Jim's showdown with Falcone's gang doesn't start that way. It starts with Oswald, now practically showing off his impaired walk in shiny black shoes, followed by two of his own henchmen. He's just left the precinct, after showing the entire place that Jim hasn't actually killed him. Montoya and Allen, somehow, don't even bother taking Oswald into protective custody- Oswald's two followers show they're his protection. Fish, however, isn't scared of Oswald's bodyguards. She's livid once she finds out. Falcone will deal with Oswald, so she sends her First Mate to find Jim Gordon, and bring him, technically still alive, to her.
Montoya and Allen also don't immediately put Jim into protective custody. Which I like to think real Major Crimes detectives would do. Instead, Jim is allowed to call Barbara at home, where she still stupidly is. Jim hangs up to Bullock punching him in the face in the precinct. Bullock rants that he's going to kill Jim, present his body to Falcone, and save his own skin. Jim thinks Bullock should help him instead. Bullock isn't interested in whatever suicide mission Jim has in mind.
Don't do Falcone's job for him!
Barbara either didn't listen to Jim or didn't move fast enough, because First Mate is there, and acting all rapey. Seriously, can't guys just be cool about using women as hostages? Why is it always about potentially raping them, too? Anyway, Jim comes home to pull a gun on First Mate, who has his own Second Mate draw on Jim. It's a Gotham Standoff, which Jim manages to shoot his way out so that First Mate has to retreat before he can even force Barbara to kiss him.
What's a pretty girl like you doing in your own apartment?
Jim's first move is to take Barbara to the bus station and put her on something, anything, leaving Gotham. She doesn't want to go, and she looks miserable as the bus pulls away. Jim looks barely better, but at least now he can
Back at the top secret warehouse Falcone's lieutenants use, Fish is demanding that Falcone kill everyone, including the chickens Falcone has brought to the meeting and is affectionately handling, seemingly without a care in the world. Seriously, dude, chicken poop has germs. Falcone is seemingly unconcerned that Penguin is even working for Maroni, his rival gang leader. Falcone asks Fish why Penguin is so important- wasn't he just an underling who knew next to nothing? Fish receives permission only to meet with Falcone and say pretty please to get her hands on Oswald. Nikolai isn't okay with asking Maroni, but Falcone says there will be no war.
In the meantime, Falcone wants Jim Gordon. First Mate has to admit that he's already failed to bring him in. So, Falcone says he's sending someone called Victor to find Jim Gordon. After that, Falcone really only wants to hear about how amazing his chickens are. Fish and Nikolai walk away from the meeting, unsatisfied for different reason. Nikolai wants to flirt with her in front of Falcone, which Fish rejects. Nikolai wants to move against Falcone already, which Fish strikes down. Fish is worried that Falcone seems more interested in chickens than in Liza. The girl is living with Falcone, but spends her days cooking and cleaning for the man. Fish is worried that Falcone is ahead of them somehow.
The dress is supposed to distract Falcone from her plotting
Jim is typing away on his soon-to-be-not-blank warrants when Captain Essen joins him. She's kind of interested in knowing what a detective who really should be in a safe house already is doing in her precinct. Jim tells her he's just going to arrest everybody. Everybody who set Mario Pepper up for the Waynes' murder. Starting with Mayor James and Carmine Falcone. Essen points out that Jim's never going to find anyone who will help him make the arrests. And no prosecutor will touch the charges either. So, Jim puts on a brave face and says he's going down trying. Essen thinks he's crazy, and tells him to just flee, which he officially can no longer do once the precinct gets some visitors.
Two are dressed for punk clubbing, and saunter around the precinct, fondling the officers who don't resist because these aren't just two punks. These are Victor Zsasz's assistants, and he strides in, bald and dressed in black, looking like he's going to cast Dark Magic. Instead, Victor simply yells for Jim to come out, saying Falcone just wants to talk. Jim emerges from Essen's office, and she stands beside him.
After all, she should at least look like this is her precinct.
Victor offers to bring Jim in unharmed if he comes peacefully. Jim sends Essen away. Sending Barbara away was one thing, but isn't Essen armed and trained with that gun? Jim ends up demanding she go, then immediately opens fire on Victor, sending him scrambling down from the desk.
Just doin' my job here
Victor's punks join in, and it's a three-against-one shoot-out that Jim barely stumbles out of. He's caught in the torso twice, and the moron hadn't even remembered to put a bullet-proof vest on before striding around the precinct that he knows he's not safe in. Jim manages to get out via a back stair, but Team Victor is close behind. Jim is reduced to hiding among the cop cars in the parking lot. Victor and his punks enjoy the hide and seek game, but Jim is losing blood. His one break is the only police officer in Gotham who doesn't know what's going on, who literally walks into the parking lot while armed strangers are skulking around.
She demands they halt, but Victor shoots her right away, sending her down to the pavement. Jim sees his chance, but Victor catches him fleeing and shoots him too. Jim goes down, now with three bullets in him. He's done, except that Montoya and Allen finally show up. One shoots while the other gets Jim in their 80s cop car so they can whisk him away. The anonymous cop who gave Jim a chance gets her reward for her good deed when Victor unceremoniously shoots her dead. He saves the ceremony for carving another notch into his arm. He's up to 28.
Apparently, Major Crimes detectives make up for what they lack in preventing bloodbaths by knowing where to stash people when they finally do do something. Jim wakes up in a lab, surrounded by rats. No one can blame him for thinking that means he's in trouble. The nice doctor who greets him then tries to check for whether he's loopy, but Jim instead demands to know where he is. Dr. Leslie Thompkins fills him in- his new buds Montoya and Allen brought him to her university lab where she removed three bullets. She doesn't want him even sitting, but Jim forces her hand by pushing himself out of his makeshift hospital bed. Only Allen, entering and finding him up, can slow Jim down by pointing out he's still in his underwear.
Maroni is eating in his favorite restaurant while his lunch guest, Fish, recites the reasons why Oswald needs to leave with her. It boils down to snitches get stitches and her and Falcone's hurt fee-fees. Maroni has Oswald brought out, insisting that Fish won't bite, maybe scratch at most. Maroni is not unreceptive to Falcone's message. Obviously, something needs to be done. So, Maroni has Oswald deliver a heartfelt apology for surviving her attempt to have him killed. He does it typicapretending-to-be-subservient-Oswald style.
Can I just take a time-out to state how much I'm loving this depiction of the Penguin? His fake deference, the way the actor, Robin Lord Taylor, can let us see the wheels turning in Penguin's head even if he seems to be losing a point. That You-Got-Me smile when he sometimes gets caught, usually by his own design, in a lie? Watching Oswald become Penguin is one of the show's greatest delights.
Back to business. Fish thinks Oswald's apology is lame compared to what she's going to do to him when she finally gets her hands on him. Oswald makes the mistake of actually calling her Fish, and she grabs him, calling him a scaly-faced bitch while telling him he has no nickname privileges. Before she leaves, she tells Maroni that his happy fat guy act is old. Maroni and Oswald seem unworried, but Maroni's Henchman Frankie Carbone looks like he'd help Fish if he could.
First Mate is already busy on Fish's response. I say Fish's, because it's hard to believe that Falcone would authorize using nuns as hostages, handcuffed across a bridge that Maroni's men are using to drive illegal guns in unmarked trucks into Gotham. Maroni's men, at least, won't run over nuns. First Mate takes the entire shipment, and informs the drivers that one of them will have to be shot, because mob messages aren't complete without some blood. The drivers balk, stating that their testimony will do, and First Mate shoots them both on general principle.
Maroni is not scared by this message. He thinks Falcone is scared. And he's still not handing over Oswald, who's helped him score big against Falcone already and from whom he expects more. He calls Oswald his golden-egg-laying goose. Oswald honks, and then has to explain to Maroni that that's the sound geese make. Someone suggests just paying Falcone off so Maroni can keep Oswald. Oswald says that it's the wise, cautious thing to do. But Maroni has been declaring Falcone an old man who's ready to be pushed out for, like, four episodes now. So, he has no ears to hear any talk about caution. And Penguin knows it. He switches advice, confiding that if Maroni wants to go nuclear, Oswald might know how. Maroni is fooled, but Frankie Carbone is realizing that this war over him has been Penguin's plan from the beginning.
In the middle of nowhere, at night, Montoya is alone with Jim in their 80s cop car. She apologizes for not trusting Jim, and trying to inform on him to his fiancee. In reality, Montoya should have reamed Jim's ass for not telling her and Allen right away that Oswald was still alive. Oswald should have been whisked away to a safe house where Major Crimes could keep an eye on him. Instead, Jim put his fiancee in danger, and Oswald has been totally unsupervised by anyone as he launched Maroni against Falcone. But, Jim's the hero here and the hero gets apologized to. They shake hands briefly, but it's broken up by Allen, dragged back to the car by a very protective Alfred.
So, they were camped out at Wayne Manor, where Alfred lets them all in so Jim can explain that he may be removed from the Wayne Murder Case permanently, and that Montoya and Allen will take it over from him if that happens. He tells Bruce to trust them, but Bruce wants to hear from Jim what's going on. When Jim tries to give him the PG version, Bruce responds by yelling that he's not a kid, which kids do. He then orders Jim to explain, like Jim is still in the armed forces. Jim says everything they've worked on together is connected. Bruce thanks everyone for what they've done, and Jim says he's going to confront Falcone. When Jim offers to shake Bruce's hand, Bruce reaches out and hugs him instead.
Nikolai relaxes in his secret lair, surrounded by his guys and some booze. It's the perfect set up for Oswald to ambush, with Frankie and two of Frankie's guys. They blow the door and kill Nikolai and his gang without much fuss. But, Frankie wants to take the chance to eliminate a threat to Maroni and his job. After accusing Oswald of manipulating Maroni, Frankie hits Oswald, and says he could kill Oswald right there, and claim that Nikolai's men did it.
Oswald responds by asking Frankie if Frankie knows what his weakness is. Frankie doesn't love power. He doesn't crave respect. He just wants money. Lots of money. He got into this business to be rich. And he is. But Frankie's guys haven't gotten rich. Frankie's been a little stingy with his guys, making it easy for Oswald to bribe them into taking Frankie by the arms as Penguin takes out a folding knife and stabs Frankie Carbone. Then twists the knife, sending Frankie into agony. Is Penguin trying to send Frankie off with a little feeling when he kisses the guy on the head when he dies? Or is Penguin trying to show how much he loves killing?
Falcone and Maroni have decided they've lost enough. They meet at a bridge, surrounded by lieutenants and attended by Oswald. Each is grieving over losing old friends. Each wants to stop the violence. Falcone points out that they're both about to become rich over the Arkham land deal, and that Wayne Enterprises is now for them to carve up. He'll give Maroni Penguin. He just wants something in return. When Maroni balks at offering Falcone a riverfront warehouse, Oswald suggests giving Falcone Indian Hill. Fish points out that it's an abandoned toxic waste dump over an Indian Burial Ground. Even if it could be cleaned, they'll never be able to do anything with the land. Falcone says it must be worth something if Maroni had it in the first place, and accepts. They hug in celebration of the truce, and Maroni asks about Gordon. Maroni wishes Falcone luck in dealing with Gordon, saying the man's honesty is trouble for everyone.
Gordon's not relying on his honesty to get him through. He re-assembles a pretty nasty looking rifle at home, when he gets a knock on the door. At least he checks before opening to see it's Bullock. Bullock is "escorting" a very drunk woman he identifies as a member of the British Aristocracy. He sends his Duchess to Jim's bedroom before telling Jim that he's not killing Jim after all. But not because he doesn't have the right to. Because Jim has decided to play the Obvious Card, going home when he knows that's the most dangerous place for him to be. Bullock has decided he's doomed either way, and he's not going down begging for his life. If Falcone's going to kill them, they should at least earn it.
Jim still wants to arrest Mayor James and Falcone for conspiring to frame Mario Pepper. Bullock calls the idea the work of chimps on crack, but says it's bold and will involve guns, so he's in. But that will have to wait until Bullock has gotten one last lay. In Jim's bed. Jim cringes when hears that Co-ed Naked Marco Polo is Bullock's foreplay. The bed will need to be burned.
The next morning, Bullock is in a great mood while they proceed around Gotham with rifles. Their first stop is Mayor James' car, which Jim climbs into the back seat of just as James does. He's incredulous when Jim hands him the warrant, but Bullock's taken over the driver's seat, so James realizes that his schedule for the day is officially blown. They drive James to Falcone's home, where James talks to the guards, getting them in without trouble. Falcone is enjoying a meal when Jim and Bullock drag Mayor James in, and announce they've got a warrant for him too.
Jim says Falcone will simply be shot if he tries resisting arrest. Mayor James is scared, maybe even of the law. Bullock is ready to roll on arresting, but Falcone asks Jim whether he'd be so tough if Falcone had Barbara as a hostage. Jim denies that they could. Falcone says Barbara never left town, and instead came to him herself, to plead Jim's case. He's impressed with Barbara, but handed her over to Victor Zsasz all the same. Bullock says Falcone's bluffing. Jim demands proof. Falcone says he's just going to have to decide who's right. Was Barbara really that stupid?
Yes. Yes, she was. Liza is cooking for her while Victor is eyeing her as his 29th arm marking. Barbara looks more angry than scared. Maybe because Victor's ringtone on his cell is "Funkytown". But it's Falcone, announcing that Jim has folded. Bullock is pissed as he and Jim are disarmed and surrounded, but he can't believe it when Barbara is marched in, apologizing to Jim. Will people please stop being sorry to this guy?
How 'bout we let you kill us in a couple decades?
Bullock demands a last meal, or at least a last smoke. All this talk of killing reminds a recently-freed Mayor James that he can still make his morning meetings, so he dashes out. But Falcone's less interested in theatrics than he is in the fact that Jim simply believed Falcone. Or, rather, didn't want to take the chance that Barbara really is that stupid. He reminds Jim that they have a common enemy in anarchy, and sends all three of them away. Victor isn't happy, but he knows who the boss is. Falcone gives Barbara a heartfelt goodbye, complimenting her before Jim demands to know what Falcone wants in return.
All Falcone demands is that Jim think a little bit about everything Falcone's said. He has confidence that Jim will. Jim immediately takes Barbara home where they realize that if they're going to go out in bouts of moronic idealism, they'll at least do it together. Let's hope Jim doesn't actually have sex with his fiancee in the same bed Bullock used the night before. Because Falcone would never let Jim treat Barbara that way.
Falcone is enjoying Liza's cooking, who doesn't look like she's totally bored yet. Maybe grooming her to be his triple agent? Hard to say, because Falcone doesn't spend much time with her, once again preferring his chickens instead. He's supposed to be gathering eggs, but Oswald, with his umbrella, appears behind him. They look at each other intently before embracing. Two conspirators celebrating a successful operation.
The whole thing was hatched from the first episode. While Jim and Bullock were being released from meat hooks, Falcone was meeting with Oswald for any last tidbits the guy about to die might have. Oswald, still not used to his beaten and broken legs, stands shakily as he promises Falcone that he's got information the man will want. But Oswald has a couple of requests. First, he'd like the chance to persuade Gordon to not kill him. Falcone is intrigued, but Oswald has more than just surviving in mind. He promises to return, join Maroni's operation, and become Falcone's inside man in Maroni's operation. Ominous orchestral music plays while Falcone considers, and accepts. So Oswald gives up Fish and Nikolai. Fish is planning on helping Nikolai take Falcone's place, but only so she can replace him.
I'm not just a snitch. I'm the greatest snitch ever.
Falcone has known about them from the beginning. Well, almost the beginning. Just how much was Oswald able to glean from his time working for Fish Mooney? He was obviously either much more involved in Fish's operation, or spent his free time snooping. And what about the handing over of Indian Hill? What has Oswald made sure Falcone has gained? In any event, he's now Falcone's personal snitch. Falcone congratulates him, as it was his plan. But Falcone has his doubts about letting Jim live. Honest men are dangerous. Oswald reassures Falcone that Jim will want to work with them in time. We leave them sharing a giggle over it.
No comments:
Post a Comment