Sunday, November 17, 2013

Fitz Will Never Know What Anyone Is Talking About - Scandal, Season 3, Episode 6

Watching TV these days is like watching a chess match… that takes months.  Harrison has a past, involving selling cars and someone who can't be let into the United States.  Liv picks someone else over Fitz for a change.  Rowan, for a change, does his best with his daughter.  Quinn has a new toy, and a new playmate.  Ballard and Huck come up with nothing new but some collateral damage.  Abby finally gets her big break in pictures.  Mellie has a snit fit, but keeps it together to lend Cyrus an ear.  Cyrus is smarter than VP religious right-wing nut job lady realizes.  And Fitz, really, has no idea what Liv is talking about.

Liv starts and ends the episode frozen, thinking about her last moments with her mother, who was apparently flying to Europe for a business trip with unconcerned Liv barely saying goodbye.  Liv deals with this by storming off to the White House while her staff wants to know which candidate will they be working for?  Fitz the Terrible, or Josie the Brave (we see how brave later).  Mellie, learning that Liv is on her way, is in victory mode.  Not only are Fitz's chances better, but Fitz totally owes her for getting Liv to come back.  Cyrus is not happy, even though he knows Liv is their best chance at re-election victory.  Cyrus, at least, knows when something is too good to be true.  And… it is!  Liv demands to speak to Fitz alone, and Mellie is so excited she happily accedes to this.  Fitz is totally blown away when Liv wants to know if Fitz was really flying for Project Remington, and maybe not doing some other classified mission.  Fitz doesn't know what she's talking about, and when she persists, he is very adamant that national security and classified info will always trump her.  Mellie gets in the one-liner of the night, reminding Fitz that she literally asked his mistress to come back only for him to ruin his chances of re-election. "I practically rolled your whore up in a rug at your feet", she reminds him, and then storms out.
OMG!  This is the only time I will ever be nice to you!

Decision made, Liv storms back to her gladiators, tell them to put on white hats, because they're working for Josie Marcus, maybe be on the right side of history for a change.  Which goes pretty hard at first, as Josie would rather one-liner her way out of questions than be serious and attack opponents.  Liv has two goals for Josie- learn to attack Reston, and get major money. Josie reminds Liv that people believe in her specifically because she's refused PAC money until now.  But Liv reminds her that those people will be pretty disappointed if she can't even win a Democratic primary because she couldn't buy TV ads.  So Josie puts on the charm for people selling tooth rotting substances, without it doing all that much because she hasn't really won anything except a debate.  Liv gets the idea that they'll do an interview with… Cyrus' husband!  That won't have conflict of interest written all over it!

Cyrus, on hearing that Liv knows about Project Remington and the fact that Fitz wasn't in it, and hearing that Liv is now working for Fitz's possible opponent, has a confab with Evil Dad in which they agree that Evil Dad will deal with Jake Ballard, so Liv's info is cut off, and Cyrus will separate Josie and Liv, so Josie has no chance of finding out herself and using it against Fitz.  Notice that Cyrus is pretty unconcerned that Liv will ever spill the beans about Defiance, mostly because it would send Liv to jail along with Mellie and Cyrus.

Cyrus fulfills his part of the deal by contacting Harrison, dashing debonair lawyer extreme, with a threat:  if Liv keeps working for Josie Marcus, Cyrus will make sure a certain Adnan Salif is allowed into the United States, and apparently Salif will sell cars with Harrison again, or something earth-shattering.  Harrison makes his only favor request ever of Huck: lose Salif's visa application.  No application, no visa.  Huck agrees to do this.  So Harrison thinks he's home free.  To be honest, I don't know why Harrison has to have a past to keep secret or fear - can't he just be normal with a normal past?  Can't anyone on this show?

Cyrus and hubbie have a spat because hubbie won't tell Cyrus what his questions will be, and refuses to ask some suggestions of Cyrus'.  It's half-cute, double-disturbing that the husband of a President's Chief of Staff has a job that's supposed to be non-partisan.  Does the network disclose Cyrus' job every single time his husband does a story?

Meanwhile, VP Sallie Longhorn meets with Bergen, her new political advisor.  After meeting her hubbie, Bergen and Sallie honestly assess him on the campaign trail, with Sallie showing she's a realist. So Bergen gives her a pretty good plan.  When a few right-wing pastors start complaining about Fitz's penis, the White House will no doubt send her to glad-hand these pastors and reassure them that Fitz is a godly man.  Only, Sallie will really meet with these people and line up their endorsements for her.  Flying under the radar, meeting with likely donors and spokespersons (as long as they can get around those pesky IRS requirements) right under Fitz and Cyrus' noses.  It's a great plan, that gets started when Cyrus sees some yokel with a mega-church and a fancy suit complaining that Fitz has forgotten his God, etc.  So Sallie and hubbie are invited to dine with Fitz and Mellie, where Sallie very helpfully agrees to meet with preachers unsure of Fitz, and Mellie finds out that Sallie's husband is touchy-feely.  Mellie, true to form, is never put off or reveals a single thing out of place, but Sallie sees from across the table.  Oh, does she see.  Will there be a war between these two women?  Team Mellie!

I guess there's no commandment barring scheming against your boss

Quinn has been late to work lately, visiting a local shooting range to practice with her new firearm.  The firearm no one else knows about, even, apparently, Huck.  As Huck tries to confront her over her recent lateness, it's obvious that Quinn likes being the person with the secret this time.  Her aim refuses to improve, until a certain formerly-rogue B-613 member suddenly appears with good advice and his ever-present lollipop.  By his second trip, Quinn is approaching him for advice.

My glasses are cooler than yours

Liv's confrontation with Fitz went badly, she decides, because she only has her suspicions, no proof.  So, Ballard approaches an old buddy from Langley, who outright asks Ballard for a quickie at her place, but settles for being his assistant by getting a cockpit recording of the passenger jet Liv's mom died on.  This conversation, stupidly had where anyone could be watching or listening, is watched and probably heard by some shadowy character who reminds me of Smoking Man from the X-Files.  But, as Ballard said, they're digging up dirt on the most powerful man in the world, so nothing could go wrong, right?

Liv, drinking not nearly enough wine, decides to call her dad.  In between flashbacks of how Liv found out about the death of her mother, Liv tries to question her dad about Mom's death.  She only finds out that Evil Dad did not order it.  Whew!

Sallie meets with Preacher Man, who heartily gives Sallie his endorsement, knowing full well she's working with the completely morals-lacking Bergen.  Preacher Man, in his turn, calls up Cyrus to give him Sallie's real plan.  Cyrus can't offer Preacher Man a candidate with a moral backbone, but he can definitely offer Preacher Man a tax break, which Preacher Man is all to happy to take in the name of Jesus.  Halleluhah.  Cyrus and Mellie commiserate that their VP is plotting against them, but Mellie thinks they have a card to play- Sallie's husband is "handsy".  Could an affair totally accidentally leaked to the press be coming?

Josie's interview with Cyrus' hubbie James Novak is about to begin, and it's been set up in Josie's home, which is really a Montana version of a Martha Stewart magazine (I still love you, Josie, even if we decorate completely differently!).  Liv and Abby are furtively checking something out behind them, and Josie wants to see, so they reluctantly show Josie an ad reminiscent of the 3am ad used against Hilary Clinton in 2008, only about 20 times more insulting, because the obviously female hand that will supposedly be unable to deal with foreign leaders is shaking as it won't open a fucking door (is this why guys are supposed to hold doors open for us?).  Josie is incensed.  James starts the interview by thanking her for inviting him into her lovely home, and starts by "asking" her if she's too "inexperienced" for the job.  A little put off by James' openers, Josie starts in with a story about her grandmother.

See, Grandma was a racist, but had the decency not to put it on posters on the front lawn.  So, whenever Josie was dating someone, she'd ask where the guy was from, to see if he was from a Black neighborhood.  Josie points out that this is what code language is - asking a question in a beating around the bush way so you don't have to admit what you're real issue is.  Josie calls out James, reminding him that he, not Josie, chose the home for the interview, and called out his question as code for:  can a woman really be President?  After all, a President has to do really hard things, and we all know that only men can do really hard things, right?  Josie reminds James that her main Democratic Primary opponent has no military experience, much less in a foreign war, as she does.  She literally beats James into the ground for his sexism.  And my straight-girl crush on Josie explodes.

This iced tea is proof that you're a pig  

After the interview, only Josie's "sister" is upset, because she's figured out that the woman in the "ad" was actually Abby (same fingernail polish).  Huck and Abby are totally non-sorry, telling Candice that they'll probably be crossing a few more lines before this is all done.  Cyrus, also not happy, calls the State Department and telling them to approve the visa for Harrison's arch-nemesis.

You can't cross a line when you don't have lines

Ballard meets his lady friend from the CIA in a deserted shipyard with containers forming completely safe, well-lit alleys.  Ballard even lets Shadow Guy from the cafe trail him, badly.  Ballard meets his lady friend just as Shadow Guy takes a gun out and shoots… Lady Friend!  Ballard goes into Lady Friend's bag to find the recording, but only takes out a gun.  Oh, B-613, you scallywags!  Shadow Guy, apparently a friend of Fitz, takes Ballard to the President who once again asks Ballard to back off.  Fitz's jealously over Ballard's affair is pretty obvious, but so is his desperation that no one ever know what Fitz really did that night.

Back at the shooting range, Quinn is hitting her target, obviously pleased.  Charlie informs Evil Dad that the seed is planted and starting to grow.  Evil Dad, closing a personnel file on his latest terminated lady agent, tells Charlie that Quinn is pretty much her replacement.  So no fuck-ups.  Fuck-ups?  On this show?  Unconceivable!

Fitz shows up again, at night, at the apartment of a woman he's supposedly never had an affair with, to find out just why Liv wants to know about Project Remington, and whether Fitz was really in it.  Even after finding out that it means Fitz may have killed her mother, Fitz reminds her that he's forgiven her for rigging an election (really? forgiven her for putting you in the White House?  oh, the injustice!), and tells her he still doesn't know what she's talking about.  Fitz will betray everyone for Liv, but he'll stay true to National Security.  His departure from Liv's is juxtaposed with flashes of Liv's mom leaving for her flight.   As that was the end of Liv's relationship with her mom, is this the end of her love for Fitz?

I'm not getting laid tonight, am I?

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