Take Me To Your Leader - Scandal - Season 4, Episode 10

Scandal usually revolves around the tangled webs approximately ten people can build around themselves in Washington D.C.  So, we've been given a chance to get out of the Beltway, and watch an episode centered around one woman's struggle to escape her kidnappers.  And, even with such a simple, straightforward plot, we still get a disturbing twist that sucker punches even Olivia Pope.

A Red Door looms large at the end of a blurry hallway, and Olivia, in a messy state, bumrushes the door.  We cut away before we can see if she makes it.  So, this episode will be all about how, even powerless, Olivia still has some fight in her.

The one consistent theme of Scandal is that happiness is short-lived, or postponed to an unknowable future at best.  Consequently, we spend a few seconds rehashing Olivia's Me Party from the end of the last episode, with Olivia lavishly describing the wine she won't drink, the Dolly Madison Pizza and Gettysburgers she won't eat, and the piano sex she won't have.  Her actual kidnapping is quick, and Olivia's loud Stevie Wonder music keeps her deaf to her kidnapper until he's literally on top of her.  They struggle as Olivia claws at her door frame.  Despite Jake's assumption, they don't take her out of the building; only to the apartment across the hall.

Wait, this isn't a party anymore!

Jake desperately runs away, shirtless, down to the street, where he hears a car start up and sees headlights pull away just in time.  His running after the car is useless except to get a license plate number, and his next step is to go back to Olivia's apartment, desperately looking for any surveillance devices that could lead to Olivia's kidnappers.  He's on the phone with Huck the second he's back in Olivia's apartment, reporting on exactly what happened, and the car.  We last see him, now dressed, leaving.  Presumably for wherever Huck is going to work his magic and try to track Olivia.

Olivia, meanwhile, is across the hall, gagged with duct tape.  Just like her neighbor, Ms. Nice Elderly Lady, who isn't freaking out as much as she should be.  Unlike Olivia, she doesn't know how evil evil people are.  Her kidnappers happily manipulate Jake into thinking Olivia's been driven away, laughing at his futile effort to chase their decoy car.  While Jake chases the car, two goons sneak into Olivia's apartment and remove all their surveillance devices, so when Jake whisks back into Olivia's apartment, there's nothing for him to find.  Olivia watches in horror and resistance.  Her only success is to work a ring off her finger, and leave it to be found later.  Like a solid gold breadcrumb.

Ms. Nice Elderly Lady is shot in the chest, which everyone but she herself saw coming.  Olivia's kidnappers, about four goons in black, remove their disguises, and reveal new ones:  paramedics removing a recently deceased person from the building.  Olivia is smuggled out in a body bag, literally right under Jake's fuming nose.  Is Olivia wondering how to tease him about this later?

In the ambulance, we get the first characterization of Olivia's main tormentor this episode:  a guy I'll call Tyler, because I hate that name and I hate this guy.  He's smarmy as he unzips Olivia from a body bag, and muses on what her begging for her life will be like.  Olivia's not dealing with this guy, mostly because, despite her fear back in Ms. Dead Neighbor's apartment, she could at least puzzle out that the guy in charge isn't in the ambulance.  She may be kidnapped and surrounded by awful people; but she's still Olivia Pope.  And Olivia Pope only talks to The Guy In Charge.  So give her an injection to put her out and let her know when that guy shows up.

I don't think anyone expected Olivia to wake up in a Ritz-Carlton, but her new home is even bleaker than imagined.  It's one room.  The floor is bare concrete.  There's sunlight through grilled openings that show nothing but a kaleidoscope of foreign slum architecture beyond.  There's someone calling through the grille, but it's not for Olivia; it's an Islamic call to prayer.  And, Olivia's unexpected cellmate is grateful she heard it, too.  Because being kidnapped in a foreign country is bad enough without hearing things that aren't there.

Hey roomie

Ian is a wreck of a man; he spends his time in the cell lounging on his cot, or slumped in a corner, or hunched over a rice bowl.  His life is in limbo while he awaits the resolution of his kidnapper's ransom demands. And he doesn't seem so certain his ransom will ever be paid.  Ian talks as someone who was kidnapped in an Islamic country, so Olivia immediately begins processing why she could have been taken prisoner in the States, but brought to the other side of the globe, when she could have just been held in a basement somewhere.  She puts it together that she's in the this country for something that she's expected to be involved with in her surroundings.  Something involving her is being set up.  But in the meantime, she's got to pee.

Her screams for potty time are answered by Tyler.  And another guy we'll call Blake.  Because I hate that name too.  And Blake is a less smart version of Tyler.  Blake cuffs her up and the two men lead her to the unisex restroom, which is a filthy sink and a filthier toilet.  Olivia spends precious toilet paper protecting her heiny.  There's no shower in this room.  Make of that what you will.  While in the hallway, Olivia tries to get a handle on her surroundings, and we see the Red Door.  It's padlocked and chained.

Olivia and her Hall Monitors

Ian tries to help Olivia adjust to prison life;  he runs her through the routine, which involves one bowl of rice a day, as long as their captors aren't busy.  But Ian can't help Olivia gauge the passage of time; he doesn't even remember how long he's been there.  So, when Olivia brings up escape, Ian is dead set against it.  He's stayed alive by focusing on his bowl of rice every day.  Olivia's talk of getting out just frightens him.  He tells Olivia the story of Bradley,  the real story.  Bradley was his cellmate before, and his ransom wasn't paid after all.  So their captors dragged him away, did terrible things to him, and then a gunshot ended his screams.

Ian collapses in Olivia's arms, and we see her tear up a bit at Ian's story and his obviously deteriorated mental condition.  But we also see that Olivia is determined to get herself out, because she knows better than to depend on Tyler and Blake actually ever letting her go, no matter what ransom is paid.  So she gets Ian to confess that he has a daughter named Kiera, and she dangles Kiera in front of Ian like meat in front of a dog.  Olivia goes for the head cradle, reassuring Ian that she's Olivia Pope and it's handled.  And she cements the deal by handing Ian his rice bowl and taking hers as well in solidarity.  Eat up, her eyes tell him.  We need our strength.  They bond over the rice's mediocrity.

While Olivia slowly starts the transformation into the battered and unkempt woman she was in the show's opening scene, Ian and Olivia further bond as Ian tells her more of his backstory.  His wife, a journalist, died in an Aghgani car bomb.  Ian has continued his journalism career without her, but really wants to write a book that will provide some security so he can take care of little Kiera.  Has Olivia's determination given him hope?  Olivia decides that it's time to hope Daddy Pope had her unknowingly tagged with a tracking device, and has Ian check, but it turns up nothing.  So Olivia keeps Ian's spirits up by telling him that she's best buds with the President of the United States, and he will get her back. Any way he can.  She's quite sure, and Ian looks like he actually half-believes it.

Olivia will help, though, by trying to memorize everything.  The hall.  The routine.  The keys.  The cuffs.  The bathroom.  The Red Door to Freedom.  She slowly becomes messier and messier.  Her latest attempt to pee becomes the realization that the bathroom window has a crack that lets in the breeze, which Olivia investigates by standing on the ridiculously fragile-looking sink.  It's locked from outside, but Olivia still has her bra, and she manages to fish the underwire support out of it.

The only good underwire has every done anyone, ever

She makes a small curve at the end of the wire that she will send through the window frame crack, and fiddle with.  Her five minutes get eaten up while she's trying to find the lock with the wire, but she does manage to get the wire inside the latch, and lift the latch.  The window opens just as Blake bolts into the room.

Olivia has the height advantage, and she manages to get Blake on the ground, but Tyler's right there as back up, and she's back in her cell, where a terrified Ian has no idea what's happening.  Blake wants to shoot Olivia right there in retaliation for making him look like weak, but Tyler talks him down, reminding him that they need her alive.  But, Tyler's a fair man and Olivia needs some punishment.  For a brief moment,there's the threat that the punishment is going to be a brutal rape, but it's Ian who ends up paying.  Since his ransom hasn't come through anyway, why not drag him away, so Olivia can hear him begging for his life and the gunshot that ends Ian's voice.   Olivia can only listen, gripping the bars of her cell door's window, and imagine his end.  It's made even more gruesome when Tyler returns, with a bloody face and tough talk for Olivia.

For the next day or so, Olivia is pretty low.  She spends her time just laying on the floor, sleeping, staring into the distance, and generally not giving a shit.  Only the sound of a helicopter can rouse her.  It's followed by shouting, gunfire, and flashes of gunpowder.  Which can only mean one thing:  Jake is here!  Triumphant music plays while Olivia cowers in her cell, waiting for Jake to appear and tell her she's okay.

And, he's apparently rescued her so she can wake up in a luxurious bed, sunlight bathing her until she's in a hot shower and calling for whoever she loves this week.  Which turns out to be Fitz. Because, now, suddenly, she's in Vermont.  With Fitz.  Who, after shower sex, will go about his day as mayor of their Vermont town.  She will get on with her boysenberry preserves.  They rejoice about how awesome and ordinary their life is, before Olivia's subconscious can ruin things by showing good old Traitor Tom, the B-613 agent who reminds Olivia that she personally wanted him monitoring Fitz after his terms in office.  Tom follows after Fitz, ever the dedicated Secret Service Agent.  Olivia, instead, takes a dog that has magically appeared for a walk among the horses.  Presumably, this has something to do with Olivia's boysenberries.

Olivia's subconscious strikes again, this time in the form of Abby, who's spent half a season being Olivia's problem.  She's back to further find fault with Olivia; does she really believe Fitz resigned, for her?  Where did the dog come from, and is it a substitute for her faithful gladiators?  Abby tries to get through to Olivia, who is still trying to remain blissful and maybe looking for a boysenberry.  Olivia doesn't want to hear that her lovers aren't going to rescue her.  That she will have to rescue herself.  Abby disappears, but not before pointing to a bit of rusty debris on the ground.  Tom appears, backing Abby up, before Olivia finally wakes herself up and out of her fantasy.

Someone has delivered another bowl of rice.  Which Olivia pounces on.  After, Olivia attacks her bra again, getting the second and final underwire out.  This time, she's going to use every second of her five minutes in the bathroom to get out. Blake escorts her alone this time.  Olivia isn't paying attention to this, though, too intent on the window she will open in seconds this time.  So it takes her and us a moment to register that while she slept, her captors bricked up the window.  The new bricks and mortar just sit there, high up in the wall, representing Olivia's pain and sorrow and fear and anger.  She can't take this blow, and collapses on the floor to cry in painful sobs.

While on her knees on the bathroom floor, Olivia suddenly realizes what Abby was pointing out to her.  The same rusty piece of debris, a tie with some doodad attached, is somehow fastened to the underside of the sink.  Olivia, luckily, has her underwire handy and manages to get it in her hand just as Blake decides she's been alone enough.  The debris looks small and harmless enough, but it must pack a punch because Olivia knocks Blake out with it.  She takes his gun and keys, and we see, again, her mad dash to The Red Door to Freedom.  She's armed, she's got keys, and she looks unstoppable.

See Liv run!  Run, Liv, run!

But Tyler, emerging from a corridor between her and the exit, surprises her so much she loses balance and falls on her ass in front of him.  She's right back up with the gun pointed at him, but he's surprisingly calm.  He's pretty confident she won't shoot him, literally thinking that a girl would never do that.  Olivia Pope knows just what to do with pigs, though, and the guy has a bullet in his head and is sprawled out on the ground while Olivia finishes her dash to the door.  She's only got so long before Blake wakes up.  And she's got not one, but three locks to match with the billion or so keys on her key ring.  She's panicky and fumbles with the locks, and the suspense builds.

Until, finally, the deadbolt key is found, the Red Door to Freedom is flung open, and we see a blurry vision of the street outside.  Where is Olivia?  We don't know, and neither, still, does she.  Because she's not on a street at all.  The Red Door to Freedom has led to a projection screen.  In a huge, cavernous black room, complete with sound and light effects.  Someone comes up behind her.  But he has no interest in hurting her.  Ian sure does look better after his ordeal, dressed up like a stock broker and cleaned up real nice.  And he's in a much better mood since he's gotten out of that cell and ditched the game he's been playing with Olivia all along.

Ian reveals the whole point of this multi-day exercise has been to confirm that Fitz, back in the States, will do anything to rescue her.  Which she did, and pretty much on her first day in the joint.  Ian reveals that her need to give others hope led to her spilling the beans on Fitz.  Ian is actually pretty nice while he makes a big deal of illustrating how Olivia aided him.  And he politely escorts Olivia back into her prison.  Old lines of Olivia's from the last episode, declaring that she's free clash with Abby telling her she's on her own as Ian re-enters the prison with her and closes the Red Door to Nowhere behind him.  Olivia's finally met The Guy In Charge.

Will Ian continue to be the Gentleman Extorter?  Will Blake wake up?  Will Jake ever find her?  Will Daddy Pope decide to care?  Or will Mama Pope learn of Olivia's ordeal, break out of prison, and unleash the full fury of her old terrorist self?

The Breakup - Agent Carter - Season 1, Episode 4

This show does not stay fixed on one premise for too long.  Which keeps the viewers coming back every week.  But leaves the show feeling unanchored and unrelated to the larger Marvel/SHIELD storylines.  In the first and second episodes, we think it's a MacGuffin/Double Agent show.  Then the third episode wraps up the MacGuffins, and kills off one of the most annoying characters.  This week introduces another MacGuffin that ends Howard's and Carter's partnership.  And each episode teases, some more than others, the existence of a Larger Evil that's coming.

I wish that the show would stop worrying about MacGuffins and get to Leviathan, which is a shadowy prescense in each episode.  Each episode makes it seem like the SSR will finally openly confront Leviathan, only to end up stuffing them back in the background.  This episode takes the teasing to a new level, as a new Leviathan agent is revealed, and Chief Dooley gets his first big break from the Magic Typewriter.  But will they turn out to be stuffed back into the shadows so we can see, once again, how sexist the 1940s were?

I'm as much a fan of exposing history's patriarchy as any feminist. But, even the Mary Tyler Moore Show branched out and showed Mary enjoying the freedoms she had as much as the bullshit she had to overcome.  Agent Carter is still obsessed with showing Peggy being dragged two steps back for every step she takes forward in those awesome 1940s heels.  Maybe if she wore more sensible shoes, she'd never lose any ground.  Just sayin'.

Team Guy Agents continues to make baby steps progress on what they're up against, while Peggy has more information already that she can't share.  Chief Dooley reveals himself to be cannier than I thought.  On the trail of the Russian identities stolen by his two enemies, he decides to confront a Nazi Colonel who may have killed the original Russians and confirm that they did die.  Thompson thinks it's a pointless base-covering exercise, but supports it because it enables him to be temporary Chief and make everyone but Carter do double overtime.  The job of a substitute is to make people grateful when the real boss returns.

Sousa decides that it's time to make good on the bitter words he gave Carter last episode, and spends his overtime working on what he thinks is a witness to the discovery of Howard's merch.  Sousa, cane and limp and all, literally strikes a blow for handi-capable people by dropping a homeless drunk who won't cooperate when he asks questions about the night of the bust.  He suspects that the man, who is dressed in his old war uniform, saw something and is lying about it, because otherwise the guy would have just said he saw nothing and let it go.  Instead, Homeless Witness simply doesn't want to talk to cops.

Sousa uses his cane to drop the man, holding it against the man's neck and somehow dragging him into his car and to the SSR for questioning.  Thompson is confused by Sousa's move, totally doubting that the man even saw anything or would tell Sousa if he did.  Sousa tries playing Good Cop by comparing his physical war injuries with Homeless Man's psychological ones.  He wants the guy to see that he's among people who "get" him, but Homeless Man tells him to check his privilege.   In the end, it's Thompson who gets Homeless Man to talk, but not with his trusty Stick.  He simply baits the witness with food and booze, and happily hands the whole thing over in return for finding out that two people, a fancy-looking man and brunette woman, were at the docks that night before the SSR.  Sousa is crushed he can't link the blonde in the photo to Howard's merch.  Thompson appreciates Sousa's efforts, but thinks it was a waste of time anyway.

Chief Dooley founds out from Colonel Mueller that the Germans didn't kill a single Russian at a place called Fennel, where the original Russians died.  Instead, the Nazis came upon a massacre that seemed to have no explanation.  Chief Dooley ended up getting more mystery than answers, but reveals that he's pretty clever at manipulating Nazis into thinking they're getting a painless death while leaving them to hang after all.

Carter and Jarvis work together to make sure a certain package is smuggled back into the States successfully, and only for the agree-upon price.  Howard Stark is back!  He spent his trip back playing pool in a cargo container.  He spends the car ride in NYC hunkered down in the back seat, with Carter realizing at the last minute that his home is surrounded by SSR agents.  Here's a clue.  If you can see them, they can see you.  They can see that you're with Stark's butler, in a car at night.  And they can see you turning for the detour.  How they didn't get pulled over is anyone's guess.

Carter decides the only safe place to stash Stark is right under her landlady's nose.  When Miriam Fry finds her in the laundry room, playing with the dumbwaiter after shoving Stark in it, Miriam can't contain her glee as she insists on making sure Carter goes to her floor and opens the dumbwaiter for inspection, only to find it empty.  Carter is relieved until she realizes what that means, and once Miriam is gone, she has to find which woman Stark is hiding out with.  Stark will spend the episode really enjoying his stay at the Griffith.

Stark has another mission for her: find out if the SSR really has the rest of his merch.  Which Carter can do with his super duper camera pen.  It's awesome, and I can't figure out why no one's actually made one in real life in 2015.  And it works perfectly when Carter uses it the next day in the lab, while supposedly taking a lab tech's lunch order.  And Carter and Howard have fun developing the pictures in a makeshift photo lab in Carter's room, which somehow got a red light.   Howard confirms that the SSR really does have all his stuff, which makes him sound mildly disappointed.  After all, he claimed in the first episode that even the good guys shouldn't have this stuff.  Carter is sympathetic, especially when he says it's imperative that one of his Bad Babies be shut down and replaced with a fake, so Howard can hold on to a small globe that could cut all of Manhattan's power.

Carter is willing to go along, but she's a little skeptical- why does Stark worry so much about something that will just cut the power off, even if it's for a while?   When Jarvis gives her a lift to SSR Headquarters, she tries asking him if Stark is keeping something from her, and his nervous tell gives her all the reason she needs.  While successfully retrieving it secretly during her overtime shift, she decides to risk activating it by pressing the button Stark insisted would plunge Manhattan into darkness.  Instead, the lights stay on, a compartment opens, and Carter plucks out a small vial of a blood-looking liquid.  And realizes Stark's been playing his own game.  And she's been his playing piece.

She would love to angrily confront Stark, but before she can, Thompson decides that belittling Sousa isn't enough, and wants her to go home and leave the hard work to the guys.  Instead of sexist jokes, he simply tells her that he can't possibly understand why she bothers trying to be a real agent, because the SSR is never going to treat her like one.  Carter doesn't really have an answer for him, as there's really no joke that can respond to being told you're wasting your life.  So, when she arrives back at the Griffith, peels Howard away from whatever resident he's canoodling with now, she maybe gives him what she'd like to give Thompson.

Stark can tell she's mad, and would love to evade telling her what's in the vial, but Carter won't let it go, and when she find's out it's her Captain Rogers' blood, she lets loose against Stark.  Stark claims to want it for research into vaccines, as if he knows anything about developing them.  Carter isn't having it; she won't hand it over, and she won't let Stark, in any way, profit from his experiments with Captain Rogers.  She ends up throwing Stark out, telling him it's on him to get out undetected.  He does, but he can't resist sending Jarvis to waylay her the next morning and try to get Carter back on his side.

It fails, with Carter almost as angry at Jarvis as she is at Stark.  And to make it worse, Jarvis can't even enjoy a shoe shine without Stark telling him to keep at it.  Stark still needs her for Operation Secret Lying Stuff.  And by the way, Stark, if Stan Lee asks nicely for the Sports Section, don't be a dick when you hand it to him.  He's fucking Stan Lee.

And now, for our Leviathan teases.  The first happens when one of the smugglers who made Stark's return possible is unhappy that his goons didn't manage to collect the extra money. He shoots them nonchalantly, and goes on to do his own collecting.  Blondie manages to get into the Griffith (is Miriam Fry even trying to catch these guys?  I thought Houdini couldn't even do this), and on to Carter's floor, somehow knowing it was her, but he's met in the hallway by new resident Dottie, home from ballet practice.  And, somehow, totally not scared of Blondie or his automatic pistol.  Instead she leaps all over him and the walls, quickly knocking him to the ground and taking his gun for herself.  Sisters doing it for themselves.

Carter decides that Stark is right about one thing.  No one, not even the good guys, should have Captain Roger's blood.  In fact, it should live in Carter's wall, which she punches a hole in and seals back up while we see Dottie wonder at her new toy, while it's former owner lies, dead and certainly starting to smell by now, under her bed.  Maybe he'll be the body rotting at the bottom of the dumbwaiter instead of Stark.

Chief Dooley returns from Europe.  He chit chats with Thompson, and the office looks otherwise empty.  Is the double overtime over for now?  Maybe, because Thompson has a new piece of the puzzle to show for the agents' work:  some travel record that shows Stark has returned to the States.  Dooley and Thompson share a moment savoring his capture before Thompson leaves Dooley alone.  Which means, that Dooley is the only one who hears the Magic Typewriter come to life and the keys typing on their own. Mr. Green's employers are making contact.  He doesn't react, only stares ominously as he realizes that their might be worse things than Nazis, and that those worse things have a communicator in his headquarters.

Finders Keepers - Gotham - Season 1, Episode 13

So, there's a reason we saw that anonymous blond detective, who's normally in LA as Bunchy, last week.  And there's a reason we saw him being a complete dick.  Because he's this week's Bad Guy.

Ah, last week.  Remember all that awesome momentum last week?  Jim and Penguin keep it going.  But Bruce, returning from the Alps, tries to slow the episode down.  Fortunately, Selina nips his stalling in the bud so Penguin can quietly triumph over his new connection to Jim.  Even Nygma and Kris Kringle can't slow Jim down.

Anyway, it turns out that Bunchy is actually Narcotics Detective Gordon Flass, And Flass is running his own drug ring from Essen's precinct.  We're not exactly sure why Flass has to kill small time dealer Pinky Littlefield, but Jim suspects it has something to do with several small packets of bright blue goo.  When a witness steps forward, Leon Winkler, he's so ordinary but decent that you know he's going to die in the next scene.  Which he does.  Right after speaking to his dear wife.  Right in the precinct's interview room.

Really?  Really?

Jim is furious.  Someone killed his witness.  Whoever was on guard duty at the interview room must have helped.  The GCPD is now broadcasting, to anyone interested, that half its force is corrupt and half its force is incompetent.  Jim is sure Winkler's killer, and now Pinky's killer, is a cop.  Bullock is sure, again, that Jim is going to get himself killed for a case.  I'm not saying Bullock's wrong; Jim's definitely putting himself in danger.  But come on, Bullock; Jim's dealt with this stuff before.  Bullock grudingly goes along with the investigation of both murders when Essen okays it, telling Jim to run anything big by her first.

Mooney's punishment starts with being dragged by two handlers into some industrial basement of some sort, where a cage holds a nice little dentist office/torture chamber, in which Mooney is tied to some futuristic looking upright bench.  Her extractor, named Bob, describes his mission as if it's a teeth cleaning.  One gets the impression that Bob is working on autopilot at this point in his career.  They start out by snarling at each other until he slaps her, which she laughs at.  One has to wonder:  how much of this is bravado to stall things, how much is the mental stress of facing torture?  Or, has Mooney really faced worse?

We'll never know, because while Mooney is busy faking out Bob, First Mate is busy getting the drop on his own captors, killing them both and commandeering their van.   His only question for his captors, before killing them, is to find out where Mooney is.  So he can interrupt Bob's halfhearted attempts to torture Mooney by literally beating the man into the concrete floor and rescuing Mooney.  Despite his morning of bloodshed, he's gentle and kind to Mooney, asking if she's okay before vamoosing with her.

Jim's interrogation of every cop in the precinct produces nothing.  And the log book, showing who was supposed to be guarding the interview room, is missing.  So, Jim begs Bullock for someone who could crack, and that someone turns out to be a bald guy who ends up finking on another detective named Delaware.  Who's already trying to flee in the parking lot when Jim catches up to him.  Delaware almost runs Jim over, but decides to stop and get out of the car anyway.  Which is always a mistake, because we all know Jim can beat someone senseless in seconds.  After knocking Delaware into the hood of the car and cuffing him, Jim searches the trunk, which Delaware was closing when Jim found him.

Inside, the only contraband is more packets of bright blue goo.  So, Jim knows he's on the scent.  And he decides to remind the precinct that no one can get away from him by perp walking Delaware through the precinct, and locking him in the holding cells.  Bullock is horrified; Jim stands firm.  Flass, once confronted with the evidence of the matching blue packets, dismisses the evidence.  Essen is so angry that Jim acted without consulting her, that she sides with Flass and gives Internal Affairs the case of Winkler's murder.  Jim's grumpy about this, but he's pissed off his sympathetic boss.

Detective Bunchy Flass is riding so high after this, that when Nygma, once again, makes an attempt to impress Kris Kringle with a history factoid and riddling note, Flass feels it's time to publicly humiliate Nygma by reading the note out loud for his subordinates to laugh at.  Which they do, to Nygma's horror and Kringle's resentment.  Kringle, this time, stands up to Flass, insisting that Nygma's note isn't bad, which is the only thing that can make Nygma smile now.

Mooney wakes up in some anonymous safe space, First Mate ready with an ice pack and relief to find out she's up and at 'em.  First Mate isn't the only one concerned about Mooney.  At the episode's opening, Jim, tries to console Bullock, thinking Falcone had her killed.  Bullock brushed the concern off, reminding Jim that it's an occupational hazard in organized crime.  Is Bullock really so nonchalant about his best source?  Free from Falcone, with Viktor Zsasz on their trail, First Mate wants to whisk her away; Mooney wants to stay and make Penguin pay.  Guess who wins out?

Penguin will spend most of the episode gloating over his win over Mooney.  Assorted goons tidy up the club after the earlier confrontation while Mrs. Kapelput, in raptures over her little Oswald's success, surveys his new domain.  She's impressed, and asks if he's the one in charge of it now.  Oswald bristles, thinking his mother doubts him and his abilities, but she quickly mollifies him, so much that when she whisks up Liza's scarf, left behind from her lifeless body, Oswald meekly allows his mother to keep it.

Bullock and Jim make one last attempt to work on the Flass/Delaware case, but they're too late in raiding one of Flass's drug stashes.  Delaware has already gone to the Commissioner, no doubt skimming off the drug operation, and gotten a warrant authorizing Delaware to "seize" the drugs and move them.  They'll disappear again, with no cop held responsible for it.  Bullock and Jim are futher deflated when Internal Affairs rules Winkler's death, by an ice pick to the back, as a suicide.  Bullock seems resigned to losing, despite Winkler's widow weeping beside him.  But, Gruber is right; Jim just can't accept defeat.  He tells Bullock only that he'll be back in an hour.

Penguin, despite his company and the mess, is quietly ecstatic when Jim shows up at his new club.  He invites Jim in and happily agrees to a tete-a-tete, interrupted only by Mrs. Kapelput meeting Jim.  Jim looks sexually harassed, but kisses Mrs. Kapelput's hand anyway.  Jim lays his story in front of Penguin, asking for information on Flass.  Apparently, Penguin's contacts with Maroni's gang are active in the Gotham's drug business.  When Jim wants to know what Penguin wants in return, he brushes Jim off.  They're friends.  No one's keeping score.  Jim's only condition is that no one gets hurt.  Penguin assures him it's done and done right.  Jim leaves, not knowing that Penguin is lying on both counts.

I totally won't use our friendship to advance my own criminal plot

Penguin, after getting Jim's request in to someone, has his mom taken home by one of his new goons, so he can go Home Alone in Mooney's club.  We see Penguin frantically fondle the bar, spit on the Fish sculpture, and guzzle champagne.  Repeatedly.  Penguin is excited to finally have, for himself, the bounty of his boss.  He decides to get theatrical, commandeering the mic and acting as emcee for an empty club.  Until, he realizes, the club isn't empty.  He's got an audience of two, one of whom is carrying a baseball bat.

 We demand a refund!

While Penguin's Maroni contact holds Delaware's wife underwater to get answers out of him, Mooney has First Mate hold Penguin in place for her payback.  Penguin is scared, and starts babbling, taunting Mooney by telling her that Falcone's trusted him over her the whole time, acting as Falcone's spy on Mooney and Maroni since he was thrown off that pier.  The reunion is ruined by Viktor and his three lovely assistants, finally finding Mooney and First Mate.  There's a gun fight, and a chase.  First Mate ends up sending Mooney out a window, and stays behind to hold them off for her retreat.  He gets shot in the leg for his loyalty to her, and Viktor crows over his prize.

Jim, back at his desk, is surprised by one of Penguin's goons just appearing, with a plastic bag containing Delaware's leverage over Flass; the ice pick Flass used to kill with.  With the murder weapon in hand, Jim launches right into Flass's gaggle of subordinates to announce that he's arresting Flass.  Flass, surrounded by Narcotics detectives, shakes off Jim's accusation and arrest talk.  But Jim goes into full speech maker mode.  He opens up to the other officers, reminding them that Flass brought his dirty business into their precinct.  Jim reminds them that a witness trusted them; and that Flass is making them look bad to all of Gotham.  It's enough to start people murmuring amongst themselves.  And it's enough for Bullock and Essen to step forward.  Essen decides that it's not Flass's precinct, it's hers.  And Detective Alvarez backs her up.  When Essen cuffs Flass, Alvarez leads him away.  Homicide wins!

Kris Kringle and Nygma make up, showing us all that Nygma really hates onions, but establishing that these two might have a future together.  It's been painstakingly sweet to see these two slowly affect each other.  Nygma slowly impresses her bit by bit, while Kringle establishes her boundaries and slowly coaches Nygma on how to befriend her.

Throughout, we see the saga of Bruce Seeking Selina.  Back from the Alps, Bruce has Alfred drive him repeatedly in Selina's favorite neighborhood.  Alfred begrudgingly agrees that Bruce can circle the block on foot, and Bruce scores when he catches Ivy wandering around.  It only costs twenty bucks for Ivy to agree to send Selina along to see Bruce.  It's always amusing to watch Bruce instruct Alfred to do something; here, it's watching Alfred actually pay Ivy for a favor he'd rather no one do.  But Ivy does her job;  later that night, Selina interrupts Bruce's rousing one-boy chess tourney.

My opponent cheats!

Bruce suffers being teased for playing chess by himself so he can present Selina with a snow globe, brought all the way from Switzerland.  Selina's mildly impressed with the thing, but Bruce wants more.  He wants her to return to Wayne Manor and help Bruce find his parent's killer.

Selina decides that it's time rip the bandage off.  She admits what we've all suspected; that while she saw the murder, she never actually saw the killer.  She only lied to get out of a trip to juvenile detention.  After telling Bruce to leave her alone, because he's only a pest to her, she leaves Bruce to his shattered snow globe and tears.  When Alfred finds him later, he manages to get Bruce to stop crying by mildly embarrassing him over it.  It seems like a cruel thing, to try to tease a kid for crying.  That's what kids do, right?  Not this kid.  Bruce remembers that he's the oldest twelve-year-old ever, and returns to his Wall of Murder.  He re-dedicates himself to his solo quest of pinning pictures to the Wall.

We're almost at the end.  It seems that Bullock learned that Mooney is alive, and needing a sympathetic ear at the docks tonight. He meets her there, handing over his jacket for the cold.  Bullock tries getting her to see the sense of leaving Gotham for good, and it's about as effective as his sensible advice to Jim.   Mooney is even more dedicated to killing Penguin.  Bullock doesn't say much more, except to agree to find First Mate, and help him, if possible.  Turns out, Bullock's affection for her wasn't fake or because she was his source; they share a brief, gentle kiss before he leaves her with his jacket.  She's alone, but free.  She could go and be anything she wants to now, but she'll return and meet her fate trying to destroy her enemies.

Just when you think Gotham will end on a sweet note for a change, we get the ominous end we've come to expect.  Jim is wandering after a successful day, only to be accosted by Delaware, in full panic mode.  Seeming to swear off every bad thing he's ever done, Delaware is clingy and loud as he begs Jim to protect his family.  Delaware is sincerely terrified.  Of Jim.  Jim can only stare in horror as he starts to realize somebody might have gotten hurt.  Is Penguin really a friend?

On Honeypots - The Interview - Written by Dan Sterling, Directed by Evan Goldberg and Seth Rogen

To be fair, the movie is funny.  LOL funny.  Essentially, it's a bromance-triangle movie, with a Communist, psychopathic dictator trying to break up a celebrity interviewer and his long-time producer.

And I even get why the North Korean government hates it.  I mean, how nice would we be about a movie about assassinating George W. Bush?  Even if it was made by Iraqis?  Somebody would get droned.  This had the potential to be a niche comedy, like Franco and Rogen's days on Freaks and Geeks.  Between North Korea's suspected cyberattacks on Sony and the US, and threats made by North Korean sympathizers (how many of those could there possibly be?  6?), the movie will now be seen as a some sort of patriotic statement about free speech.  Is it?

Well, it's definitely about free speech.  Franco plays a telegenic celebrity interviewer named Dave Skylark, who's biggest accomplishment is confirming that Eminem is gay.  Rogen plays Aaron Rapaport, which is a serious journalist-sounding name (maybe named for this guy?), for a guy who once wanted to do serious journalism, but has spent the last decade making tons of moolah with his best buddy Dave Skylark.  Aaron's feelings of not doing real journalism get them into their mess to begin with.

After bitching to Dave that he wants to interview more important subjects, Dave gets a promise from him that Aaron will never break up with him if Aaron gets what he wants, and ends up getting Aaron on the scent of Kim Jong-Un, hoping that the dictator's love of Dave Skylark could get them an in with the most reclusive man on the planet.  Against all odds and despite terms that violate all journalistic ethics, the interview is a go when the CIA literally shows up at Dave and Aaron's crash pad.

Lizzy Caplan plays straight woman CIA Agent Lacey to Franco's and Aaron's wild antics as she entices them with sexy glasses (Really?  Is that a thing?) into agreeing to assassinate the guy they're interviewing.  Because North Korea will have no way of knowing that the CIA showed up at their place.  And whisked them away to Langley for training in using a Ricin strip and a handshake.  And North Korea will be in no way suspicious that Americans would want to assassinate their leader either.  Hey, if you want realism, watch Manufacturing Consent.

Diana Bang plays Sook, also a straight woman to Franco and Rogen's craziness, a North Korean propaganda official who will be doing Aaron's job for him while Skylark simply reads the questions she's already written for Kim Jong-Un.   Once in North Korea, and awaiting The Interview in Kim's private mansion, they lose the Ricin strip and have to get it replaced by drone drop, fight a tiger for it, and store it in Aaron's ass.  I wouldn't mention this, except it leads to a ridiculously awesome bit where Seth Rogen, naked, simply bounces and waves his dick around furiously to the horror of North Korean soldiers.  Once again, this film is not realism.

Trouble ensues when Kim Jong-Un actually shows up, desperate to meet Dave Skylark and be his best buddy.  Well, when a guy's got a tank, his own basketball court, and lots of chicks in bikinis hanging around, he's hard to resist.  Can people who party hard really be all that bad?  Randall Park literally owns every scene, even when his Kim Jong-Un is losing badly to Dave Skylark.  He can be shy, geeky, self-effacing, blythely happy, and then turn around to quietly rage about killing each and every one of his own people to be taken seriously as a world leader.   He's effusive when tooling around in a tank, shooting off shells for the fuck of it, and bitter about every setback.  Life is supposed to be perfect for him.  His whole nation is set up to provide everything he could ever want at everyone else's expense. So, Park plays him as childlike and freely happy morphing into teenaged Trench Coat Mafia with no notice.

While Dave is letting Kim sabotage his relationship with Aaron, Aaron retaliates.  Angry that Skylark is abandoning him and drinking Kim's Kool-Aid, he's only too happy to fall into Sook's arms. While Sook admits to Aaron how awful Kim and North Korea are, Skylark gets a front row seat to Kim's psychopathic crazy, and discovers he's been played by a mass killer.  Together, the three team up (four, if you count the gift puppy) to brave bullets, bitten-off fingers, and the threat of a nuclear war to totally waste Kim and pave the way for Sook to bring freedom to her people.  And Seal Team Six gets to save our heroes.

Back at home, best buds again, Aaron and Dave reflect how the chicks totally played them.  Lacey played them to get Kim dead;  Sook played them to start her own successful revolution for Freedom.  And Skype.  They're pretty good-natured about it, because Skylark got a book deal and a puppy, and Aaron got a hot, kickass girlfriend out of the whole thing.

And that's the movie.  Is it about Free Speech?  Well, Dave Skylark thinks so.  And who can argue with the guy who made Kim Jong-Un cry and shit himself?

Tell 'Em Gotham's Gonna Cut You Down - Gotham - Season 1, Episode 12

We've had two episodes without Master Bruce, and I've decided that I don't give a shit what happens to him.  The show works a few times better without Wayne Manor interludes.  I'm tired of Boy, Interrupting slowing down the action of the show.  I don't know if the show's writers figured out that it's boring to watch Master Bruce pin new clippings to his Wall of Murder, or if this is a lucky interlude so Jim Gordon's arc can be wrapped up more efficiently.

What I do know, is that Jim Gordon is figuring out that if he takes a risk, he's got the smarts and strength to make it work.  And I love seeing the parallel arcs of Jim and Penguin.  One is advancing in the GCPD despite the fears of his bosses.  One is advancing in the crime world by manipulating two major crime bosses.  Both are extraordinary stories. And this episode shows them briefly interweaving.

Falcone starts the episode, apologizing to his latest victim.  It's not clear if he's business-as-usual, bored, or tired as he walks away before the guns are fired.

Johnny Cash opens the action, with the refrain from "God's Gonna Cut You Down".  The original meaning is that God will eventually punish the world's sinners.  I like to think it reminds us that our karma catches up to us all eventually.  We pan to Irwin's Electronics, a warehouse of sorts, mostly fencing stolen merch.  The word is out on Gruber's escape, and the warehouse owner knows exactly who's breaking in the second his assistant is fried while answering a knock on the door.  The door swings open and the assistant crumples against the door frame as Gruber enters, to Warehouse Owner's terror.  He shows Gruber and Gruber's new assistant, Aaron, the equipment he stored for Gruber while the guy was locked up.  But it doesn't save him.  Gruber ends up lobotomizing him, too.

The police are on the case, busy watching a slide show of the two escapees, when Jim, dressed for detective work, meanders in.  Captain Essen is shocked, and Bullock tries escorting Jim out before Police Commissioner Loeb can see him.  This is Loeb's first appearance, and he's an uptight bastard, who's main point is that Jim should have followed his Dad into prosecuting crime, not gumshoeing.  Jim gets the Commish to agree to reinstate Jim as a Detective First Grade if Jim can apprehend Gruber and Aaron.  In 24 hours.  Bullock is incredulous, and just plain deflated when he finds out that Jim is ecstatic despite having no idea how to start looking for Gruber.

Guess what?  I love getting sent to the principal's office!

Falcone flashes back, distracted by some memory of his mother, while on a stroll with Liza.  O Mio Babbino Caro plays during his memory, and fades while he tries to offer Liza an independent life, set up in some small business that will give her freedom and a chance to start her own family.  Liza, while wearing her white headscarf and picking a magenta daisy, demures.  She confides that Falcone makes her feel safe, and they part after planning on the dinner she'll make for him, Liza's picked flower in Falcone's coat pocket.  Falcone, despite recently killing one of his lieutenants with baseball bat at lunch, looks like he feels old.

It doesn't take long for Liza to be kidnapped off the street, but it turns out that it was cover for Mooney's play.  Liza thinks it's an extreme way to make contact, but Mooney is ready to go.  Is any of this related to whatever secret Liza helped her uncover in that desk drawer?  That whole episode appears irrelevant as Mooney calls in a kidnapping notice, enlisting Liza to play along, which she does.  Falcone hangs up after quietly insisting Liza should not be harmed.

Back at the precinct, Bullock grouses that Jim is a human roller coaster always on the downhill, but Nygma comes to save the day.  Since Gruber's name at Arkham turned out to be an alias, he checked Gruber's fingerprints with multiple databases, discovering that his real name is Jack Bukinsky, and he has a long rap sheet of robberies.  Jim and Bullock figure out that Gruber would have had a friend give him a new identity to get him into Arkham, but are stuck on who that would be.  And where are his old partners in crime?  Nygma also insists that they wear galoshes, which turn out to be more like hiking boots, but with thick rubber soles, which will prevent them from being struck by any electricity.  Bullock turns up his nose; Jim takes the boots.

Plus, your feet will totally stay dry!

When Gruber's ride from Arkham turns up, Jim and Bullock are on the scene and checking out Irwin's Electronics, where they find Warehouse Owner has been assigned an essay, which is writing "I will not betray my master" over and over again, even if he doesn't have anything to write on.  Jim and Bullock realize they are offically on Gruber's trail.

They get another helping hand when Dr. Thompson, now wanting Jim to call her Lee, wanders through Jim's precinct with a doll.  But, not just any doll.  Dr. Lee, shyly but happily, describes to Jim how her Pagan Sorceress patient gets barter payments from other Arkham inmates to stick these voodoo dolls with her magical powers.  And Dr. Lee just happens to have the doll Gruber bartered for stabbing.  It's named Mr. M.  Hmm...

We don't have to wait long.  M is for Maroni, who is enjoying lunch with a great story of what a bitch it is to get information out of guy whose teeth you've knocked out.  Penguin is interrupted by a call from Falcone, who wants him to clear his schedule for helping Falcone get Liza returned.  Penguin, gleeful, hangs up and relishes bringing down Mooney.  Maroni excuses him to go see his sick mother, but before Penguin can clear out and work for the other crime boss, he's shocked at the door into unconsciousness.  Gruber attacks the lunch, buzzing everyone, leaving them with electrical burns and groggy heads.

Maroni tries to look like an innocent citizen attacked for no reason while he recuperates in an ambulance.  Jim isn't buying it and correctly guesses that Maroni is not only Mr. M, but a former crime partner with Gruber, who stayed out of jail while Gruber, or Bukinsky, got locked up.  He offers Maroni the chance to help them get Gruber off the streets. Maroni's pondering the offer when Penguin comes to behind him, muttering that he needs to get to his urgent business for Don Falcone.  And Jim can see that Maroni's got a guy with divided loyalties.  Jim has no management advice for Maroni, who probably wouldn't take it anyway.

I was totally just minding my own business, officer.

Instead, Jim and Bullock return to the precinct, with Maroni.  Penguin is carried in, too.  It's not like he can visit his sick mother right now, anyway.  And, this way, Maroni can get to the bottom of Penguin's urgent business with Falcone.  Bullock thinks it's a terrible idea for Maroni to be bait for Gruber right at the fucking precinct.  But, Jim points out that the precinct is the safest place for them to meet Gruber, and Maroni's already ordering espresso from the staff anyway.

Mooney calls Falcone as herself.  Falcone doesn't buy her story that she's been asked to be a go-between for Liza's kidnappers, so Mooney comes clean.  And she makes Falcone a fair offer- take Liza and leave Gotham for good.  Falcone, with no haggling or whining, accepts.

First Mate is ecstatic.  After all their planning and plotting and killing, it only took two phone calls to bring down Don Carmine Falcone.  Mooney suddenly gets nostalgic, pointing out that Falcone built the organization she will be taking over, so they're going to play nice now that she's getting it .  She and Liza try to puzzle out just how much feeling a girl should have for a man she's been playing.  Liza looks torn.  She can't decide who she actually wants to be loyal to.  That's a death knell on this show.  In Gotham, you live by either being loyal to your boss, or only loyal to yourself.  Gotham never rewards waverers.

Falcone calls in Viktor, he of the bald head and murderous tendencies.  Viktor is sure he can kill Liza's kidnappers, re-establishing Falcone as the boss, but Falcone is wondering if maybe it's time for him to go.  After a life of doing whatever it takes to get to the top and stay there, he can't help wondering why he's been doing it.  After all, it's never enough.  There's never enough money, or power, or control.  So why keep going?  Viktor assures him it's for the respect that he deserves.

Penguin comes to and barely manages to convince Maroni that his "urgent business with Falcone" is only the babbling of a groggy head.  Can he go see his mother now?  Maroni reluctantly lets him go, which is the last thing I'd do.

Oh that?  That's the PTSD talking!

Once again, though, it's not Penguin's lucky day and Gruber strikes as he's leaving.  Again.  Gruber, somehow, has gotten control of the electrical feed into the precinct, and is using his shock body suit to send a ton of juice through the building's exposed metal structure.  Brownouts and sparks become total pitch darkness as the shock also knocks everyone out.

Gruber enters to a still, dark precinct.  Lit only by the moon and streetlights outside.  Sleeping bodies are strewn everywhere, and Gruber finds Maroni's.  He's foiled by hiking boots.  Notably, Jim's hiking boots.  But Gruber's not alone, and Jim finds himself duking it out with Aaron while Gruber, like Falcone, asks what Jim's fighting for.  Gruber tries to provoke the same existential crisis Falcone is having by asking if Maroni is really worth getting pummeled by Aaron for.  Jim replies that everyone is worth his struggles.  Gruber's not impressed, and continues to play shrink while Jim eventually beats Aaron to face him.  Gruber opines that Jim just can't handle losing.  Jim agrees, and instead of trying to fight Gruber, simply tosses water on Gruber's crackling body suit.  It shuts down with a few snaps and crackles, and Gruber is deflated.  Jim has literally recaptured both men.  With about 13 hours to spare.  Go Jim!

With the right boots, you can achieve anything!

Penguin appears, disheveled and still bloody, at Falcone's.  Falcone doesn't ask why his inside man is late, and Penguin tries to assure him that he came as soon as he could after a terrible day.  While prostrate before the Don, Falcone updates him again.  Penguin erupts, once again reminding Falcone that this is Mooney's play, which Falcone already knows.  What he doesn't know, and doesn't want to believe, is that Liza is in on it.  But Penguin reminds him that Liza reminds Falcone of his own mother.  Does Falcone really think that's an accident?  Despite smacking Penguin, we can see the wheels in his mind turning.

When Falcone meets Mooney, as determined, at her club. He manages to force Mooney to produce Liza, unharmed, before he'll sign anything over to Mooney.  And he's pretty incredulous that Mooney thinks signed documents will make her actually in charge of anything.  When Liza appears, Falcone can't stop caressing her face as he charges her with being a part of the plot.  Everyone is sad, and deflated.  Except for Falcone.  Who has his own goons immediately ninja their way into the club, holding Mooney, First Mate and Liza at gunpoint.

Mooney goes from repentant to vengeful and back again as Falcone realizes he's still got his mojo, and his crime organization.  He keeps Mooney and First Mate alive.  And he saves his quiet, but menacing scolding for Mooney.  In the end, he knows Penguin was right because he's told Mooney all about his mother.  And he's deeply disappointed that Mooney used that info to make him vulnerable.  And he's deeply sorry to Liza, who doesn't know that she's about to die until Falcone actually strangles her right in front of her boss.  He promises Mooney that she's going to suffer before introducing the club's new manager.

The guy's disabled, but not letting that stop him as he emerges from behind Falcone.  Penguin flashes his dangerous, vengeful, evil snarl of a smile while greeting Mooney.  Mooney realizes she will lose her club to the guy who snitched on her in the first place.  Falcone leaves, but not before commemorating Liza by kissing her magenta daisy and dropping it next to her body.

Screw it, I'll serve revenge hot!

Jim gets his badge back in a very public ceremony, with Commissioner Loeb personally returning it for the cameras.  But Jim's got a secret for Loeb- the next person to mess with his badge is going to be his next target for justice.  Jim realizes that he can win at these power plays.  He's got a lot of high profile collars, and a reputation for going after criminals large and small.  Bullock can't believe his ears when Jim tells him he's done being careful.  Bullock repeatedly asks if Jim thinks he's been careful before.  He gets no answer.  But he does get an invite for drinks, which Bullock will take as a substitute for answers any day.

Jim's love life looks up a bit, when Dr. Lee Thompson manages to quietly creep into the men's locker room at the precinct, which Jim is using as his personal changing room now that he's been reinstated.  Jim confesses that he doesn't have a place to her while Lee stammers her way through some sort of admission that she like likes Jim.  They have a kiss.  And Lee gets her Pagan Sorceress's voodoo doll back.  Lee Thompson has the advantage of being useful, having no known hang ups, and actually being nice to Jim.

  Which means the relationship is doomed.  

In other love news, Nygma makes a modest inroad with Kris Kringle, but it quickly backfires.  His first attempt is a riddle of a live bullet in a cupcake.  Kris isn't a riddle-lover, and mocks his gift to him.  So, Nygma tries sneaking up on her again, this time to present a poem that ends with the line "A beautiful woman is a dangerous thing".  This gets a modest smile from Kris.  But, Nygma's moment is totally ruined by Detective Bunchy, taking a break from the Ray Donovan show to be a cop and tell Nygma to get lost.  He leaves, only to hear Kris mock him from afar.  He's mildly heartbroken.

Unrequited love is in the air...

And Barbara pays a visit to her parents.  Instead of returning to an apartment that's obviously been kept empty for her, she shows up at Mom and Dad's, convincing the butler that she should be allowed in for the most awkward tea ever in Gotham.  Mom primly asks questions.  Barbara avoids answering, and lies about still being with "James".  Dad is silent, but doesn't argue when Mom lets Barbara stay until the weekend.  Barbara can't decide if she feels humiliated for crawling home for shelter, or afraid her parents won't let her stay.  I have to admit, I'm tired of seeing her half-hearted attempts to have something to do with the plot.  Either give her the traditional girl-reward-for-the-hero-at-the-end plotline, or get her out of Gotham already.

Washing Stark's Underwear - Agent Carter - Season 1, Episode 3

The show is eight episodes, which means that we don't have to wait long to know the secret of the symbol drawn at the end of last week's episode.   We also don't have to wait long for Carter and Jarvis to find the bulk of Stark's Bad Babies and get them sent to the SSR.  Mrs. Jarvis is still not on screen, but we can hear her this week, and we get her backstory.  So she does, in fact, exist.  It's hard to see where the series is going, as I thought it would take eight episodes to round up Stark's stolen merch.  

Everything's played out here, with only a couple loose ends, notably whether Meat Head's extra-marital girlfriend will crash his funeral.  Leviathan is still out there, but they've been unable to get possession of Stark's Bad Babies, and their agent, Mr. Green Suit (not in this epsiode) has lost his magic typewriter,  Leviathan's only win this week was killing Meat Head and his captive, which didn't look all that impressive.

No Google?  Don't worry, just grab a copy of a huge hardcover book of The Complete Works of William Shakespeare.  It includes a Book of Symbols, complete with a heart with a line through it, calling it "Fission".  Which, considering this is right after Hiroshima and Nagasaki, is not ominous at all.

Team SSR Guys continues to do competent detective work while seeming like complete assholes.  And their IDs need serious work.  Despite not having badges or any Constitutional powers or restraints, people still seem to think they're a law enforcement agency of some sort.  Despite not even being an official, overt government agency.

No, these are not playing cards.  We swear.

Jarvis gets a turn being interrogated by the SSR.  Because he can lawyer up, the SSR avoids beating him.  They know from the NYPD paperwork that Jarvis reported Stark's car missing and technically can't be liable for it's appearance at the Roxxon Implosion,  So, all they've got is Jarvis' past, which includes an unfortunate treason charge.  Thompson has no details, but he spends a few minutes threatening to expose Jarvis with the paltry information he does have.  It's Carter to the rescue, pretending to choose the worst moment possible to announce that the SSR does, in fact, know perfectly well that the car was stolen.  Jarvis announces that he's free to go, which is fitting because the SSR doesn't appear to be a real government agency to begin with.

Agent Carter still has to play Dumb Girl, this week in such a way that Chief Dooley gives her a well-deserved lecture.  She plays suitably chastised, suitably naive and inexperienced, and Dooley implies that he can't fire her.  Seriously.  Everyone else's war records are well known- was hers just never written down?  When she's not convincing her co-workers that she's an idiot, she's decided to investigate the vault break in personally, starting with the vault.

Chief Dooley banishes her from the office, giving her time to prepare for her own vault investigation.  Step one is pissing off new friend Angie who would rather spend the evening in a bitch session.  As Carter manages to evade an evening of Schnapps and Rhubarb Pie only to find herself in the middle of meeting a new resident, ostensibly to replace the shameless hussy kicked out over breakfast.  One wonders if Miriam Fry knows that Carter pulled a gun on the miscreant who snuck into her building the night before.  Dottie is from Iowa, wants to be a ballet dancer, and instantly likes Carter, despite her polite reserve.

My gun and I don't like you

Onto the Stark Mansion, where she and Jarvis trade a couple one-liners about what's really necessary for brushing teeth, and lower themselves into the sewer main under Stark's vault.  Because sewer mains are built under private property. Or, at least, this one is.  It's also lit by semi-open manhole covers that would have to be under other parts of Stark's home.  But I digress.  Before the investigation can really get going, Carter manages to convince Jarvis to dish on his treason charge.

Turns out, it was dropped almost instantly.  Partly because Howard Stark involved himself in the matter, and partly because it wasn't really treason.  Jarvis forged someone's signature on a visa to get his Jewish then-girlfriend, now wife Anna out of Budapest and away from the Nazis.  Worth a court-martial, sure, but who slapped a treason charge on this?  

Anway, Carter figures out how Leet Brannis literally floated Stark's Bad Babies to the river, where they also discover the heart symbol on a boat, a private freighter called The Heartbreak, at the South Street Seaport.  Where, exactly, is Stark's mansion, anyway?  Conveniently, Stark's Bad Babies are loaded in crates, just waiting for someone, anyone, to find them.  Which Carter and Jarvis do.  Both are elated, and maybe someone will let them keep Stark's hi-tech back massager.  Carter, at first, wants to openly call it in, as she thinks her sexist co-workers will think she's a great SSR agent for going behind their backs to investigate on Howard Stark's behalf.  Jarvis uses role playing to convince Carter she's so, so wrong.

Sousa and Meat Head, sharing the night shift at SSR HQ, are having a rap session, with Sousa actually taking relationship advice from a married man with a girlfriend and on first name basis with local prostitutes.  Meat Head tries to talk Sousa out of any attempts at Carter- she's been with Captain America.  What could Sousa offer her?  Sousa doesn't have a chance to respond, as Jarvis has a dockworker impersonation he'd like to try out on Sousa's direct line.  Sousa is properly suspicious of the anonymous tip, but drags Meat Head out to the Pier anyway.

While waiting for Jarvis to return, Carter's only problem is the anonymous crewman who discovers her babysitting Stark's stolen merch.  He's a tough guy, and Carter promises to make him break a sweat.  She gets some good punches and kicks in, and she's faster than him, and more nimble.  But all he needs is one good side punch, and she's on her back and about to be pummeled when Jarvis returns.  He bravely tries to stop said crewman, but Jarvis is quickly held against a wall in a chokehold, requiring Carter to try out Stark's back massager on the crewman.  His arm is instantly cramped into paralysis, and it seems to hurt quite a bit.  Which, I'm sure, is why Carter knocks him out with a pipe. 

Let's at least make this something we can brag about tomorrow

Carter doesn't want to leave a witness who can definitely ID her; but Jarvis argues it's better to discredit a witness than be caught red-handed.  They scurry out, leaving nothing to find of themselves, just as Sousa and Meat Head appear and dutifully check The Heartbreak, finding Stark's stash and the knocked out crewman.  Meat Head is jubilant, sure they'll be promoted.  Sousa reminds them the anonymous tipper did all the work, and can't help wondering if it's all a set up.  He quickly sends for the SSR, which is woken up in it's entirety to cart off Stark's merch to the SSR, and the crewman, who is regaining consciousness enough for Meat Head to drive him into HQ for interrogation.

Sousa and Thompson get the job of driving the van to the SSR.  They seem to be successful, as we don't see any of their trip and we see them the next morning.  It's Meat Head who gets hit, literally.  While waxing poetically about Crewman's coming interrogation, he discovers that Crewman is more than willing to give them info on the British dame who knocked him out in the first place.  Meat Head is two more clues to figuring it out when he's rear-ended, requiring him to get out of the car so a hired assassin can kill him with two quick bullet shots.  Crewman goes down to, after desperately noting that he gave no one any information.

Agent Carter somehow manages to re-enter the Hotel Griffith without Miriam Fry knowing, because we see her at the office the next morning expecting to have a good day.  Or, at least, she expects everyone to be so giddy at their success that no one's a dick to her.  And while no one's a dick to her, it's because they're all so down over the loss of Meat Head.  His desk has been preserved, with his snacks still open.  The only change is two tasteful bouquets of flowers.  Chief Dooley will call the wife, while Thompson volunteers to call the girlfriend.  Sousa can only whine about how someone else's death reminds him it could be anyone next.  He only goes on to tell Carter that the anonymous tipper somehow had his direct line, and he suspects the tipper was involved, and will pay for Meat Head's death.  Carter realizes she'll never be able to proclaim her part in solving their mystery for them.

Dooley makes it clear to the office that, innocent or not, Stark is still responsible for Meat Head's death.  When Sousa tells Carter the details, noting that it was a professional, she realizes that Leviathan is still out there, and still a problem.  Stark's Bad Babies are in some SSR basement somewhere, but for how long?

That's a question for another day.  For now, the evening after discovering Stark's merch, there's the Automat.  Carter orders coffee from Angie, and offers to tell Angie about her crappy day.  She can't explain why she's upset over the death of Meat Head, who sucked as a person.  Maybe because she should have been called into work like the guys to ride shot gun with Meat Head and at least keep him from being shot.   Deciding that maybe it's time for Schnapps and Rhubarb Pie, Carter and Angie decide to blow the Automat together.  

A couple of things:  after discovering Mr. Green's hotel room key, magic typewriter, and his fake passports, they now know of two Leviathan agents, although they only know that Leet Brannis had his voice box removed.  And they don't know anything about Leviathan itself.  But they're doing their due diligence, getting passport photos of Mr. Green, checking in with old war buddies for intelligence.  Sousa is openly questioning whether Stark really had anything criminal to do with anything.  Team SSR Guys seems uninterested in investigating the woman clues they had last week, concentrating on Jarvis, and now Stark's merch.

So, players out there: Leviathan, Stark, and any merch not recovered last night.  Chief Dooley was suitably suspicious of how lax security around stolen superweapons was, and what the real plan for them could be.  And next week, Stark makes an appearance so Carter can bitch him out about something.  Let's hope we transition away from the Secret-Girl-Agent Show and into the Let's Work Together and Establish SHIELD Show soon.

Howard's Bad Babies - Agent Carter - Season 1, Episodes 1 & 2

Did you know guys were really sexist once?  Like, even more than now.  Sure, guys like to engage in the occasional rape victim-blaming.  Sure, they gripe about not getting primary custody of kids in the divorce.  And, I'm tired of hearing about some male nerd's traumatic experience with rejection and how it totally makes him not privileged.

But, dear reader, there was a time when women got fired because a man wanted her job.  Literally.  There was a time when guys expected women to be decorative, always happy to dance with them or make out with them or fetch them coffee or do their filing (well, worse than they do now).  There was a time when "colleague" meant "secretary", if the colleague was a woman.  There was a time when all-women apartment houses had curfews, and no men were allowed upstairs, and safe housing meant reporting to some martinet in the office.  The only good news is that there was a time when "Lady Things" got you a personal day.

I introduce Marvel's Agent Carter this way because the show is explicitly feminist.  Agent Peggy Carter, a member of the Strategic Scientific Reserve since the War, must navigate not just secret plots involving superweapons and bad guys, but must do it with minimal help and despite the openly sexist treatment she gets at work.  In fact, the main reason she takes the long-term, secret mission is because her newly-narrowed world is suffocating and exasperating.  A side reason is clearing a friend.

Agent Carter, as a show, spends a lot of time in the first two episodes setting up the characters, male and female, who either help, hinder, or hunt Carter.  For an overtly feminist show, Carter is the only female character who's really fleshed out and given more to do than waitress or connect phone lines.  The rest of the females wander in and out of Carter's day.  Rose works in the elevator lobby, connecting phone lines like the cover company for the SSR says she should.  She really controls the elevator up to the Important Floor, where Agents' desks are spread out among dim lighting.  Angie is around whenever Carter needs a place to eat and meet with her secret assistant, waiting tables and helping Carter find a new apartment.  Said apartment is monitored by Miriam Fry, who looks like she'll be watching Carter for any un-ladylike behavior.  And Colleen dies after literally lying in bed almost the whole time.  For all the shows's feminist marketing and lines, none of these women are in Carter's confidence, mostly because she's afraid of hurting them.  But, being the Extraordinary Woman she is, she can take the risks, of course.

The male characters mostly exist to show us how sexist the 1940s were.  Random men strewn across her secret mission treat her as decoration, or a makeout partner.  Her fellow Agents at the SSR treat her like a secretary.  Only Howard Stark wants to give her anything important to do.  And even he's giving her marching orders while carrying a suitcase down to a motorboat so he can flee after giving Carter the task of rounding up things he literally calls "Bad Babies".  Yes, the show has Stark leave town after telling Carter to deal with his babies.  At least Stark leaves someone useful for Carter behind- his butler, Mr. Jarvis. Yes, Howard's son will eventually name his AI after this guy.

I leave my messes in your capable hands

Why?  Because Mr. Jarvis, while not exceptional himself, is attentive to detail, can remember where Stark's journals are, and can stitch up wounds.  Jarvis is the only male character who would deign to cook for his wife, or wear an apron when doing so.  Usually, his role in adventure shows is taken by a woman, but Jarvis slips into the role perfectly.  Unlike most characters, male or female, Jarvis has no gender-based humor or taglines for her.  He just wants her to let him help, and wants Carter to remain sane and connected to her fellow human beings.

So, it's disturbing to find that he's got a secret agenda of his own, which involves Carter helping someone unseen without even knowing it.  Which implies that Jarvis has loyalties to someone besides Stark.  A member of Congress looking for Stark, perhaps?  Or worse?

Otherwise, the guys exist to either screw up or lag behind.  Roger, is the office's Captain.  He's cynical and barely competent.  Ray is the resident Meathead.  Jack is the Face Guy, happy to beat a suspect for his Captain, still thinking this is going to be a typical law enforcement job.  And having problems with the idea of alphabetical order.  Sousa, while a gentleman who tries sticking up for Carter, still underestimates her.  Will he stumble on to her secret mission to recover Howard Stark's horrific, stolen weapons, and help her once he realizes how smart and awesome she is?  Who knows.  He shares one attribute with Carter- the other Agents like to belittle him as much as they do Carter, due to the loss of a leg during the War.  So, despite the two of them being actual War Heroes, all either gets to do is paperwork.  At least Sousa gets to analyze photos instead of filing.

Will either end up helping Carter or stalking her

Carter's long-term mission will involve her with Bad Baby after Bad Baby, somehow neutralizing Howard Stark's worst inventions before they can be used against the world.  This week's is a truckload of glowing bombs, which can be neutralized using the chemicals in your kitchen and make-up bag.  But, woe to any who drop them, as these things will basically suck anything loose in a 500-yard radius into a glob of stuff.

Carter is up against something call Leviathan, who is represented by a sneaky blond guy with a creepy mini-stache and a green suit.  Mr. Green, like his colleauge Leet Brannis, has had his vocal cords removed and requires a small device pressed into his neck to speak.  Unlike Leet, he survives the episode, setting him up against Carter over future Bad Babies.  Unlike the other male characters, Mr. Green doesn't seem particularly hung up over gender.  He never underestimates Carter, and has no sexist jokes or innuendo for her.  He just wants her dead, and Stark's Bad Baby in Leviathan's possession.  She manages to beat him and take the first Bad Baby, but he's got a magic typewriter telling him to never give up.

Telecommuting in 1946?!

Carter is also up against the open, casual, guilt-less sexism of the time.  A rude diner harasses Angie at the diner (called an Automat at the time),  Safe housing for women is hard to find, and usually only in all-women buildings with chaperones.  Carter's mission plays out against a Radio Show glorifying Captain America, presumed dead in 1946, while painting someone named "Betty Carver" as a helpless, brainless damsel to be rescued.   All while most of the female characters fume helplessly behind the men's backs.

The show uses the rampant sexism of the time to set up the major conflicts between Carter and her colleagues, and require her to work in secret, with enemies on all sides.  Carter is usually just minutes ahead of her enemies, who want to use Stark's weapons; and her colleagues, who are searching for the same weapons, but to implicate Stark instead of clearing him.  Carter would love to use her knowledge of Stark from their work during the War to help her colleagues; but Captain Roger and the other Keystone Cops think she was more likely his girlfriend than colleague, and happily conspire to keep her out of the loop.

She gets herself put back into the loop through a combination of pouring coffee for the boys, and impersonating a health inspector.  Carter has the advantage of being able to play any schtick, like a con woman with a Cause.  And she knows how to put a stapler and lipstick to good use.  When the show isn't showing Carter dealing with other people's gender hang-ups, it shows her using those hang-ups against her marks.  It's a great way to get things done without anyone realizing they've been played, and gives the viewers the fun of watching sexist pigs get their due when Carter outsmarts them (like the bad diner at the Automat).

But, does the show really think she's going to stay undetected by her boss and colleagues forever? Her colleagues, though slow, do connect dots eventually.  Sousa isn't stupid, which we know because he doesn't leave sensitive photos out on his desk, locking them in a drawer instead.  And while the Keystone Cops fret over dead Leet Brannis, Sousa finds someone's secret hotel room key in the dirt.  How long will he be fooled?  Even Meathead ends the show with a find of his own, namely the license plate from Howard Stark's now-disposed-of car, which will implicate Stark even further despite Carter's efforts.  For now, Carter has only Jarvis, who we know isn't being fully straight with her, maybe even using her to commit his own treason.

I don't know if Agent Carter will be able to do more than pay lip service to the idea of women's equality.  I don't know if the show's blatant cheerleading for women will translate into female characters who actually advance the plot.  I don't know if I like, or am tired of, using historical sexism to put a female character into a lonely, dangerous place.  The show wants to be both a monster-of-the-week and an issues show.  Which, I'm not opposed to.  But the show is setting up huge monsters, and we know that Carter and Stark will eventually join with others to set up an organization that can defeat them.  So, we know that Carter can't actually save the world on her own.  Are we going to see the transition from lone-woman-secret-agent to respected founder and leader of SHIELD?  Or, is Carter's only true ally going to be her lipstick?