Cy has decided to take a breather along Olivia's running route. Which he somehow knows. Someone is starting to act like Daddy Pope, but he's not done. Cy is quietly bitchy, blaming his sniping on his new no-meat diet, which has been enforced by every service professional in his life. Olivia takes their side, pointing out that living has its advantages. She'll want to video herself eating a burger and email it to Cy after their conversation.
You're the kind of friend I can blackmail
Cy's next target, after calling all the people required to care for him fascists, is Olivia herself. No call, no email, when she returned? Didn't she owe him that? Why does everyone go on about what Olivia owed them? He's not the last in this episode, either. Cy then goes on to request a favor, which Olivia flat denies. Then Cy tells her it's a job, and to check her bank balance, because she'll have to deny working for the White House when the White House has already paid her. Oh, and Cy will call the IRS. Which Olivia scoffs at. Remember, this woman has a sympathetic Daddy Pope who will not let his little girl get audited. Plus, she has Huck to alter anything the IRS might not like seeing, anyway.
Cy then decides to intrigue Olivia with a challenge. A married couple from New Mexico has skipped their flight to D.C., which was supposed to bring them so they can be Fitz's guests of honor at the State of the Union. This couple's lives were irrevocably altered from gun violence, and they've been the Gabrielle Giffords and Mark Kelly of Scandal-world. Fitz wants to honor them as he introduces gun control legislation. This is a Nixon-goes-to-China-moment for Fitz's presidency and the United States. And James and Lisa Elliot from New Mexico are not going to fuck this up for Cy.
When Olivia points out that this is Cy problem, not an Olivia problem, Cy plays his best card. Fitz himself. What if Cy told Fitz that Olivia was calling for him everyday, sitting in her apartment pining away for Fitz? Maybe Fitz would resist that siren song, but Cy and Olivia both know he's not strong enough to count on that. So... Olivia wants Fitz out of her life so much she's going to work for Cy again. Cy half-heartedly apologizes, while blaming vegetarianism for the whole situation.
And it's a terrible situation. James Elliot is a bona fide war hero / badass who escaped Taliban torture by hiking barefoot over mountains. He returned to the United States to a hero's welcome, including trips to elementary schools where he met Lisa Elliot, who has her own hero's story during a school shootout. Saving kids by hiding them in lockers, carrying at least one kid out herself to safety, and then being shot herself. Didn't stop them. They attended the funeral of every kid she couldn't save, and then had a fairy-tale wedding, full of publicity and their new cause: gun control. Quinn can't hide how this whole scenario has entranced her.
Olivia takes all this knowledge to New Mexico where she slips into a very nice apartment occupied by two screaming, brawling animals. James and Lisa Elliot despise each other, both accusing the other of whining about their past traumas. James hates how he basically has to take Lisa everywhere, and Lisa is tired of hearing about the Taliban. James storms off after declaring that torture from the Taliban was preferable to living with his wife. Olivia goes all schoolteacher on their asses, reminding them that their pet issue is on the line. She better check her bank balance to make sure Cy deposited enough money to deal with this shit.
Andrew, the VP from California last seen getting caught with Mellie, is RNC Chair Lizzy Bear's echo in the Oval Office with Cy. Lizzy Bear keeps demanding to see Fitz, who Cy reminds her is not at her beck and call. Andrew is disgusted enough by Cy's refusal to give in on gun control legislation and appointing David Rosen as Attorney General that he huffs and puffs on his way out; Lizzy Bear follows, done with Cy's cavalier attitude to Fitz's party.
Good thing Cy covered for Fitz, who's catching up on work in his limo. Which is parked at the cemetery. He takes a break when a Secret Service Agent lets him know Mellie would like her chips now, please. Fitz, like a soccer mom, hands them over. The Agent delivers them to a, once again, lounging-on-the-grave Mellie. Like the Elliots, Fitz is playing the good, supportive husband to his injured wife. How long until he morphs into James, and they start screaming at how much they hate each other's pain?
The Secret Service Detail isn't 100% effective at keeping the press out; Mellie's picture of reclining against Jerry Jr.'s headstone, in slippers and a robe, makes the front page of every fucking paper. And Abby gets the completely un-enviable job of dodging reporters' questions, mostly about Mellie's mental state. Which Abby tries to spin as not important. The press isn't buying it, with one rebuffed reporter refusing to go down without demanding an answer. When Olivia calls Cy to bitch about the Elliots, she's also watching Abby almost lose the press conference. Cy tells Olivia that the Elliots are still her problem, and motions to Abby to cut the presser short. As Abby walks off, Cy repeats Olivia's suggested talking points to her.
Jake is keeping himself busy by stalking David again. David is on his way to prepping for a Senate confirmation hearing. He tries to fend off Jake's demands for any paperwork on the murders of Harrison and Adnan. David can only give Jake a wishy-washy promise to do what he can before heading over the White House, where Abby prepares him for the grilling he'll receive from the Senators. Even his fellow Dartmouth alum wants to go through every bad day he's ever had. The worst is Senator Al Watson, who reminds David that he quit his original US Attorney's job over his belief that Fitz's first election was rigged.
Remember, David was right about that, and Olivia spent about half a season ruining his reputation, to the point that he was secretly accused of wife-beating. Well, now that whole imbroglio is coming back to haunt Fitz's Attorney General pick. Abby advises David to simply lie about the whole thing, which David does, insisting that he left the US Attorney's office to pursue a dream of teaching high school to students who draw penises on his exams. It's not ideal, but it does spare him for a chance at the AG spot.
Olivia, on her way back to D.C., has given her team chores to do. Quinn is hesitant to approach Huck with their new responsibility, babysitting the Elliots in adjoining hotel rooms when they arrive. Huck tries to ignore her attempts at small talk. So, Quinn tries to tell Huck that they have at least pretend to be a functioning team. Huck gives this the same treatment he gives all directives to develop some social skills.
When Olivia arrives back in D.C., she immediately goes to do something she said she wouldn't be doing: a favor for the White House. Sent by probably Cy to air talking points supporting Mellie's right to grieve in private, she tells America that they don't get to judge. When Abby recognizes the talking point, it results in another angry exchange between them, in which Abby gleefully informs Olivia that Huck and Quinn aren't going to work well together anymore. Besides the whole torture episode, there's also a little matter of a failed romance between them. Olivia, after telling America to leave Mellie's private life private, is concerned that she doesn't know what her employees are doing with their few off-hours.
Fitz pines away for Olivia while watching her earlier performance. Olivia, not watching, is more interested in calling Jake, who is ensconced in his bachelor/super spy pad. Jake tries to get Olivia to admit she's booty calling him; Olivia reminds Jake she doesn't do those things for people not named Fitz Grant. Jake says he's not coming back to boy-toy-land and lets her know his room number. He hangs up so he can get back to his date for the night, the autopsy report for Harrison. Which includes grisly pictures of Harrison's body, including burns I don't remember anyone giving him. And a receipt that has Jake intrigued.
Fitz and Cy have the unfortunate task of interrupting Mellie's celebration of fried chicken on demand. Which is, by the way, worth celebrating. Fitz reinforces that the recent invasion of her privacy was wrong on every level, but that they must respond by putting Mellie in a fancy dress, high heels, jewelry, makeup, and putting her in the Capitol Building for the State of the Union. Fitz sells it as damage control so she doesn't have to hear anymore talk about her "mental state". Mellie can't help giggling uncontrollably. Fitz, honey, do you really think that a First Lady who strolls around the White House dressed for bed and snacking on fried chicken cares what the media thinks anymore?
Cy tries playing the James-is-dead-and-I'm-still-working card. But Mellie dismisses his dead husband. Even after Cy is offended that losing a spouse who completed him in every way could be dismissed. Cy is quiet these days, trying to achieve through prior back-door arrangements what he used to shout for. But Mellie is unmoved, and Cy looks off into space when she stalks off after declaring herself anti-dress and anti-appearances.
Huck babysits James Elliot and Quinn minds Lisa. James doesn't have much to say, mostly asking Huck's opinion on sports, which goes like all casual conversations with Huck go. Quinn honestly tries to mind her own business, only to find herself drawn in to Lisa's beautiful description of Jim's hero days. Maybe Quinn is remembering the early days of her wanting to learn everything Huck knew, before she made a stupid trust mistake, and Huck retaliated. Lisa's nostalgia is interrupted by Huck and James, drunkenly singing an old soldier song.
Quinn takes Huck off into the corridor to berate him for drinking on the job, and it comes out that Huck is still furious at Quinn for tracking down his family and handing them to him on a silver platter. Huck's also mad that Quinn doesn't see the whole torture/tooth pulling fiasco as a learning experience. Sounds like someone just wants free reign to be totally unwell, while other must walk on tip toe around him. Sounds like Lisa and James aren't the only broken couple here. Their reverie is cut short by screaming. James' screaming. Lisa's first attack, earlier in the day, could possibly have been self-defense. But not this one. Not with a corkscrew sticking out of James' thigh. She seems to enjoy his pain. Which is just what a torture survivor needs!
Lizzy Bear plays her version of hardball. Like Cy, she at least apologizes before screwing people over today, and she apologizes for getting and using the picture of David Rosen's totally fake domestic abuse charges. Cy and Olivia's discrediting campaign is biting David in the ass, and he's well aware that he's going down for something Olivia literally made up about him, and was supposed to bury for good. Well, Harrison was supposed to. And he's dead. So, David has only Abby to yell at, reminding her that Olivia leaves collateral damage. Abby has nothing to say to him that he doesn't rant himself.
Cy deals with the whole fiasco by drinking alone at a bar. Where a handsome stranger approaches him. He's kind of the complete opposite of James: tanned, tall, broad in the chest. And not nearly as obnoxious as James. Cy's interest is piqued, but he's still wearing his wedding ring for a reason. What is the reason? Maybe to remind himself that he'll just betray the next man he loves. Mr. Handsome Stranger is gracious, complementing Cy's choice of beverage before respectfully leaving him. Note to straight guys: this is how you behave when women aren't interested. Make a video clip, play it over and over again until you get how it's done.
Olivia has appeared at the Elliots' hotel, and calls Quinn and Huck out to let them know that she gave them one thing to do. One thing to do. And they didn't do it. Quinn blames Huck and gets back inside, hoping she's in time to stop the next stabbing. When Olivia gets Huck to herself, she wants to know about the affair with Quinn. He downplays it. She tries to connect with him, but he won't look at her, and definitely won't let her touch him. The Elliots are stand-ins for so many strained and failed relationships today, and it's not over.
David has decided that he should go see his B-613 files. Seriously, David, if you keep going to that storage locker, Daddy Pope is going to figure out what's there. This time, he decides to use a file he pulls out. A specific file. Specifically, about Senator Al Watson. Involving a specific bundle of cash tucked under a dead deer in his freezer. Watson accuses David of blackmail. David says think of it as David winning. When Watson gives in and publicly endorses David for AG the next day, Andrew and Lizzy Bear are fuming in his VP's office. Is Andrew going to use his office to scheme against Fitz, who got the girl again, and has now sidelined him?
The big speech tonight looms. Abby, in Cy's office, informs him that the Elliots plan on flying home without attending. Cy looks unconcerned. He launches into a moving speech indicating that it's Mellie he's worried about. Mellie will fuck things up by not attending. When he wants the focus on Fitz's proposed legislation, the country will be ruminating on whether the President's own house is in order. Sadly, Fitz is right. The President doesn't get a private life. Neither does the First Lady. Mellie cared about that once. Cy threw away his soul and lost his husband so that his boy could get to this place. And Mellie will ruin it if she can. But, Cy's not worried about the Elliots. Because Olivia's handling it. Literally, he never worries about a problem he's dumped in Olivia's lap, once again reminding Abby that Abby is just not in Olivia's league.
Olivia proves Cy right by proposing the only reasonable solution, and promising that she can deliver it. The Elliots will divorce. They bring up the fact that their whole schtick is that they're a couple. Olivia says bite the bullet on their joint deals for now. Olivia will help them achieve their goals in solo careers. The Elliots slowly realize it's a good deal, and better than the misery she promises them if they stay together.
If you kill each other, please use knives.
Mellie is enjoying her misery and a magazine on the balcony, when Abby quietly sits down next to her. Mellie is amused by her at first, calling her Cy's Hail Mary Pass. She tries repeating her anti-dress stance when Abby snatches the magazine away, and launches into a rapid fire list of reasons why Mellie is being a child. Lots of people lose children. They get, maybe a few days or weeks to grieve. Then they have to go back to work. Yes, being the First Lady is a job, even if it is the most pointless and degrading job a rich woman can have.
Mellie seems on the fence, realizing that maybe Abby is right when Abby plays her own awesome card- the Jackie Kennedy card. Her husband, if Mellie will recall, was shot in the head right next to her. And, after finding out that her husband was dead, she didn't even change her clothes when she attended Johnson's swearing-in ceremony as her husband's replacement. Abby informs Mellie that the American people, whether they're entitled to or not, need to see that she's okay, because that reassures them that the President can keep his family together (unless your name is Ronald Reagan). Mellie is thoroughly chastised as Abby practically throws the magazine back at her, saying girl talk is over.
Olivia, at the reception, gives the Elliots a nudge that it's almost over, when Fitz and Abby arrive. Abby clearly enjoys arriving with Fitz as a sign of her awesome new job.
Look at me, I get to hand the President things!
After meeting his guests of honor, Fitz literally decides he wants to be alone with his former mistress, while Olivia looks like she's reprising her role in Django Unchained. Once alone, registering Olivia's objection to making her look like she's still his mistress, Fitz tells Olivia she owes him an eval of the speech Abby handed him. Olivia doesn't want to, but Fitz manages to wheedle some revisions out of her that Fitz, like a grieving father should, delivers shakily.
Fitz, as Olivia strides from the Capitol building, task firmly over and complete and hopefully spending some of that paycheck, launches into a heartfelt and loving tribute to the death of this son, and his wife's strength in coming tonight. We flash to earlier in the day, while Fitz frets in his Oval Office. Mellie emerges, dressed in red because she knows Lisa Elliot is wearing blue. Because she's the First Lady, and the First Lady's job is to know what the other women are wearing so she can complement the evening's color scheme. It is also the First Lady's job to hold her shit together while her husband replays her son's death for the country to hear all about. And then uses that to segue into the Elliots' sad story and Fitz's next legislative struggle.
In a speech the real-life NRA isn't going to realize is fictional in their press release today, Fitz basically declares the Second Amendment irrelevant when one of those firearms we let people have is pointed at you. He literally, literally, compares the Second Amendment to the protection of slavery by the early US Government. He says that when the shooter appears, the debate is over about whether guns should be easy to get. Wayne LaPierre is already ranting about how the Second Amendment, in the form of a "good guy with a gun" is all that can save someone about to be shot. But fuck him. Fitz sounds awesome on TV.
Jake isn't watching. He's got his own show, the security camera footage from the restaurant that issued a receipt to Harrison the night he died. Harrison wasn't the only guy eating alone. Jake can make out good ol' Charlie The Faithful Assassin at the same restaurant that night.
Olivia is not doing a booty call when she appears at room 207. She's not doing a booty call when she takes off her clothes. She's not doing a booty call when she wraps her feet, clad in awesome tan leather boots, around Jake's naked waist. But hey's she's brought the last of the desert island wine and admitted that they're not standing in the sun anymore, which has gone the way of the house in Vermont.
Mellie gets home, to an anxious Secret Service Agent. She slips out of her heels, confident that someone else will pick them up, and fumbles taking her necklace off so badly the string of pearls breaks, and the little things go everywhere. Which someone else will pick up. As soon as Fitz, finding Mellie and curling up on the floor with her as he desperately apologizes for using their son's death in a speech about politics, can get Mellie off the floor.
Cy sees Mr. Handsome Stranger, who is named Michael and turns out to be a working boy. Well, working man. Cy is awkward when he realizes that he's in the presence of a professional. Michael, going full Monty without revealing his ass to the camera (really, ABC, really???), convinces Cy that he's what Cy wants. Cy must have demurred, though, because Michael has only partial progress to report to Lizzy Bear. Who is, apparently, so against gay sex that she's actually hired a gay prostitute to get close to Cy. Presumably, to dig up dirt on him. Oh, Lizzy Bear, Fitz already knows all of Cy's skeletons and the guy is still working for him. Also, Cy can call the IRS. Cy's real sorry he's going to have to crush you soon. It's not him, it's the damn vegetarianism.
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