable manufacturer, myself).  Megan doesn't seem to have kids she can play with, which leads to a pretty disastrous game of tag, but otherwise it's really only Phil's demons that camp could do without.  It's got about 20 adults, 2 of whom had military experience.  Pete was a loyal soldier to the end;  his brother Mitch ditched as soon as he could gas up his tank.

Martinez, The brothers Grimm, and Phil all head out to a cabin supposedly filled with supplies, to discover its owner dispensed some pretty extreme justice.  The owner, after killing others, labels himself a murderer and blows his own head off.  Phil bends over to look at the same picture he used to carry- Dad, pretty Mom, pretty little girl adored by Mom and Dad.  They inspect the cabin, and find a room with the zombie Mom and daughter, as well as the head collection.  Phil takes out the undead with his knife.  To Phil, this is all old hat and really just reminds him of the good old days, which Martinez must be aware of.

As the searchers share some beer they discover, Phil cleverly dodges questions about his past, saying on "I survived".  Is he talking about before or after the world turned?  Martinez is complicit here and later, when the ladies can't get any info out of Phil about his old life, or the town he and Martinez both left.  Phil actually starts clearing the table rather than answer any questions about Woodbury.  As he lets the leak in the roof get at him again, Martinez asks if Phil can come over to play... golf.  

All alone, you, me, some booze, some golf clubs and your murderous pathology

Up on the roof of Martinez's camper, with Martinez obviously drunk, Martinez explains that the ladies and Megan are the only reason he's here, as Martinez will never take on the responsibility of a family again.  You can't promise they'll be safe.  No one can keep that promise, so no one should make that promise.  Phil just repeats that he won't let anything happen to them "again".  Does Phil even know the difference between this family and his first one anymore?  Is he trying to re-create that family, get it right this time?  Martinez, drunk, doesn't think about it either way.  Since the day went so well, and Phil was pretty useful, and he doesn't seem to want to even talk about Woodbury, let alone re-create it, Martinez decides it's a great time to offer to share power with Phil.  The hit from the golf club is quick and silent and knocks Martinez down.  Phil then shoves Martinez off the roof of the camper.  Martinez, beyond the pain and confusion of what is probably a terrible concussion, is shocked that Phil is dragging him across the grass shouting "I don't want it! I don't want it!"  while doing the very thing that will lead to Phil getting it.  At first, Phil holds Martinez' head over the edge in a rage, zombies grabbing Martinez's head. Martinez's body is slowly dragged into the pit and Phil lets go.  He collapses on the grass.  He has just killed the one guy outside the prison who knows just how terrible he can be.  Lily, for the life of her, can't figure out why Phil can't sleep that night.

 Not victim blaming, just saying you really should not have trusted Phil

Pete and Mitch announce Martinez's death to the others, who are demoralized that their leader died after drinking and wandering too close to the zombie pits.  Pete and Mitch announce, to everyone's immediate booing, that Pete will be in charge.  Only after a lot of tension and complaints does Pete announce that they'll hold an election in "a couple of days".  Goddess bless him, Pete probably would have tried to hold an election.  Pete, Mitch and Phil wander the woods for supplies.  Pete is already fretting about how much responsibility leader a bunch of campers is, and will Phil help? Phil doesn't respond as they find another group of campers close enough to reach by a few hours' walking yet somehow never seen before today. Mitch wants to attack them for their supplies; Pete wants to bring them and their supplies in.  Phil has no opinion, other than realizing that these two will bicker and disagree and nothing will ever get done effectively.

If these two don't shut up, I will kill at least one of them

 
After they arrive back, in foul moods because some other group of thugs attacked the same camp later that day, and made off with the supplies they wanted, Phil decides this isn't going to work out.  Mitch and Pete's bickering will ruin the camp.  It's only a matter of time before it explodes and the camp breaks up or is too weak to defend itself.  He rushes into his camper and tells an unbelieving Lily that they have to go, because he's not going to lose them again.  He still can't tell the difference between this family and his first one.  Megan, totally sure of "Brian", is already packing, but Phil has to beg Lily to trust him.  Later that night, Phil, Lily, Megan, Tara and Alicia are on their way out, but they can't get past a pit of zombies trapped in some sort of mud or goo flooding the road.  Phil is totally defeated.  He can't leave, and he sure as hell ain't gonna' accept the pathetic leadership options the camp has.  The next morning, back in their camper with the others asleep, Lily wants to know where Phil is going, and what he's doing.  "Surviving", he tells her.

Worst. Roadblock.  Ever.  

"Surviving", apparently means showing up at Pete's, the kind army guy who wouldn't attack yesterday, and knifing him from behind, killing him.  It also involves showing up at Mitch's with a gun pointed at Mitch as he calmly explains to a bad ass with his own tank that his brother is dead, and Mitch is going to do what Phil wants from now on.  Does Mitch maybe realize that Martinez didn't die by accident at this point?  Hard to say.  Mitch, for all his bluster, is not a chess player and didn't see this coming, which means that Phil is ahead of him.  Phil explains that Mitch will like his leadership, because Phil will do and order whatever it takes to survive.  Phil even has a handy explanation for Pete:  Mitch and Phil can just claim he died a hero on a supply run.  Phil explains, juxtaposed with weighting Pete's body down and tossing him in the pond (notice: no head wound) no one uses because it's polluted, that everyone loves a hero.   Not Phil, though.  Turns out that Phil's older brother was a hero.  Didn't help him.  Phil doesn't want to be a hero.  He wants to live, and protect the family he barely holds on to his sanity for.

Later, Phil is cleaning out his old wound, with his eye patch raised.  In the previous episode, Phil never takes it off, even for sex or sleep.  So when Lilly comes in unexpectedly, Phil scrambles to put it back on so she can't see his eyeless eye.  Lily, though, stops him, and takes a good long look at his missing eye. She's unfazed.  Despite being a nurse, the scene is pretty clear.  Lily is telling Phil that she accepts him as he is, even the scary parts.  She just has no idea how scary the parts can be.  Whatever you do, don't ever complain about how hard it is to be the leader to him.

Phil leads a meeting of the campers, making sure the vehicles all block the perimeter, and that ammo is collected and accounted for.  They seem to all like reporting to him.  He's in full Governor mode, going over locations to gather supplies with others, warning the campers to report all strangers to him.  Phil goes back out to the pond and we realize he's replaced his aquarium collection with the pond.  Pete, dead and zombified, is struggling to swim out of the pond, chained to a weight that keeps him from ever surfacing.  Phil is fascinated with zombie Pete, maybe wondering how he got in there in the first place.  But it's too good to last, and a game of tag ends with Megan almost getting bitten, with Tara completely useless as she tries to drag the zombie away.  Phil ends it just in time with one shot.  The camp is shocked.  Mitch realizes that Phil ain't playing, and is mentally ruling out a coup.  Phil just walks away.  Just like that day, in Woodbury, when he shots a bitten townie the day after Rick and Co. made off with Merle.  Which reminds Phil.  There's a prison just a drive away.

And on those prison grounds is Rick and his kid, growing food.  A short walk away, and old man is laughing with a happy and smiling Michonne, done looking for the man who now has a gun on her.

Quantum of Harmonic Convergence - Legend of Korra, Season 2, Episode 12

This episode does a great deal of setting up, yet never slows down.  Believe it or not, but after a battle of sky bison and prop plane against the Northern Water Tribe, then the battle of Team Avatar against Unalaq, this is all just a prelude to the action of the last two episodes.  Each episode from here on in presents part of the final confrontation between Raava/Korra and Vaatu/Unalaq.  Each episode has periods of building excitement through fighting, and then crushing setbacks due to losses in battle or losing focus which bring the tension down until something new gives Team Avatar new hope, or Unalaq makes the situation worse and they must respond.  In this one, we get to the beginning of Harmonic Convergence and the freeing of Vaatu.

End of the world, schmend of the world, now break up with Korra

We start with comic relief on Varrick's battleship the Ju Li, as an incensed Korra practices ripping apart a dummy Unalaq while Mako watches and Bolin tells him to tell Korra the truth about the break up already.  Bolin shows off stuff he found on the ship, which includes a bite from a cat gator.  Apparently, there's a whole level of them on the battleship.  However, Mako's delayed in telling Korra about their breakup, as Asami, holding it together quite well, tells them they'll have to land at Katara's healing compound, where she is treating the injured Southern Water Tribe fighters that survived last episode's failed rebellion.  Kya and Tenzin bring Jinora, who has been without a spirit in her body for a week.  Katara is impressed with Jinora's endurance, but doesn't know how long her body can survive.

At the South Pole, Unalaq can taste his total victory.  Eska and Desna approach him, and tell him that he's conquered the South, can they go home now?  But Unalaq tells them the plan is just beginning, go and prepare for the inevitable battle with Korra.

Yeah, sure Dad.  We'll get right on it.

Team Avatar frets about getting to the South Pole without an army, until Bumi inspires a great and daring idea from Asami - she'll fly a prop plane to the South Pole base with Mako and Bolin and create havoc that will distract the base from Ugi the sky bison flying into the Portal.  The plan only goes well for about one minute, as Asami's expert maneuvers bring the plane with Mako and Bolin strapped to the wings right up to the base, dodging ice missiles from water benders below, and regular missiles from the Automatons that mysteriously ended up in Unalaq's hands.  Asami gets them close enough that Mako's fire can reach the base, and Bolin can toss some of Varrick's remote explosives into the base, causing an circle of flame throughout the camp.  It goes great until Desna and Eska get involved, hurling missiles at the plane until the back fuselage comes off and Asami crash lands, with Mako and Bolin thrown into the snow.

Unfortunately for Team Avatar, the portal is also guarded by a small herd of dark spirits flying in circles around the light energy emanating straight up from the portal.  Tenzin flying Ugi, with Kya, Bumi, and Korra on board is right behind Asami's plane until they decide to fly around, looking for a way in.  Dark Spirits immediately bombard the sky bison, dragging it down.  Bumi kicks at one particularly big one, but falls and grabs onto the back of the spirit briefly before they both fall off Ugi into the snow below.

Dude, it's a Spirit, not a cockroach

Bumi is just the prelude, the spirits bring Ugi down, with the passengers getting thrown everywhere.  A groggy Korra sees Norther Water Tribe Troops approaching, then comes to seeing her father, Tenzin, and Kya held as Unalaq's prisoners.  Asami, Bolin, and Mako are thrown in bound in chains for good measure.  Only Bumi is still at large, giving them absolutely no confidence whatsoever.  Unalaq and his kids enter, and Unalaq, who has gone total Bond Villain at this point, tells the whole team his plan.  He wants to free Vaatu from the Tree of Time so he can bond with Vaatu as Raava is bonded with Korra, becoming a Avatar of Darkness and Chaos, in counterbalance to Korra, the Avatar of Light and Peace.  Korra thinks this plan is awful, mostly because she knows enough about Vaatu to doubt he'll ever share Unalaq's body and spirit; he'll consume Unalaq as soon as they're bonded, and nothing will hold Vaatu in check from destroying human civilization.  Unalaq leaves for his big date, telling Desna and Eska to keep the prisoners out of the spirit realm so he can bond with Vaatu.  Korra tries working on them, but Desna loses his shit and shouts out that of course they believe in their father.

Bumi wakes up to see that his new enemy, a Dark Spirit, isn't done with him.  After some completely ineffective punches, and a knife throw that ends up almost killing himself, Bumi literally takes out his flute by mistake and desperately tries a little music, which of course works.  If you don't have strategy, try desperation.

He just wants a little love.  Is that so hard?

Unfortunately, Bumi decides this is a great idea for taking the base at the portal and rescuing his friends.  And who should come thundering up but Naga, the polar bear dog, with Bolin's pet ferret?  Bumi decides that's a sign from the universe that his cockamamie plan is destined for success.  So he infiltrates the base at the portal.

Like Maxwell Smart, but dumber

The Dark Spirits come to him, all right.  But they, apparently, have no taste, and attack Bumi despite the killer show tune medley he delivers.  So, Bumi beats it to the Automatons that Unalaq has at the base, and jimmies himself in there, only to discover the spirits can follow him right in.

Peekaboo!

The Dark Spirits also start the Automaton with their spirit energy, and since Bumi doesn't really know how to operate one, he just starts pulling levers.  The Automaton clumsily destroys the entire base when it throws a lasso that catches on to the antenna tower, bringing the tower down and sweeping it in a wide arc that takes out everything except the center tent with Team Avatar.  Bumi, about to lose the Automaton, ejects his seat, and comes exploding out.  He lands on ice and slides, still strapped in his seat, right into the middle of the tent, declaring his rescue went perfect.  The others are stunned, until Desna and Eska show up.  But Naga has those two covered, knocking them out as she storms into the tent.

Team Avatar doesn't have much time, only minutes until Harmonic Convergence.  They stumble to the portal, and Korra sends Asami back with Ugi and her dad, who is injured.  The plan at this point: Tenzin, Kya and Bumi will leave and find Jinora's spirit.  Bolin and Mako will keep Unalaq away from Korra long enough for her to close the North Portal, preventing Harmonic Convergence and keeping Vaatu locked away for another 10,000 years.  After not being able to promise that any of them will survive, Korra leads them in.

Seriously?  Why is this suddenly a Bond movie?

Unalaq is waiting with Dark Spirits, who attack Team Avatar.  Tenzin and his siblings beat it for the spirit wilds and the search for Jinora, and Korra launches an awesome Avatar attack, driving the Dark Spirits away completely.  

No more Dark Spirits for me, thanks!

Korra rushes to the portal as Mako and Bolin use fire and earth to battle Unalaq.  They are a beautiful fighting team, with Bolin using rocks not just as missiles, but also to create cover.  Mako's fire is all over the place.  Unalaq does some awesome move where he's in the air, then creates an ice slide so he slides down and lands right in front of Team Avatar.

But Korra is too late.  Vaaut mocks her as the planets align, and she is pushed back by the energy in the portals as they bend into the arc of Harmonic Convergence.  The energy from the arc reaches the Tree of Time, freeing Vaatu.

Fuck! Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck!

Unalaq is thrilled, but Korra can only stare with determination at Raava's longtime arch-enemy.

Uh Oh, The Missus - Revolution, Season 2, Episode 9

Tonight, our intrepid anti-and-unwilling heroes get answers to a few burning questions.  Just in time for the end of the first half of the season.  Too bad they don't like the answers.

The episode starts with Team Rachel about to impossibly storm the castle, only find it's Sleeping Beauty's castle.  Instead of a Princess, they find a tunnel.

I'm sure this leads to Candyland...

Rachel continues her nearly unbroken streak of trying to get the group to change course and plans at exactly the wrong time.  She is dead set on finding her Dad, and "rescuing" him from the Patriots.  She spends most of the episode trying to get everyone to turn around and go back the the death-hole they just escaped from.  Neither Miles or Charlie are having it.  Are there a bunch of soldiers waking up around them who will want to kill them? Better stay and find Dad.  Is Aaron in danger?  Better go rescue Dad.  Is Monroe hacking people up and stashing everyone in a basement?  Better fret about Dad and whether he's okay to Charlie.  Is Miles dying?  Better go rescue- what? Miles is dying?!?!?!?!?  Oh, that gets her out of her must-rescue-Dad funk.

Why won't any of you let me make this about me? Why?

As they track Aaron through X-Files type fog, totally uncharacteristic for Texas, they encounter a horde of Patriots also looking for Aaron because of the extremely sick fucker in the wagon.  Who is now visibly sick, but still giving orders.  That armed guys follow.   Just sayin'.  Monroe helps them literally hack their way through soldiers to a hide-hole, then to the school where Aaron and wifey are holed up.  Along the way, Miles has to confess to Monroe that he's dying of some blood-poisoning from a prior hand wound.  Miles makes the colossal mistake of asking Monroe to step up and take some responsibility for peoples' safety once Miles can't.   Isn't that like asking Dice Clay to babysit?  Eventually, they leave, and follow the Patriots to "Stay-Puft".

Aaron spends the episode talking to a kid that only exists in his brain.  The whole thing is wonderfully staged, resembling both the movie A.I. and the children's book The Little Prince.  Little Boy waxes on to Aaron about something called Spring City in Oklahoma, and apparently both the audience and Aaron need to know that it has the second largest ball of twine in the world.  Expect a road trip there in the second half of the season.  What we need to know now, is that the boy claims to be from there, and left to search for his "parents".

Why are you in school?  This is Saturday!

When a healed wifey awakes, and can't see or hear this boy, Aaron panics, thinking he's in Crazytown.  But it's wifey who tells Aaron to hash it out with "Kevin", a blast from Aaron's past, or at least the form the nano tech decided to take for Aaron to see.  When Aaron was turning on and off the power, those ridiculously fast fingers did a lot more.  They also enabled nano tech to make the jump from programmed to self-aware.  Aaron inadvertently created A.I. This A.I. is like Skynet, only worse, because it has only wanted to spend the last six months pleasing Aaron.  So if Aaron, who has always been beaten down, and probably hated everyone who ever bullied him, wanted someone dead, the nano tech gleefully obliged.  If Aaron is hurt, the nano tech brings him back to life.  If Aaron is in danger, the nano tech puts everyone to sleep, and sneaks Aaron out the tunnel.  Aaron is horrified to learn that an all powerful, intelligent technology will kill.  For him.  Since nano tech is ridiculously small, can be breathed, exhaled, eaten, go through you and anywhere else, this A.I. is actually all-knowing.  Aaron is horrified to learn that nano will make all his fantasies about killing come true, and tells the nano to stop killing and leave him alone.  "Kevin's" last service to Aaron is tell him that the Patriots have arrived at the school.

Neville gets himself and Boy Band assigned to Roger, who bristles a little at the whole thing, especially when Neville reminds him his dead traitor wife brought Neville and Boy Band into Allenford's life.  Long story short, when you finally give up on Mrs. Neville, Julia, there she is.  And with another man, just so Neville can be even more shocked, and feel even more betrayed.  Neville handles it with the slow walk-by, so Julia can see what she's been missing.  Turns out, she did miss it.

I totally trust you now after that quickie

After handling business, she tells him that she thought he was dead, which is a pretty good assumption. Especially considering he thought she was dead.  But while she married someone else, Neville plotted revenge.  Julia calls his revenge and raises him a coup.  I think.  Not sure what she's got planned.  But Boy Band gets to see his mom again, with Neville making sure Boy Band knows this is all on the hush hush.  Three episodes ago, he openly disdained his mom for her prior affair.  But his eyes on seeing his mom again give him away.  He'd kill dad if it meant having his mom back.  In a second.

There are a series of scenes where Aaron, wifey, Charlie, Monroe, Miles and Rachel dodge and try to hold off Patriot soldiers.  Monroe and Charlie have the decency to stick to fighting,

The only characters doing what they're supposed to be doing

but Miles and Rachel decide to re-hash out a confab they had 22 fucking years ago, just so that Miles can confess that he lied, and actually, he really loves Rachel and she's the only girl for him.  Then he passes out, leaving Rachel to shoot at soldiers trying to bust down the door and try to get Miles to tell her he loves her again.  Aaron and wifey get caught by Dr. Brain Tumor, and it goes poorly, with Dr. Tumor insisting that Aaron cure him dammit.  Aaron tries to tell Dr. Tumor that it's not that simple, even though it actually is, or was, until Aaron told "Kevin" to get lost.  So Dr. Tumor shoots wifey in the chest, thinking that it will trigger Aaron's healing powers.

 Look, I just want you to cure cancer, not end world hunger.

Dr. Tumor triggers a lot more than he did the night before, and when Aaron changes his mind about "Kevin",  it results in first Dr. Tumor going up in flames, then all the other Patriots.  But "Kevin", is also not the same obedient servant he was last night.  "Kevin" is confused- why does Aaron change his mind, with death as the result?  Why didn't Aaron want him to heal wifey again?  Aaron suddenly remembers that's an option.  But "Kevin" has realized that maybe being a creator doesn't make someone a god, and he's outta here.  So wifey stays dead.  Besides the obvious plot point that Aaron fulfilled by choosing death over life, the scene also represents consequences.  Wifey stays dead because that's the only way Aaron will leave, and hopefully go to Oklahoma.  Aaron's choice also frees up Team Rachel to leave without being followed.

But what about Miles?  Does he die just as he admits the truth to Rachel?  Will Monroe ditch the group and try to find his kid?  Why would he do something so pointless, when there's the second biggest ball of twine in the world next door in Oklahoma?

Hollywood Ending - Legend of Korra, Season 2, Episode 11

Team Avatar is reunited!  Heroics from Bolin save everyone and free Mako from jail.  Varrick's dastardly plans are foiled, but he still gets his way!  Asami has her soul crushed.  But everyone toughs up for the trip to the South Pole.

Korra, Tenzin, Kya and Bumi return to the Air Temple where Tenzin's family has been waiting for them.  But Tenzin's wife doesn't see Jinora until Tenzin lifts her up, carrying her down to the ground to a panicked mother.  Tenzin and Korra both blame themselves, and Tenzin vows to bring her back.  Kya places Jinora in healing waters, bending to keep Jinora functioning without a spirit in her body.

Guess we suck as babysitters....

Bolin visits Mako in jail, wanting to share his own happiness from fame and money.  Maybe Bolin is trying to cheer Mako up.  In true completely obtuse Bolin fashion, he emphasizes how different their lives are now.  Mako reminds Bolin he was framed by Varick because he figured out Varick was attacking Asami's business and the Southern Water Tribe Cultural Center.  Bolin thinks that using his crazy story as an insanity defense is the way to go.

I'm doing great... guess you're not

Mako wants to speak to Asami.  Bolin reminds Mako that Asami is too depressed to visit, as jails remind her that her dad is a criminal.  So Mako warns Bolin to be careful and watch for Varick to launch something at the premiere of Bolin's biggest mover yet that night.  Bolin dismisses Mako's warnings, certain Mako is crazy.

Who could resist seeing this?

The premiere starts off fantastic, with Bolin arriving with his co-star Ginger, and taking some nonsense from the announcer as proof that he and Ginger are dating, which Ginger brushes off, calling Mako "as dumb as the rocks you bend".  Smart one, that Ginger.  President Reiko arrives with his wife, enduring Varick's shameless ass-kissing, and reminds Varick that his propaganda films won't change his mind- he still won't send Republic Forces to the South Pole.  Varick, behind Reiko's back, is confident that tonight will definitely convince Reiko to intervene.

I'm sure my evil kidnapping scheme will go just as planned....

Chief Beifong has her police officers patrolling the premiere, including the two most incompetent cops ever, more obsessed with eating than patrolling.    However, said cops don't notice when a tiny boat with about four bad-looking guys in Northern Water Tribe army costumes comes to a rest just under the stadium, and four water benders take the detectives easily.

Ginger, Bolin, and Asami are all sharing a box in the theater which is conveniently also the pro-bending stadium with a giant movie screen on one side.  The "mover" is classic early talkies cinema, full of obvious cuts to conceal effects, and a convoluted Doomsday device that Nuktuk, Hero of the South, must stop.  Nuktuk arrives in Republic City and gets enthusiastic help from the President, in an obvious propaganda technique.  As one of the animal characters, played by Bolin's ferret, dies in the movie, Bolin leaves, getting air on the railing that has a view of the dock.  Asami comes out to comfort him, wanting to make sure he understands his ferret isn't really dead.  Bolin, typically, knows the ferret will live as it comes back to life at the end of the mover.   Polarity shifts, and all that.  No, Bolin is really upset that members of Team Avator have all gone separate ways, and he misses his friends.  Asami reminds Bolin that people change, that things are different these days for everyone.  Then Asami goes back in, leaving Bolin to notice the empty little boat just underneath the stadium.

Bolin discovers the two worst detectives ever stuffed in a locker, and he immediately realizes that Mako is right.  Off he goes to the President's box in the theater, to fight off the water benders trying to kidnap President Reiko and his wife.  Each move in his fight matches the movie.  Bolin uses his earth bending to defeat the kidnappers, as Nuktuk "bends" water in the mover to defeat the evil Unalaq's armies.  Bolin and his attackers leap down onto the pro-bending platform, with the water benders accessing the water underneath and Bolin using the clay discs from the platform.  Once awesome move has Bolin building two towers of discs, and slamming them together as a wall from a blast of water.  Bolin, after much heroics, defeats the attackers as Nuktuk defeats Unalaq in the mover, and Bolin becomes a real life hero.  Bolin demands one of the water benders tell him who hired them- he admits it was Varick.

Bolin defeats three water benders all by himself!

Varick realizes the jig is up too late;  Beifong is right there in Varick's box to arrest him.  Asami congratulates Bolin and Ginger is suddenly practically married to Bolin.  Asami wants to get Mako freed from prison.  Bolin, at first, thinks he should have time with Ginger first.  Reiko and Beifong are relieved to have caught the culprit behind the bombing and piracy, with Beifong praising Mako for figuring it out first.  They're all about to head over to jail to free Mako when a sky bison interrupts all the action.  Enter Korra!  With Tenzin!  The band's back together!

Korra tries to tell Reiko Unalaq's real plan, using Harmonic Convergence to free the spirit of dark and chaos and ruin the world, and tells him the time has come to commit his troops.  But Reiko, after a moment of thought, still refuses.  If the world will be in chaos, he says, his troops must be in Republic City to protect the people.  Tenzin is angry, but Reiko holds firm.  So Korra settles for going with everyone else to jail to free Mako.

Sure, the show's about you.  But that doesn't mean it's ALL about you.

Quick editorial:  I like Reiko.  Sure, he seems like a real pain in the ass.  But notice, he wants his troops to protect his constituents, not Korra.  He's  immune to shameless propaganda.  He's a hard ass, but he praises Mako after Beifong admits he was the real detective here.  I look forward to watching his character working with hot-headed Korra.

At jail, Mako is brought out to all his friends, Chief Beifong, and the two most incompetent detectives ever.  Beifong offers Mako a detective position, and fires the two louses he'll be replacing.

The band's back together!

Korra, not to be outdone, kisses Mako full on the mouth, to Asami's mortification.  Mako is terribly confused as he reminds Korra they just had a fight, and is embarrassed when she admits she's lost chunks of her memory, and was their fight bad?  Considering that they broke up, you'd think Mako would say, "Do bears shit in the woods?"  Instead, he can only manage a weak "no".  So Asami continues to look heartbroken.  The team struggles to find a solution to having no army, until they consult…. Varick!  Who else would know how to deal with an impossible situation that the Father of Impossible Situations.

The original Club Fed

Varick, the King of Being Ready for Anything, is luxuriating in his own private, opulent jail cell with his trusty assistant Ju Li to care for him in prison.  Admitting that Varick industries built the prison, so he made his own private luxury cell, just in case, for himself, Varick tells the group he's done a lot for them.  He told Korra that Unalaq was up to no good, he made Bolin famous, he helped Asami's business after almost ruining it, and he put Mako in jail.  Oops, those last two were bad.  Oh well.  Varick's an ideas man, not a details manager, and his latest idea is for Team Avatar to take his battleship, named Ju Li after his battle-ax assistant, to the South Pole.  Team Avatar... together again... and away!  Off to the South Pole, Jinora, Unalaq, and Vaatu!

Korra is excited to finally be helping her dad, even if it is without an army.  Tonraq has decided to recapture his city from Unalaq's forces.  They start the attack from the top of a hill bordering the city, ice-boarding down to the city, but are ambushed by Unalaq's dark spirits.

One way to snowboard

Tonraq isn't fazed, he proceeds to finding Unalaq, and the two waterbenders duke it out, arguing over the past while they do.  But Unalaq is just more powerful than Tonraq.  He easily deflects Tonraq's best shot, traps him in a pillar of ice, and knocks him out.  Then Unalaq gleefully pronounces that this will be Korra's fate, too.  All that optimism on the Ju Li... all totally wrong.  They'll arrive in an even more hostile land than they even thought.

So... close....

Here's a Story, About a Man Named Blake - Walking Dead, Season 4, Episode 6

What a blessed relief to be free of Rick, even if it only lasts two weeks.  We always knew Phil Blake had two sides - the side that built a homey, kind town and the side that killed the townspeople and torched the place.  We all saw that that Michonne putting down his zombie daughter set Phil off on his rampage.  So now, we see, in slow-mo, the reverse.  A little girl, still alive, starts to bring the old urban planner out in Phil.  Or should we call him Brian now?

While still Phil, he spends the night in his own tent with Martinez and Shump (where did the tents come from??? were they brought along for the invasion of the prison???)  vegging, watching the campfire like it's an infomercial, oblivious to the woman zombified in a floor-length dress who trips partially onto the fire but still crawls to him.  Martinez shoots it, shaking his head at Phil.  And, perhaps, formulating a plan.  Because Phil does finally sleep in his tent, and wakes up to find Martinez, Shump, their tents and his awesome white truck gone.  All that's left is some old, empty gas station and some huge freight truck.  Which Phil magically finds the keys and diesel fuel for so he can bust through Woodbury's old gate and torch the entire town.  He leaves Woodbury burning to warm the zombies wandering through it.

We hear in a voice-over, that Phil has been wandering for two weeks. His questioner sounds suspiciously like Carol, but she'd never question him so kindly, or refer to the zombies as "monsters".  Later, we realize he's answering questions from a 6 or 7 year-old girl.  Phil passes an old warehouse/barn structure covered in a record of dead friends and some seriously confusing directions for someone named Brian Heriot.

Kind of like updating your Facebook status, but more end-of-the-worldish

Phil claims to have come from a town of survivors ruined by the guy running it... and conveniently not revealing he's the guy who ran and ruined the town. We see his beard and hair grow, for 2-3 months. We see him on a small town street barely move to dodge a walker, leaving it on the sidewalk while he meanders past.  As he passes by a charming little apartment building, he sees... someone in the window, looking back at him.

The first thing to get his attention in months, Phil slowly searches the building, to find laundry hung to dry in a hallway, and two sisters, Lily and Tara, living with their elderly, sick dad and one of the sisters' daughter, Megan.  Lily is wary but willing to trust Phil, while Tara is all bravado and threats of violence.  Dad, hooked up to an oxygen tank, asks for an extremely dangerous cigarette, while Megan hides behind Dad's lounger.  This family makes it a little more obvious in every scene that they are pretty helpless, despite the fact that Tara has a little spirit in her.  Maybe she reminds Phil of Andrea when he reassures her and the others he's no threat, letting them have his gun and retiring to an old lady's former abode to not eat the dinner Lily gives him.  He calls himself Brian.... Brian Heriot.

He later wanders over to return his plate, and has a confab with Dad after carrying him into bed.  Turns out, neither Lily, an RN, or Tara have any idea how to bring down a zombie, which I blame on a lack of George Romero films today.  Dad asks him if he'll go upstairs in the still zombie-infested apartment building and enter his old friend's apartment and retrieve said friend's real backgammon set, pleading that it will help the kid.  Phil has not yet spoken to this kid, who is still shy of the new guy, but Phil silently plods upstairs and through the man's place, finding the backgammon game easy enough, along with a new gun.  He also finds the old buddy, a paraplegic who took off his fake legs, and shot himself in the bathtub, turning because it wasn't a head shot.  Phil examines the bathtub, maybe reveling a bit in the fact that so many died so horribly, and he's still alive.  Phil returns to the apartment, informing Lily that only headshots work, a little confused at her ignorance.  I mean, she worked at a hospital, right?  Before sleeping on a couch in his new abode, he takes the last piece of his old life, the picture that sat on his Woodbury mantle of him, his wife, and his daughter.  He can't bear to look at himself, or maybe he can't even recognize that guy anymore, so he folds over the photo to cover his face.

Oh, how the mighty have jumped off a cliff...

The next day, Lily asks for another favor.  When the "crap" hit the fan, Dad managed to grab his daughters and granddaughter in the truck he drove for some regional junk food company.  Lily grabbed all the oxygen tanks she could from her hospital before they left.  So, they've been living on beef jerky and hoarded oxygen, both of which are running low.  Dad doesn't have long before the cancer kills him, so Lily asks if he'll grab just one tank from the nearby old folks' home, which his daughters are too scared and too inexperienced to try.  We don't see Phil agree, just see him trudge into the nursing home, lock a zombie in his room, dodge a zombie in a wheelchair, and try to bring back a whole cart of tanks.  He gets ambushed and only manages the one tank in the end, but even that's enough.

Phil rests back in his place while Lily offers to clean and dress his wound, a cut/scratch conveniently on his forehead for leaning in close to Phil.  Phil silently accedes, like he's done for the whole episode.  When little Megan walks in, he looks at her like she's an oasis in a desert.  When Lily has to leave for a minute, Megan starts her interrogation, and we realize it was her voice we heard at the beginning.  She wants to know how Phil lost his eye, and doesn't buy his pirate story.  So Phil explains that he was trying to help someone, but that someone got killed by the same person who took out his eye.  Phil leaves out a lot, obviously, but it's hard to tell whether it's because he wants to lie to trick these people, he just doesn't want to delve into his past sins, or whether he really has just mentally left that life behind, and now can't even remember.  He and Megan pinky swear that she won't tell anyone, and she doubles down by very cutely crossing her heart.  Phil aint' going nowhwere now, even if he doesn't realize it yet himself.

The next day, Phil has managed to shave and trim his hair, no longer looking like Charles Manson, and looking alot more like the old Phil, the one that built Woodbury and really dug Andrea.  He entertains Megan by teaching her that you can lose a lot of pawns and still win at chess, and she makes her king a nifty eyepatch, so he knows she likes him, too.  But the lesson is cut short when Megan is called to say goodbye to Dad, and Phil sneaks in just in time for Lily to tell him Dad's been dead for a while.  Like, long enough to turn a while.  Phil turns to kill-zombie mode, especially when a grief stricken Tara is almost zombie-Dad's first victim.  Phil, to everyone's panic, beats Dad's head in with the oxygen tank.  I'm sure Mike Brady would have done the same thing.  Phil buries Dad, with Lily coming out to verify, really, we're all infected?  And Phil realizes just how lost these women are, though they're not actually stupid or weak, just sheltered from never leaving the apartment building.  Tara is grateful, perhaps realizing it's not a good idea to pretend to be a bad-ass anymore.  But Megan is hiding behind the chair again, and it visibly breaks Phil's heart.  Maybe sick of the man he was before, maybe realizing he's found a new family, he burns the old family portrait and throws it out the window.

When Phil decides to leave the next day, Lily informs him they're leaving with him.  Phil is reluctant to take them, especially considering that Megan is still scared of him, but he seems happy enough to drive Dad's old truck with Tara in front, optimistically telling her things will be fine, which we know from Jim's death is the biggest lie of all.  They sleep in the back of Dad's old truck, and Lily decides she's had enough flirting, they're doing it already, and Phil seems fine with doing anything that will help him forget the travesty of a human being he really is.

The next morning, the truck won't start, so Phil good-naturedly tells them to take their packs and hike along the road, which they do until Tara, in a move that only a total city-slicker could do, trips while walking down a road and sprains her ankle.  Lily helps her up while Tara loses it over her own clumsiness, and Megan hangs back with her little Lilac Bunny.  Phil sees a pack of about twenty zombies, shuffling out of the forest just beyond the bend in the road, and shouts to them to leave the packs and run into the woods.  Tara and Lily freak, drop everything, and Lily helps Tara into the forest as fast as the bum ankle will let her.

Megan, still scared of Phil, hesitates to run to Phil, but does just in time for him to snatch her up, run into the woods, pass Tara and Lily, and fall right into a zombie-catching trap.  There are three in there, and Megan is completely helpless, so Phil suddenly remembers he's a homicidal maniac and literally beats a head into a gun barrel stuck in the ground, then rips out one walker's throat, bashes another head, and then turns back to the walker with the ripped out throat, picks up some old gigantic bone sitting around, and literally uses the bone, with Megan watching, to rip the walker's head off  from the mouth up.

Oh yeah, that's right, I love killing!

Megan is terrified, but Phil just scoops her up and crosses his heart as he promises to always take care of her. It's official, she's Penny's replacement.  But she and Phil have new problems.  There's a ditch to somehow climb out of, and a pissed-off-looking Martinez at the top of it, looking just as unhappy to see Phil as Phil is to see him.  So much for Brian Heriot.

Notes:  we know that this episode takes place 2-3 months after the final attack on the prison, so in the late fall/early winter.  We know from last week that Phil will show back up at the prison next spring/summer, looking ready to do some killing.  So... how will he lose this family, and how crazy will that make him?

Fitz Will Never Know What Anyone Is Talking About - Scandal, Season 3, Episode 6

Watching TV these days is like watching a chess match… that takes months.  Harrison has a past, involving selling cars and someone who can't be let into the United States.  Liv picks someone else over Fitz for a change.  Rowan, for a change, does his best with his daughter.  Quinn has a new toy, and a new playmate.  Ballard and Huck come up with nothing new but some collateral damage.  Abby finally gets her big break in pictures.  Mellie has a snit fit, but keeps it together to lend Cyrus an ear.  Cyrus is smarter than VP religious right-wing nut job lady realizes.  And Fitz, really, has no idea what Liv is talking about.

Liv starts and ends the episode frozen, thinking about her last moments with her mother, who was apparently flying to Europe for a business trip with unconcerned Liv barely saying goodbye.  Liv deals with this by storming off to the White House while her staff wants to know which candidate will they be working for?  Fitz the Terrible, or Josie the Brave (we see how brave later).  Mellie, learning that Liv is on her way, is in victory mode.  Not only are Fitz's chances better, but Fitz totally owes her for getting Liv to come back.  Cyrus is not happy, even though he knows Liv is their best chance at re-election victory.  Cyrus, at least, knows when something is too good to be true.  And… it is!  Liv demands to speak to Fitz alone, and Mellie is so excited she happily accedes to this.  Fitz is totally blown away when Liv wants to know if Fitz was really flying for Project Remington, and maybe not doing some other classified mission.  Fitz doesn't know what she's talking about, and when she persists, he is very adamant that national security and classified info will always trump her.  Mellie gets in the one-liner of the night, reminding Fitz that she literally asked his mistress to come back only for him to ruin his chances of re-election. "I practically rolled your whore up in a rug at your feet", she reminds him, and then storms out.

OMG!  This is the only time I will ever be nice to you!

Decision made, Liv storms back to her gladiators, tell them to put on white hats, because they're working for Josie Marcus, maybe be on the right side of history for a change.  Which goes pretty hard at first, as Josie would rather one-liner her way out of questions than be serious and attack opponents.  Liv has two goals for Josie- learn to attack Reston, and get major money. Josie reminds Liv that people believe in her specifically because she's refused PAC money until now.  But Liv reminds her that those people will be pretty disappointed if she can't even win a Democratic primary because she couldn't buy TV ads.  So Josie puts on the charm for people selling tooth rotting substances, without it doing all that much because she hasn't really won anything except a debate.  Liv gets the idea that they'll do an interview with… Cyrus' husband!  That won't have conflict of interest written all over it!

Cyrus, on hearing that Liv knows about Project Remington and the fact that Fitz wasn't in it, and hearing that Liv is now working for Fitz's possible opponent, has a confab with Evil Dad in which they agree that Evil Dad will deal with Jake Ballard, so Liv's info is cut off, and Cyrus will separate Josie and Liv, so Josie has no chance of finding out herself and using it against Fitz.  Notice that Cyrus is pretty unconcerned that Liv will ever spill the beans about Defiance, mostly because it would send Liv to jail along with Mellie and Cyrus.

Cyrus fulfills his part of the deal by contacting Harrison, dashing debonair lawyer extreme, with a threat:  if Liv keeps working for Josie Marcus, Cyrus will make sure a certain Adnan Salif is allowed into the United States, and apparently Salif will sell cars with Harrison again, or something earth-shattering.  Harrison makes his only favor request ever of Huck: lose Salif's visa application.  No application, no visa.  Huck agrees to do this.  So Harrison thinks he's home free.  To be honest, I don't know why Harrison has to have a past to keep secret or fear - can't he just be normal with a normal past?  Can't anyone on this show?

Cyrus and hubbie have a spat because hubbie won't tell Cyrus what his questions will be, and refuses to ask some suggestions of Cyrus'.  It's half-cute, double-disturbing that the husband of a President's Chief of Staff has a job that's supposed to be non-partisan.  Does the network disclose Cyrus' job every single time his husband does a story?

Meanwhile, VP Sallie Longhorn meets with Bergen, her new political advisor.  After meeting her hubbie, Bergen and Sallie honestly assess him on the campaign trail, with Sallie showing she's a realist. So Bergen gives her a pretty good plan.  When a few right-wing pastors start complaining about Fitz's penis, the White House will no doubt send her to glad-hand these pastors and reassure them that Fitz is a godly man.  Only, Sallie will really meet with these people and line up their endorsements for her.  Flying under the radar, meeting with likely donors and spokespersons (as long as they can get around those pesky IRS requirements) right under Fitz and Cyrus' noses.  It's a great plan, that gets started when Cyrus sees some yokel with a mega-church and a fancy suit complaining that Fitz has forgotten his God, etc.  So Sallie and hubbie are invited to dine with Fitz and Mellie, where Sallie very helpfully agrees to meet with preachers unsure of Fitz, and Mellie finds out that Sallie's husband is touchy-feely.  Mellie, true to form, is never put off or reveals a single thing out of place, but Sallie sees from across the table.  Oh, does she see.  Will there be a war between these two women?  Team Mellie!

I guess there's no commandment barring scheming against your boss

Quinn has been late to work lately, visiting a local shooting range to practice with her new firearm.  The firearm no one else knows about, even, apparently, Huck.  As Huck tries to confront her over her recent lateness, it's obvious that Quinn likes being the person with the secret this time.  Her aim refuses to improve, until a certain formerly-rogue B-613 member suddenly appears with good advice and his ever-present lollipop.  By his second trip, Quinn is approaching him for advice.

My glasses are cooler than yours

Liv's confrontation with Fitz went badly, she decides, because she only has her suspicions, no proof.  So, Ballard approaches an old buddy from Langley, who outright asks Ballard for a quickie at her place, but settles for being his assistant by getting a cockpit recording of the passenger jet Liv's mom died on.  This conversation, stupidly had where anyone could be watching or listening, is watched and probably heard by some shadowy character who reminds me of Smoking Man from the X-Files.  But, as Ballard said, they're digging up dirt on the most powerful man in the world, so nothing could go wrong, right?

Liv, drinking not nearly enough wine, decides to call her dad.  In between flashbacks of how Liv found out about the death of her mother, Liv tries to question her dad about Mom's death.  She only finds out that Evil Dad did not order it.  Whew!

Sallie meets with Preacher Man, who heartily gives Sallie his endorsement, knowing full well she's working with the completely morals-lacking Bergen.  Preacher Man, in his turn, calls up Cyrus to give him Sallie's real plan.  Cyrus can't offer Preacher Man a candidate with a moral backbone, but he can definitely offer Preacher Man a tax break, which Preacher Man is all to happy to take in the name of Jesus.  Halleluhah.  Cyrus and Mellie commiserate that their VP is plotting against them, but Mellie thinks they have a card to play- Sallie's husband is "handsy".  Could an affair totally accidentally leaked to the press be coming?

Josie's interview with Cyrus' hubbie James Novak is about to begin, and it's been set up in Josie's home, which is really a Montana version of a Martha Stewart magazine (I still love you, Josie, even if we decorate completely differently!).  Liv and Abby are furtively checking something out behind them, and Josie wants to see, so they reluctantly show Josie an ad reminiscent of the 3am ad used against Hilary Clinton in 2008, only about 20 times more insulting, because the obviously female hand that will supposedly be unable to deal with foreign leaders is shaking as it won't open a fucking door (is this why guys are supposed to hold doors open for us?).  Josie is incensed.  James starts the interview by thanking her for inviting him into her lovely home, and starts by "asking" her if she's too "inexperienced" for the job.  A little put off by James' openers, Josie starts in with a story about her grandmother.

See, Grandma was a racist, but had the decency not to put it on posters on the front lawn.  So, whenever Josie was dating someone, she'd ask where the guy was from, to see if he was from a Black neighborhood.  Josie points out that this is what code language is - asking a question in a beating around the bush way so you don't have to admit what you're real issue is.  Josie calls out James, reminding him that he, not Josie, chose the home for the interview, and called out his question as code for:  can a woman really be President?  After all, a President has to do really hard things, and we all know that only men can do really hard things, right?  Josie reminds James that her main Democratic Primary opponent has no military experience, much less in a foreign war, as she does.  She literally beats James into the ground for his sexism.  And my straight-girl crush on Josie explodes.

This iced tea is proof that you're a pig  

After the interview, only Josie's "sister" is upset, because she's figured out that the woman in the "ad" was actually Abby (same fingernail polish).  Huck and Abby are totally non-sorry, telling Candice that they'll probably be crossing a few more lines before this is all done.  Cyrus, also not happy, calls the State Department and telling them to approve the visa for Harrison's arch-nemesis.

You can't cross a line when you don't have lines

Ballard meets his lady friend from the CIA in a deserted shipyard with containers forming completely safe, well-lit alleys.  Ballard even lets Shadow Guy from the cafe trail him, badly.  Ballard meets his lady friend just as Shadow Guy takes a gun out and shoots… Lady Friend!  Ballard goes into Lady Friend's bag to find the recording, but only takes out a gun.  Oh, B-613, you scallywags!  Shadow Guy, apparently a friend of Fitz, takes Ballard to the President who once again asks Ballard to back off.  Fitz's jealously over Ballard's affair is pretty obvious, but so is his desperation that no one ever know what Fitz really did that night.

Back at the shooting range, Quinn is hitting her target, obviously pleased.  Charlie informs Evil Dad that the seed is planted and starting to grow.  Evil Dad, closing a personnel file on his latest terminated lady agent, tells Charlie that Quinn is pretty much her replacement.  So no fuck-ups.  Fuck-ups?  On this show?  Unconceivable!

Fitz shows up again, at night, at the apartment of a woman he's supposedly never had an affair with, to find out just why Liv wants to know about Project Remington, and whether Fitz was really in it.  Even after finding out that it means Fitz may have killed her mother, Fitz reminds her that he's forgiven her for rigging an election (really? forgiven her for putting you in the White House?  oh, the injustice!), and tells her he still doesn't know what she's talking about.  Fitz will betray everyone for Liv, but he'll stay true to National Security.  His departure from Liv's is juxtaposed with flashes of Liv's mom leaving for her flight.   As that was the end of Liv's relationship with her mom, is this the end of her love for Fitz?

I'm not getting laid tonight, am I?