The Winter of Our Discontent - Game of Thrones - Season 5, Episode 10

I wish I could feel sorry for Cersei.  And, I can't help wondering why Lancel didn't have a similar penance.  Anyone remember if he had to do this walk?  But, Cersei has gone to so much trouble to earn our hatred.  She's spent most of the series keeping her illegitimate children on the throne.  She held Sansa prisoner for 2-1/2 seasons, giving her to Joffrey to torment.  She took every opportunity to undermine and execute her own brother.  Plus, there's the whole incest thing.  It might not creep Myrcella out, but no one in Westeros knows what recessive genes are.

Cersei's story didn't have to turn out this way.  In the season's premiere, she boasts of being promised to a prince, which was Rhaegar, Daenerys' oldest brother and son of the Mad King.  Tywin had hoped to join the Lannisters to the Targaryens, decades ago, but Dany's father, the Mad King, turned him down flat.  Instead, Rhaegar was married to Oberyn's sister Ellia Martell, in a pretty conventional medieval-type marriage.  Ellia turned out not to be Rhaegar's love, but instead of preferring Cersei. Rhaegar fell hard for Lyanna Stark, Ned's sister, leading to the revolt that killed the Mad King and most of Dany's family. Instead of marrying her prince, Cersei was married off to Robert Baratheon after he killed Rhaegar and was crowned king. And we all know how their marriage went.

Both the man Cersei planned on marrying, and the man she did were in love with Ned's sister; is that why she's hated the Starks from the beginning?

GOT, once again, has a first; a scene so shocking, the locals almost didn't allow it to be shot; it was filmed in a conservative Catholic country, where public nudity is a scandal.  Maybe the fact that it was an atonement scene, with an adulteress being shamed by peasants, rotting food, spit, and whatever else was handy, made the local authorities okay it, anyway.  The whole walk is certainly made as awful as it can be; septas roughly wash her, then give her what will one day be called a pixie cut.  To be brought before the people of King's Landing in a dirty shift is bad enough.  But the septas rip the shift off of her.  And one septa will follow her the whole way, ringing a bell and yelling "Shame" all the long way home.

I'm sure this will go totally fine

At first, the crowd parts for Cersei and her dishonor guard.  The Sparrows are there to keep people from beating Cersei, and they do their job as well as they can in a city that would love to tear Cersei apart.  The first insult begins once Cersei is swallowed by the crowd.  The crowds quickly escalate, pulling out every insult for a woman known to humanity.  Peasants flash her, throw food, spit on her.  Her bare feet bleed from the stone walks.

What's sad about this scene is that it's based on history; medeival France used this punishment. What's sad about this scene is that little has changed for women. It's easy to feel nothing for Cersei; but what about today's teen girls?  One photo, taken even without her knowledge, can be posted and go viral, making her the butt of strangers' misogyny for weeks following.  What about women flogged or murdered for adultery in countries like Saudi Arabia and Afghanistan?   This scene is important for Cersei; it hardens her against the people of King's Landing as never before.  But, this scene is important for us; who are you to judge other people's sex lives?  And why do females bear the brunt of the public shaming?

Cersei's arrival home is greeted by Maester Pycelle, whose face makes it clear he's no longer her servant, and her Uncle Kevan, now acting as Regent.  Cersei may be home, and may be able to beat the rest of the charges, but who will want her anywhere near the Small Council now?  Tommen's absence confirms that her shaming has reduced her to powerlessness.  Kevan doesn't say it, but he doesn't look happy to see that Cersei has turned the capital over to religious fanatics that could depose Tommen.

There's no word on whether Margaery  or Loras made bail in the Westeros style; but Qyburn is at least there with a blanket and a new Kingsguard, which indicates that they've heard about Meryn Trant.  The newest knight keeps his helmet on, since the little we can see indicates the guy has severe health problems.  But he's a real gentleman, lifting Cersei off her ruined feet, and sworn to defeat all her enemies.

He's a fitting replacement for Meryn Trant, who Arya dispatches using one of the Faces.  Meryn's taken completely by surprise, and covered in blood before he can even get a weapon.  So, Arya decides to make sure Meryn knows that he's being cruelly murdered by a little girl, over a Braavosi water dancing instructor he probably doesn't remember.

Totally not used to his victims fighting back

Arya returns the Face, content that the first name on her list is finally dead; maybe she has plans for taking down the others, but Jaqen and the Waif confront her.  She's broken the rules, and she's in big trouble.  Arya is ready to maybe be grounded, or denied TV privileges for a week, but the Waif makes it plain that a vial of poison awaits.  Instead, it's Jaqen who drinks it, collapsing while Arya screams for the only protector she currently has.  Instead, it was another Game of Faces, with Jaqen appearing behind her in the Waif's place, and the new body turning out to have Arya's face.  Remind you of a certain lightsaber duel in a cave on Dagobah?

As Arya panics, Jaqen informs her that using the Faces to break the rules is a great way to poison oneself, which Arya finds out for sure when her vision goes black, and we see her eyes fail.  Will Arya be kicked out of the House of Black and White, blind to boot?

Tyrion ends the season well; he's left with Missandhei and Grey Worm to run Meereen and work on his High Valyrian.  On Dany's terrace, he ponders how he's been left to govern a city he literally just arrived at in the name of a Queen facing outright revolt who's been flown who knows where, and that he's now caretaker to two very pissed off dragons.  But it's all okay, because Varys shows up, and tells Tyrion that at least Meereen will be able to keep no secrets from him.

  The Bromance continues

Tyrion watches Daario and Jorah, reunited but not really trusting each other, ride off to follow Drogon north, in search of Dany.  Last week, we saw Dany fly away from danger, from death, from her troubles.  Well, this week we see that Drogon has flown her into to even more danger and trouble.  She makes it worse by wandering away from her only protector, so she can be surrounded by the first Dothraki khalasar that rides up.  The shouts and riding in circles around a lone prisoner remind one of the cheesy and insulting Indian scenes in Westerns of the 1960s.  We know that Daario and Jorah are good enough trackers to find the ring she leaves behind; will Drogon find her first?

Let's hope so; she's got dirty laundry and needs shampoo

Melisandre wakes to thawing icicles and puddles.  She all but beams as she contemplates how Stannis' sacrifice and her god have come through, and she'd like a little recognition in Stannis tent.  But, he's even more taciturn than usual.  Stannis, more than ever is Richard III, both from history and Shakespeare's tragedy.  He's accused his nephews of being illegitimate; he wants their throne for himself, and he's prepared to lose everything on one field of battle.  Richard III, unlike Stannis, enjoyed the throne for a brief time; but he was a terrible ruler.  Stannis would probably have been even worse; since he murdered his innocent daughter by fire, half his men snuck away during the night.  Since no one raised an alarm, the guards were no doubt with the deserters.

I'm sure losing everything so you can fight one battle is a good idea

Another soldier has even worse to show him: Selyse's body.  If Stannis is Richard III, Selyse is Lady Macbeth, consumed with the grief and guilt over where her ambitions for her husband led them.  Like Cersei, I can't feel anything for her; she was Melisandre's biggest fan.  She was stoic as she burned her own brother to death at the beginning of Season 4.  And she betrays no emotion as her lifeless body hangs from a tree I don't know how she climbed in the dark and snow.  Stannis certainly doesn't show much emotion; he's already lost his daughter for a lousy thaw.  She's just one more loss.

Stannis also betrays no emotion as he finally reaches the field outside Winterfell, only to be met by the Boltons' much larger army, led by Ramsay.  Ramsay's wolves make short work of the burning stags, and Stannis is left to wander alone in the woods until he's finally so exhausted he has to collapse.  Where he's found by Brienne.  Only one thing could get her to abandon her post, just as Sansa took her only chance to light a signal.  The threat of getting caught in a battle plus the promise of justice for Renly???  It's too much, and Brienne snears a little at Stannis as she acts as judge, jury, and would-be executioner.  Stannis has no regrets, but he's ready to go; he's lost and he's just content he went down with his sword in his hand.  I'd love to think Stannis is dead; but modern TV has taught me one thing well:  no one's dead until you see the fucking body prepared for burial.

Seriously, it's a flesh wound

That includes Reek and Sansa.  Reek just might get the name Theon back after pulling a Darth Vader and throwing murderous Myranda down a shaft at Winterfell.  She kind of had it coming, gleefully informing Sansa that Ramsay plans on mutilating her, saving her reproductive organs for last.  Reek's been able to put up with whatever Ramsay wants to do; but Myranda's just the kennel-master's daughter, and Sansa's made it clear servants don't give the threats.  We hear the awful crunch sound as she hits stone, but we don't see what Sansa and Reek will hit after they peer down over the outside wall, grasp hands, and jump together into the snow.  Are we seeing the beginning of a great friendship?  Will Brienne, already wandering in the woods Sansa and Reek will no doubt make for, find them?

It's Ramsay, we don't even have to debate it

Book note:  Sansa is supposed to still be in the Vale, promised actually to Robyn Arryn's heir.  Ramsay is married off to a Northern Girl who was Sansa's lady companion in King's Landing, and was willing to pass herself off as Arya Stark.  The girl's real name is Jeyne Poole, and Ramsay was just as awful, if not more, to her.  The show does get right that Reek helps Jeyne escape by jumping over Winterfell's outer wall to the snow below.

Other book note:  the seige lasted much longer, as the snow trapped everyone gathered for Ramsay's wedding at Winterfell for weeks.  The nobles left in the North fell to suspecting each other when a serial killer (not Ramsay, surprisingly) struck.  Stannis was just stuck in the snow; the Boltons had a murder mystery and hostile nobles on their hands.

I swear, last book note:  Shireen and Selyse end the novel at Castle Black, waiting for another Night's Watch castle to be made livable for them.  Shireen is her usual kind self; but Selyse is bitchy about everything and everyone hates her.

Dorne ends well, there's even a raunchy joke about how Bronn just can't resist the bad girls.  And when I say it ends well, I mean it ends with someone dying.  Of course it would happen just after Myrcella and Jaime have a heart to heart about who her dad really is.  I have to say, Myrcella takes confirmation of the whole incest/bastard thing much better than I thought; her whole claim to live in a palace and marry a prince rests on a lie. And what does she think of the body count over her family holding onto the Iron Throne for dear life?  We probably won't know, as it becomes obvious that Ellaria risked her own life with Tyene's poison to kill little Myrcella.  Will Trystane and Bronn figure it out, risking more violence between Lannisters and Martells?  Did Bronn manage to scrounge any poison antidote before leaving Dorne?  Does Prince Doran Martell know about this?   Ever since the season premier, with the forest witch prophesying that Cersei's three children will die, we've wondered which kid will get it.  How long will it take for Jaime to realize he sucks at protecting people?

Two down

Sam ends the season well, getting a free trip to Oldtown for himself and Gilly.  The plan is for him to leave Gilly with his parents in Southeastern Westeros, near Oldtown.  Oldtown is literally the oldest city of Westeros, built by hands now unknown.  It's also the site of the Citadel, where Maesters are trained and chained.  Sam plans on studying there, and coming back as Maester for Castle Black.  And he admits to Jon that he may have broken a vow.  About sexy time.  Notice how, instead of marching Sam through Castle Black naked while ringing a bell, Jon just congratulates Sam on getting some nooky before Armageddon.  I repeat that; instead of shamed, Sam is congratulated, even though he literally fucked a wildling.  Heck, Lord Commander Snow even waves Sam and Gilly off.

And they get out just in time.  Davos shows up, and not only does he want supplies, he wants what few wildlings Jon managed to bring back from Hardhome.  Jon is in the process of refusing him when the only other survivor of Stannis' army rides in, to Jon's complete disappointment.  Melisandre is back! (One wonders how Melisandre would have fared on the walk of atonement.  Would she have scoffed at the judgement of infidels, condemning them to darkness as she passed by?)  And for once, she's speechless.  She can't even tell Davos that Stannis and Shireen are dead- he figures it out by her dreadful silence.

What will Davos and Melisandre do?  Stay for the real fight with the dead?  Stannis' bid for the throne is completely finished, which means Davos is guilty of treason.  And he's already at The Wall, so why not take the black? The Wall will need him, and soon.  Like, that very night soon.

Jon is left at night time with his very disappointing mail, and no one to complain about it with.  Sam is gone; Ghost is somewhere, we haven't seen him for two episodes.  Which, makes it the perfect time for Ollie to lead Jon right into his enemies' trap.  Was Jon really fooled with Ollie's excited news?  It seems he was, because the effigy he finally finds is the first blow.  The rest are just cuts.  In a scene that comes right out of Julius Caesar, Jon's brothers stab him one by one, declaring it's for their own survival as they give Jon wound after bloody guy wound.  It's Ollie's betrayal that hurts most of all; Jon probably saw something of himself in the boy.  But Ollie is as hardened and unrepentant as Alliser Thorne, and his blade finally finds the left side of Jon's chest.

The brothers remaining walk away, silently, leaving Jon in the snow.  The last shot of the season is Jon's body, unblinking, motionless, and spilling dark red blood all around.

Last thought in Jon's head?

He looks dead.  And Kit Harrington has stated Jon's dead.  And the show's producers have stated "Dead's dead".  Is everyone lying to cover up a last-second rescue?  Martin, the books' author, is mum about Jon's fate entirely.  Davos isn't going to be so blase about this death.  And Melisandre is right there in the camp, and fully aware that her god can bring the dead back to life.  Will Jon, with his last thought, enter the mind of Ghost, and spend his remaining days hunting and terrorizing his killers?

This finale, unlike others, creates more questions- 2 to 3 characters are very likely dead, but we don't know for sure.  Reek and Sansa may find themselves trying to flee Winterfell with broken bones.  Arya can't even see, for fuck's sake.  Tyrion has hope for the future, and Cersei is even more committed to being a cunt than ever.  So, go Lannisters?

Shireen Needed A Dragon Too - Game of Thrones - Season 5, Episode 9

I'm going to address the plotlines a little out of sequence.  For the record, I get why they ended with Dany riding Drogon for the first time.  It's from the books, and sets the stage for a very interesting episode in Mereen next week.  Most 9th Episodes of the GOT season end horribly; this one put the shocking death squarely in the middle, and let us end on a, literally, soaring note.

One thing to note is how female-dominated almost each plotline this week is.  Only the Night's Watch plotline is only guys talking.  And even in that one, the orphaned daughters of Karsi the Brave One-Episode Character are front and center, under Tormund's personal protection.  Maybe they're there because Alliser Thorne, asshole that he is, won't let children die.  He repeats his opinion that Jon's kindness towards the defenseless of the Free Folk is suicidal, but who opened the tunnel to Jon's suicidal move?

Samwell tries to console Jon, basically with a Free-Folk version of the Saving Starfish story.  It doesn't work once Jon looks over his men and Ollie, obviously resenting every single new mouth to feed.  Especially when Wun-Wun the Giant enters. Come on, guys, Jon brought back a zombie-destroying giant.  Show some fucking appreciation.  Ollie is unmoved, even after the sight of so many children who lost their home just as horrifically as he did his.  In case you still haven't figured it out, the season is preparing us for whatever betrayal Ollie's got in mind.

The season is also preparing us for Arya crossing another name off her Revenge List.  Meryn Trant is a member of the Kingsguard, and one of his least appealing acts was when he and some fellow "knights" arrived to arrest/kill Arya near the end of Season 1 on Cersei's orders.  Remember Sylvio Forel, her "dancing instructor", sending her away, reminding her to always pray "Not today", to the one god?  Well, it's time for Meryn Trant, one of the first names on Arya's list, to pay.

Arya quickly forgets the "Thin Man", the crooked, non-paying insurance agent at the docks, once she sees Meryn arriving as Mace Tyrell's escort to Braavos.  Mace Tyrell is convinced that a good bottle of wine, some poetic complements and some impromptu singing will warm Tycho Nestoris' heart and get a smaller bill from the Bank of Braavos; doesn't Westeros know the Bank is already backing Stannis?  Probably not, or Cersei would have sent someone to make the Bank fear her, instead of sending Mace away so she could imprison his children.

Arya eventually follows Trant and his junior guards to Trant's favorite Braavos brothel, where she slips inside, once again selling seafood.  The managers want her out, but her seafood's a hit, getting her access, if she's quiet enough, to a private chamber where Trant's penchant for teenagers makes even the Madame uncomfortable; the girl Trant eventually brings to his room, is obviously not even a prostitute yet.  And, Madame is ordered to get Trant another one for tomorrow night.

Arya's chased away, but she's seen enough.  Now, not only does Arya need to kill him, but we need Arya to kill him, too.  Back at the House of B&W, Arya's simple lie to Jaqen H'ghar actually goes uncaught, or at least, unpunished; he even turns her lie into a joke.  And then gives her a body to wash.

A girl does indeed have work to do

Maybe it's time to ask why the House of B&W feels any need to kill outside its door.  While we know Jaqen is an assassin, and that he is training Arya to become one, why does the House of B&W need them?  Plenty of people show up every day to become part of their basement art installation.  Is there a dogma of balance that Arya hasn't been instructed in yet?

The Dorne plotline is all but sewn up.  Prince Doran Martell has a tea party.  He scolds Jaime for sneaking into his house and trying to whisk Myrcella away.  Jaime comes clean about the threat and the locket Cersei received.  Myrcella confirms her locket has been missing, and everyone decides she can go back to King's Landing and get it, as long as she brings Trystane, his curly locks, and his gorgeous robes with her.  Oh, and Bronn gets smacked in the face.  But Doran is totes nice after that, offering him soup. 

Doran also has Ellaria Sand, in full view of the Sand Snakes, re-pledge allegiance to Doran.  She cries while doing this, mostly because her dream of revenge for Oberyn is dying and even veiled threats to Jaime can't console her.  Doran also puts the fear of a Dornish spear in her, telling her this is her freebie.  Next time, she gets a traitor's death.  The Sand Snakes watch, probably mindful the warning's for them as well.  They're too busy playing the Slapping Game to notice much else.

All's well that ends well and this could have been a Shakespearean comedy.  Will Episode 10 turn it into a tragedy?  Because the idea of Trystane on the Small Council is ridiculous.  And Jaime and Bronn can't get this season back if it turns out to have just been a wacky bromance for them.  Will we at least get to see their reactions when they return to the shitshow that is King's Landing?

Now, let's get to the kid burning!  Ramsay ends up keeping his promise to his dad, sneaking twenty men into Stannis' camp and starting a few fires.  He knows what to burn too, including the food.  Melisandre looks equal part thrilled and sad at a horse galloping away while engulfed in flames.  As Ser Davos is going over the damage with Stannis, Melisandre has found Selyse and the look the two women give Stannis and Davos leaves Stannis with no doubt what they want, and Davos with a sense of danger.

Stannis sends Davos away shortly after, and Davos knows something is up.  He tries to argue to stay, then he tries to argue to send Selyse and Shireen to Castle Black with him.  He parts from Shireen as if she is his daughter.  He gives her a little toy stag he carved himself; he tells her that he took her reading lessons as a tribute to his son, killed at the Blackwater Bay Battle; and he kisses her forehead before leaving her, all clear signs that Shireen isn't living past this episode.  Why don't we pay attention to these signs? 

Because we think the show won't actually kill a little girl.

Juxtaposed with the images of warm, candlelit tents for the nobles is the sight of Southern soldiers without gloves in freezing temperatures.  The cold looks like their number one hatred, and the cold alone, with only horse meat to stave it off, looks like reason enough for them to mutiny any second.  Is this why Stannis does it?  He won't go back; he can't, yet, go forward.  Melisandre's magic killed Renly, and it kind-of killed Joffrey and Robb (Balon Greyjoy is still alive).  Is it desperation by a march in weather he never planned for?  Stannis has never presented himself as True Believer like his wife; he didn't care if Shireen converted to his new god; and he has a tendency to whine if he feels the Lord of Light isn't coming through fast enough for him.  

But, he has gone through with every awful idea of Melisandre's, and maybe it's her he's devoted to.  When he finds Shireen in her tent, reading up on Targaryen history, the two discuss the risks of civil war, and destiny.  Basically, about 160 years before the series' events, two Targaryen half-siblings duked it out over the throne when their father died. Rhaenyra Targaryen, daughter of the first wife, was the chosen successor; but she was off giving birth on Dragonstone, and her half-brother Aegon II had himself crowned instead.  Rhaenyra was also crowned by her supporters.  They went through dragons, fellow Targaryens, and a bunch of noble houses.  Eventually, they both died and Rhaenyra's son married Aegon II's daughter.  Rhaenyra's son ruled as Aegon III, and the joining of the sibling's lines settled the matter.  Their civil war, which was the beginning of House Targaryen's long decline, is called the Dance of Dragons.

Stannis seems actually interested in who Shireen favored for the crown. But, Shireen is like Prince Doran; why make a choice that brings about a horribly destructive war?  Stannis gives her a bit of wisdom that is the deadest giveaway ever that Shireen's about to die; sometimes, you have to choose to become who you were meant to be.

This means, for Stannis, watching from right outside his tent while his daughter is led, hands shaking in the cold while she innocently clutches her toy stag (reminding us, that, yes, Stannis is killing a fucking kid).  Poor Shireen, she doesn't realize until she's in front of the pyre, with Melisandre awaiting her and telling her that she'll get there when she gets there.  The soldiers show no hesitation in dragging her to the pyre and tying her up, despite the sound of her little voice crying out for her father, and then her mother.  Melisandre shows no sorrow as she lights the pyre.  

And Stannis shows no emotion as he watches with Selyse.  At first, Selyse is devoted to the cause.  But it only takes one screaming plea from Shireen to break her religious resolve.  Shireen is the only adult to openly oppose this; Davos is already gone.  I don't know what's worse; the sound of Shireen screaming for her parents before being horribly murdered, or the silence once she's consumed by the flames.  Stannis' men either look down out of shame or can't look away out of morbid dread.  Stannis finally gets the burning he was denied at the Season Premiere.  Melisandre gets her King's Blood sacrifice.  

Shireen's end echoes two other great child-sacrifice stories:  Isaac and Iphigenia.  Isaac is almost sacrificed at Yahweh's command, with his Dad Abraham placing him on the pyre and about to slash the kid's throat.  Right before, Isaac was helping his dad set up the sacrifice, still completely oblivious to the impending doom, even asking his Dad why they didn't bring a lamb to burn?  Abraham dodges the question by stating that Yahweh's going to provide one, and Yahweh ends up doing that after stopping Abraham at the last second.

Is Stannis' choice different?  Is Stannis' god different?  Yahweh specifically and directly demanded that Abraham sacrifice his son.  The Lord of Light, aka R'hllor, doesn't really care whose royal blood is spilt; Shireen is picked because she's the only one eligible.  Yahweh calls the thing off, telling Abraham it was just a test.  R'hllor, the Lord of Light, has no use for tests, only blood.

Still a fucking cunt

Iphigenia was the daughter of the Greek King Agamemnon. When Dad insults Artemis the Goddess, Artemis demands the sacrifice of Iphigenia so Agamemnon can finally get his ships to sea and invade Troy.  Agamemnon tricks Iphigenia into coming to him, but he eventually has to admit that he's going to sacrifice her for his war.  Iphigenia balks at first; but she finally agrees to be killed, as it's the only heroic thing she would ever be allowed to do in Ancient Greece.  Stannis tricks Shireen, too; but her screams at the end indicate she had much bigger dreams.  Shireen wants to be a hero, and when she tells her dad that she would love to help him, his face breaks a little and our hearts break a lot, because she doesn't know what she's agreeing to.

Will Davos get to find out the truth?  How could it be concealed, happening in the open and Melisandre completely unashamed of anything she ever does?  Will Davos still support Stannis?  Or, will it just be too much?  Davos has made it clear that he isn't just loyal to Shireen; he clearly likes and respects her more than he does Stannis, and maybe it's the chance to be her Hand that he's in it for.  Shireen, like Dany, didn't want to be constrained by the old choices.

Which is why Dany looks absolutely crestfallen to be opening the Games of Bloody Death in Mereen.  Her mood doesn't improve when Hizdahr zo Loraq shows up late, claiming to have been making sure everything's in order, including his eventual betrayal of her.  Dany is resigned to watching more bloody fighting, and she's even more sickened by the fighters' claims to be doing it for her glory.  Hizdahr's insistence that not only must she watch, she also has to start each fight with her own hands, leads to the slowest Royal Hand Clap Ever, which is greeted by hysterical cheers from both former masters and slaves.  It's not as rabid as a World Cup match, but maybe they just need some face paint.

Notice: only Grey Worm is missing- is he still recovering?

Dany is as horrified by the local love of The Games as she is by The Games; she still has no use for Hizdahr's argument that traditions deserve respect for the simple fact that they're popular.   Hizdahr does win in his bet on the larger fighter with Daario, but Dany, Daario and Tyrion are all committed to the idea that Hizdahr must be shown as the untried courtier he is.  Daario unabashedly amuses Dany by simulating his fighting skills on Hiz; Dany openly dismisses his philosophy; and Tyrion gives us, probably, his most classic burn yet.  When Hiz asks if the war-scarred Tyrion is okay with the fighting, he replies that he's seen enough of it to know it's not a leisure activity.

That leads to Hiz showing he supports death and cruelty if it leads to greatness, so Dany points to the just-beheaded "athlete" now bleeding all over the arena floor in front of her.  Hiz sticks to his point, that traditions are great because they outlive us and produces awesome positions of power for awesome people like himself and always will.  Tyrion doesn't even bother hiding his disgust when he tells Hiz that good ol' Tywin Lannister would have been his BFF.  Hiz goes back to the Games, not even aware that Tyrion just delivered an insult.

It's a great conversation, so the characters can suss out their feelings for each other and their current situation.  Daario and Hiz both like The Games, Dany and Tyrion are disgusted.  Hiz loves traditions, as does everyone else in that arena.  Dany and Tyrion think that aristocrats should maybe encourage better behavior rather than bloody and morbid spectacles.  Dany threatens that one day, she may burn down Mereen instead of saving it, and now Hiz cares about human life.  Dany says dying for her crusade is a good way to go; Hiz says the fighters in the pit are willing to go, because it's on their terms.  Tyrion complements his eloquence, but insists that good words can still be horribly wrong, to Dany's appreciation.

The whole thing becomes moot when the next match brings Ser Jorah, who we knew would be here today, but Dany obviously didn't.  Tyrion hates the idea of watching him slaughtered today, too, but Dany visibly shakes as she bravely claps her Royal Hands.  Hizdahr may be her fiancee, Daario may be her lover, but Jorah is her heart. He literally believed in her when almost no one else did.  And she hates sitting there watch him fight in the arena out of love for her in a fight that already fills her with disgust.

Lucky for her, Jorah manages to defeat both his opponents, the second after a cute somersault move in the dirt. The crowd is livid that all the local talent won to a knight from Westeros; Dany looks like she has no idea what to do next, especially when Jorah suddenly decides to yank a spear from the ground and throw it at her.  Daario pushes her out of the way, only to see the spear land in the Son of the Harpy behind them.  And a bunch more masked men appear in the stands.  So, now there's a third fight plotline.

The Sons of the Harpy immediately start slaughtering the audience, commoner and nobleman alike, and Hiz stands, proclaiming that he knows a way out.  Was this whole thing so he could appear a hero?  Maybe not,   A Son immediately stabs Hiz in the chest repeatedly, and while he writhes in agony, Jorah holds out his hand, for Dany to gently take, so he can whisk her away.  Daario follows, and Tyrion only stays long enough to grab a dagger, and rescue Missandhei.  Hiz is left to, hopefully, die.

It's not the hand with Grayscale, is it?

Dany, Jorah and Daario find the way out blocked, and all five of our heroes regroup together in the middle of the arena, perfect for being surrounded in.  There's a moment where everyone just needs to breathe heavily, and Dany needs to make her peace with dying.  She does after she and Missandhei join hands, friends to the end.

A semi-familiar screech interrupts everyone, and Drogon appears as a flying black streak inside flames.  He's a fearsome warrior, and we can see how a herd of them, all flown by past Targaryens, could have taken over Westeros from seven Kings three hundred years ago.   But there are so many spears, and a few have landed in his back.  He's still going, the spears just seem to piss him off, but it's not hard to see that he could be overwhelmed, and soon.

Dany looks with a mother's love at Drogon as she calls out to him, and gently steps right up to Drogon.  She yanks out a random spear; he turns and shrieks at her, but no flame swallows her up.  He just wants to vent, literally.  Dany weathers this calmly, without a sign on her face of what dragon breath must smell like, and Drogon calms down, letting himself be petted for once.  But a new spear hitting him ends their Beauty and the Beast/King Kong moment.

Mommy, hear me scream at you!

As the fighting continues, Dany decides it's time to go.  She's the one character who gets to fly away from danger, who gets to mount a dragon, chant "Vla" and feel Drogon gain speed and then soar away.   We see her on Drogon's back, holding on easily, enjoying a smooth flight from the hell below.  It's a scene straight from the books, one we've been waiting for.  And it's everything we wanted; Dany claiming another bit of her traditional, yet radical destiny.  Tyrion's face as he realizes that sometimes good does triumph, that Dany is for real.  It's not until we see all the faces Dany has left behind that a few important questions pop up, like: how the fuck are they going to get out of there?  And where is Drogon taking her?

Oh, who gives a fuck, let's just fly!

The Iceman Cometh - Game of Thrones - Season 5, Episode 8

Okay, so some interesting conversations happened.  AND THEN THERE WAS AN AWESOME ZOMBIE BATTLE!  Cersei licked dirty water off a dirty stone floor.  AND THEN THERE WAS AN AWESOME ZOMBIE BATTLE!  Roose tries to explain proper seige strategy to Ramsay.  AND THEN THERE WAS AN AWESOME ZOMBIE BATTLE!  Sansa took her pain and anger out on Reek, learning her younger brothers were alive in the process.  AND THEN THERE WAS AN AWESOME ZOMBIE BATTLE!  Tyrion and Danaerys tested each other for intelligence and loyalty and human decency.  AND THEN THERE WAS AN AWESOME ZOMBIE BATTLE!

Okay, we'll spend a little time on the conversations, more because of what was implied.  Cersei is right where about 90% of the audience hoped she'd be since Season 1.  The Septas (basically, nuns) are trying to slap and thirst a confession out of her.  The one who interviews her has no response to Cersei's mixture of pleas and threats.  Nothing is wanted from Cersei but a confession.  Even Qyburn, her only visitor, gently nudges her that way.  But, a confession is the only thing Cersei won't provide anyone.

Couple of interesting notes:  Tommen has cut off all contact with anyone who could advise him.  Has Tommen realized how useless he is?  With Cersei charged for everything, including conceiving Tommen through incest, he's basically a lame duck king.  If Cersei is convicted, Uncle Kevan will need to whisk Tommen away from King's Landing.  Best-case scenario for Tommen: he spends his days at Casterly Rock.  Worst-case:  a mob gets him and delivers mob "justice".

Qyburn informs Cersei that Pycelle has basically abandoned Cersei, probably out of spite for all her insults to him.  Kevan is coming to take her place, which means that no one expects her to be vindicated soon.  Indeed, no one seems to want her to be vindicated at all.  No wonder that spilled water on the floor looks so good.

Roose briefs the defenders of Winterfell on his strategy for defeating Stannis.  Basically, he'll just let Stannis and his army die in the North's Winter.  Roose points out that they have months of food, proper fortifications, and soldiers used to the cold.  There's no real reason to even fight them, and Roose is totally okay with digging out their corpses years from now when Spring finally comes.

Ramsay is bored with this idea.  And, we all know that Ramsay needs something to do.  Ramsay wants to literally strike at Stannis, leaving his well-defended castle for the snow and cold and a fight while Stannis still has an army.  Roose tries to patiently explain that it's a stupid idea, but Ramsay offers to only need twenty fighters.  Roose only takes the bait when Ramsay sells it as a message to any other possible invaders.

Neither man knows that Littlefinger is probably in the Vale right now raising an army that will also march on Winterfell, and something tells me that he has no intention of making sure the Boltons keep Winterfell or that Stannis wins it.  Soldiers of the Vale are from mountains that are almost as snowy and cold in winter, and won't balk at the weather.  They're battle-hardened and Littlefinger has earned the submission of their lords.  And Littlefinger plays to win.  Ramsay is sure he'll win; Roose is sure he'll win.  Stannis is pressing forward even as battle looks worse.  Will Littlefinger let Baratheon and Bolton weaken each other, and seize Winterfell for his own?  My guess is he wants Sansa to be a widow and free to marry him.  He's already negotiated to be the Warden of the North if he wins; and he's demonstrated he wants Sansa as his eventual prize.

Speaking of Sansa, she's getting dressed and patiently waiting for meals now, a sign that she intends to keep on going until some other idea for escape comes to her.  You and I know that Brienne is still waiting, but Sansa may suspect her way out abandoned her after so long without a signal and the coming Winter.  Reek explains his newest betrayal with the news that no one escapes Ramsay.  To try to is provoke him into retaliation.  Does Reek think he's doing Sansa a favor by advising her to simply accept Ramsay's cruelty?

Notice:  both Qyburn and Reek counsel Cersei and Sansa to comply with the unthinkable.  Notice:  neither woman gives in.  Was this all women had back in the Dark and Middle Ages?  Their only allowed defiances were these small ones.

While arguing over just why Reek is such a shitty person, Sansa manages to pick open one of Reek's equivocations and gets him to admit he never killed Bran and Rickon.  He doesn't realize it, but he's just given Sansa a reason to live, and some secret knowledge she can use, if she can figure out how and when to use it.  Keep in mind, Sansa doesn't realize that Ramsay and Roose already know the younger Stark boys are alive.  She has a good card, but she doesn't know all her opponents' cards yet.

Dany and Tyrion face each other in Dany's throne room, Jorah standing to the side and enduring hearing about himself and what a desperate wretch he really is.  It breaks him, but it also breaks Dany to send away someone who she relied on so completely for so long.  She does it on Tyrion's advice, after hearing him unwittingly tell her something she foolishly learned the hard way.   While Dany tries to cow Tyrion into proving himself as an advisor, he reminds her that he's going to have to decide whether she's worth advising.  He makes it clear that she's racked up some impressive wins, but they've only made him curious, not convinced him to serve her.

It unsettles her that this criminal from Westeros, from a family that should be begging for her forgiveness, is on the fence about her.  Later, Tyrion finally gets some wine and he and Dany can relax and discuss how they've both resolved not to be their fathers' duplicates.  He tries talking her out of taking the Iron Throne; he reminds her her work in Mereen isn't done and isn't likely to be done anytime soon.  

Dany is still convinced that the common people of Westeros want her to return.  Tyrion humors her, only to point out that the common people, if she does has their support, aren't enough.  Tyrion advises by asking questions.  Does your hoped-for strategy work where you've tried to apply it? When the look on Dany's face tells him he's got a point, he reminds her that the rich, though bastards, are needed to really secure a realm.

 He runs through the noble houses of Westeros, pretty sure only the Tyrells will support her.  He leaves out House Martell of Dorne, but they would likely support her- Dany's eldest brother was married to a Martell, and the poor woman was the cruelly murdered Ellia that Oberyn tried to avenge.

Dany doesn't dismiss the nobility of Westeros.  But she describes them to Tyrion as the problem that she feels she will finally solve by taking the Iron Throne.  Tyrion is a little surprised- is Dany plotting to destroy every noble house, even ones that might support her?  Well, she was fine with killing the Masters of Astapor.  And killing off the noble houses will remove the most troublesome part of ruling as a monarch.  But, can a crown effectively govern each region after removing that region's long-time lord?

AND THEN THERE WAS AN AWESOME ZOMBIE BATTLE!  It starts innocently enough, with Tormund openly beating the Lord of Bones to death so he can call for a meeting with the elders and the elders will actually show up.  Lord Commander Jon Snow makes his case, and offers dragonglass (obsidian) daggers as a gift in exchange for taking his already-generous deal.  The Free Folk basically get what they wanted in the first place, as long as they'll send fighters to end the armies of the dead to the Night's Watch.

The lone giant, maybe the last of his kind, sulks in a corner.  I can't blame him for not trusting the Night's Watch, although he looks tormented by the fact that he knows there's no hope for him North of the Wall.  The Thenn leader, scarred and bald (once again- it's fucking cold and NO ONE is wearing a hat) just gives Jon ugly threats.  Only Karsi remembers what the original goal was, and just can't believe that they'll get it despite losing the war and her male relatives anyway.

In the end, Tormund defends Jon, telling them that he helped Mance Rayder die a quick death instead of the fiery torture Stannis wanted.  Calling the leaders of Westeros "Southern Kings" as if they can have the South and nothing else, Tormund talks up Jon.  Little advice: maybe it's not a good idea to admit that Jon is as pretty as a girl after he's just been accused of sucking Jon's cock.  But otherwise, it's a good speech that convinces Karsi, though not the Thenns or the giant.

The dragonglass daggers, stupidly, are left behind in the cottage with only Dolorous Edd to make sure only Free Folk coming along get them.

The lackluster evacuation starts.  Karsi gets her daughters on a boat, and promises that she's coming right behind them with the elderly, a sure sign she won't survive the episode, especially when she gets a long, last look at her daughters floating away.  Tormund isn't as worried at the small number of evacuees as Jon, saying he needs patience with the Free Folk, and that winter and death will bring more of them sooner that Jon's words can.  They both seem resigned to slowly moving people until dogs start barking.  Every dog.

The Free Folks are in their only known town of Hardhome, a settlement built out of logs.  There's a couple buildings, a couple docks and a log gate that stretches between two mountains.  The log gate only guards a small portion of the whole thing, with Free Folk camped out outside the gates.  Their dogs are their only warning system, and it's too late.  Jon and Tormund watch as a brown dust storm starts from the surrounding mountains.  The Thenn leader wanders to the open gate, ordering it shut as soon as he sees a brown whirlwind advancing through the camp outside, and Free Folk running away from it.

Jon and Tormund know it's the dead right away, making more wights.  And we know the fate of the Free Folk locked outside when the gate is finally closed.  But the Thenn can't help watching for the dead to attack, which he gets close up.  The wights immediately storm the wall, punching thru holes between the logs, trying to climb under, trying to climb over.  Jon wastes time looking to the top of the mountains at the edge of Hardhome, making out four riders.  Four Horsemen, bringing the Apocalypse.

The Free Folk respond with archers and the brutal violence they've always relied on.  But that wall isn't going to hold back an army of bloodthirsty dead.  Jon and the Thenn scramble to find the dragonglass daggers that Edd weirdly left behind when the building he and giant were in is attacked.  And it's here that we see the White Walker Warrior come for both fighters.  The Thenn goes down quickly, his weapon actually whacked apart easily by the White Warrior.  Jon tries to get back his daggers, but Lord Whitey decides to take his time killing Jon.  Jon loses Longclaw, his Valyrian steel sword, and tries another.  Lord Whitey easily hacks it apart.  Jon stumbles away, managing to grab Longclaw back, and looks as amazed as his enemy when the Valyrian steel holds against his spear.  Longclaw easily hacks Lord Whitey apart with one strike, making Jon the luckiest bastard in Westeros.

Edd finds Jon after he's won, and the two witness the final invasion of Hardhome.  With wights literally jumping off the mountain and into Hardhome, to rise and storm the place, and the log gate finally collapsing, it's time for the few remaining fighters to desperately run to the dock and the last boat.  Karsi has gone down, her heart and spirit broken by children converted into wights, one of whom looks like one of her own daughters.  A few look like they've been dead a while, while a few are new.  And all of them look hungry.  Karsi is swallowed by a heap of them, biting her to death.

Jon and Tormund and Edd and a few other unnamed fighters manage to row away, but stop rowing once away from shore to watch the lone giant slowly walk into the bay, toward their waiting ships.  They can also watch the last few humans of Hardhome be viciously killed by wights.  The shoreline quiets down, until no more killing is needed.  No more humans remain.  Hardhome is wiped out.

One figure emerges, walking calmly along the dock Jon and Co. just left.  While the last survivors float just out of his reach, and you are screaming at Jon to fucking row, Jon and Tormund and Edd can only watch in horror as The Night's King simply extends him arms, raising all the last kills of Hardhome from death, to rise with pale blue eyes.  The shore is still so quiet that you can hear the sound of waves and wind as the camera pans out to see an entire shoreline covered in wights.  The Night's King can't wait to see Jon again, even with Jon's Valyrian steel sword.

Row, you stupid fuckers, row!!!!

Who is the Night's King?  This article is a handy guide.  Last time, it took a Stark and a Free Folk King to defeat him.  Enemies why this are why Starks are always preparing for Winter.  With a world more concerned about a fucking sword-chair in King's Landing, what hope does a decimated Night's Watch and untrained, undisciplined and almost-wiped-out Free Folk have?  Little known fact:  Brienne of Tarth is carrying, possibly the only other Valyrian steel in the North, Oathkeeper.  She's also not far, just outside of Winterfell. Will she eventually join the fight of the millenium?

Because this battle showed just what the great fight of this story will be.  Even Littlefinger's long-game threat to Westeros pales (sorry for the pun) in comparison.  A non-human foe, with a past of evil, horror and death, threatens all of Westeros.  And he's coming soon.  Every other plot thread seems weak now, after a foe even the Thenns feared doesn't even let Jon get in one lousy evacuation.  The only other characters who seem at all concerned about the coming War of Night are Stannis and Melisandre.  And both are basically pinning their hopes on Stannis becoming king of Westeros first.  Maybe Wintering at Castle Black is where Stannis should be.  If Stannis can kill Ramsay Bolton before heading back to save all of Westeros, will he be everyone's favorite for the throne?